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According to Eurostat, 35.3% of men and 21.7% of women aged 25 to 34 in Europe live with their parents. Some researchers attribute this to economic instability and the fact that today's youth enter into serious relationships later. But sometimes it’s a matter of basic convenience: living with your parents is easier than paying half your salary for rent and eating only dumplings.
We conducted a reader survey and spoke with emotionally focused therapist Yana Kataeva. We'll figure out why parents shouldn't keep their children and what to do if you live with your mother and can't bring friends home.
Why is it better to live separately from your parents?
It’s good to live with your parents: they will feed you, give you something to drink, wash you, clean you up, wake you up, give you a lift, and give you pocket money. Ideally, of course, because there are also parents with whom it is much more difficult to live physically and mentally than on your own.
Why then do young people try to do everything to live separately on their own? Statistics have found that the age of separation from parents is decreasing every year. Now young people try to separate themselves as soon as they finish school. So what's the deal?
- Parental oppression. Parents are wiser, they always know everything better. Adults do not accept mistakes, because they chew everything so carefully to their foolish children. And young people want to make mistakes. And then learn and make mistakes again. How else to gain experience if not on your own?
- 24/7 control. You can't just come home at three in the morning without explanation. You must definitely say where and with whom you were, and also be sure to swear three times that this will not happen again.
- Eternal monitoring of progress. A C on an exam is a consequence of your drinking session with friends three months ago. So, no more discos anytime soon until you get a 4.9 GPA for the entire session.
- Constant guilt for doing everything wrong. Disappointment in the eyes of old people, which breaks their hearts and yours.
The advantages of living separately from your parents are that you lose all of the above. Be prepared to also lose a cozy environment, pocket money, round-the-clock love and care.
First part-time job
If you've never made money before, try to figure out what you're good at.
If you know that you are good at Russian language and literature, you can write essays for your classmates.
Okay, this isn't a completely legal example. Give private lessons to those who are lagging behind, provide tutoring. Don't worry: even astronauts and roboticists got their start with some crappy job as kids.
If you can't find a subject you're good at, find parents who need help with their child. Working as a part-time nanny for a few hours a week will help you start collecting your capital.
Pros : this type of work can be done without prior pedagogical training; you receive some kind of salary.
Cons : You may not have the patience to deal with capricious and restless creatures. After all, often these activities are needed not by them themselves, but by their parents.
Still not yours? Then pay attention to copywriting, contextual advertising, help with walking pets.
Here’s another great way to almost make money, which will allow you not to miss school or go to work.
What should you think about in advance?
There are a few other things to consider before talking to your parents about moving.
First, you need to decide where you are moving to. It is not necessary to choose a specific apartment; it will be enough to roughly determine the area where you will move and the main parameters of the new home.
Secondly, you definitely need to calculate your budget. If you are moving into a rented apartment, you will need money for at least the first month's rent, plus a security deposit. And if the apartment has not yet been lived in, you need to budget for essentials and money for the first time.
note
When you live with your parents, you don’t notice the number of expenses that you have to incur after moving. It's not just about food, even banal dishwashing detergents, rags, light bulbs and much more may need to be purchased independently in a new apartment. In total, this can result in a tidy sum.
Thirdly, are you planning to live alone or with someone? If there is one (one), and you have a sufficient budget for this, then it’s one thing. And if you intend to assign part of the costs to another person, then be sure to answer yourself the question: “What kind of person is this? Can I be sure of him? This is important so that at some point all the costs do not fall on you.
First job
Take a good look around: you can always find something to make money from.
It’s immediately clear that you won’t get as much money from a part-time job as from a full-time job. Therefore, having entered university, it’s time to think about finding something permanent and more serious than dog walking.
But how can this be done if the university requires you to attend all classes? Moreover, you need to turn in your homework, tests and labs on time. But work requires constant presence at certain hours, and being late is at least indecent. And the maximum that awaits you is that you will lose what you go there for: money.
Browse the advertisements. You will definitely find vacancies for merchandisers, promoters, couriers and other specialties that can be hired even if you are still 17.
As a rule, specialties that do not require special training and experience are paid in the amount of about 80 rubles per hour.
Pros : flexible work schedule, the ability to combine work, study and sports training or hobbies.
Cons : prepare to be tired, and very tired.
Here is an approximate weekly schedule that awaits you after getting a job, if you really want to start living separately from your parents.
This is what your work/school day might look like:
Don’t forget that even with work, you will have to incur some expenses:
Meals, travel and much more will now also have to be paid for independently.
This is also worth considering when choosing a job with a certain salary.
If you were under 18 years old when you started working, you will receive significantly less. Immediately after reaching adulthood, submit official documents to apply for a legal position. This will not only increase your level of earnings, but will also give a start to your work experience.
Here are some more useful tips for those living separately:
- Try to eat not in corporate canteens, but in the nearest cheap supermarkets. Food from Auchan will save you a lot of money.
- Don’t rush to buy yourself a cool training uniform from your first salary. Wait for your salary to increase, otherwise you will not be able to avoid debt.
- The better you study, the higher your scholarship. And a good scholarship is a good help for your salary.
- If you spend a lot of time traveling to/from work, take your homework with you. You will be surprised how much you can do in the time spent on public transport!
- Don't be afraid of difficulties. It will be hard at first. But over time, you will get into this rhythm and will cope with all the difficulties once or twice.
Are you planning to move to another city?
Illustration: Ekaterina Denisenko / Lifehacker
New city - new opportunities, new stage of life. And it should start in a comfortable environment. If students have a chance to stay in a dormitory, then working people certainly need separate housing.
The real estate market in the capital is huge. The main thing here is not to get confused and correctly prioritize your search. First, determine your financial maximum - the amount you are willing to spend on living in comfortable conditions. Compare the cost of rental housing with the expected time of stay in the new city. If you plan to stay here for a long time, consider buying an apartment.
When choosing a home, pay attention to the area and its infrastructure: shops, pharmacies, parking lots, clinics, schools and kindergartens, sports and recreation areas. Don’t forget about transport accessibility: the key role is played not so much by the distance from home to work, but by road congestion. Sometimes you can get to new construction areas outside the Moscow Ring Road faster than getting out of the traffic jam inside the third ring road. In addition, the new areas are many times more comfortable than typical buildings of the last century.
Housing issues
Heaven in a hut can be even for one.
If a teenager already lives separately from his parents, then he knows what is possible and what is not.
But if separation from parents has not yet occurred, you need to know what you will have to face.
Dorm room
This only threatens the very, very purposeful:
- those who are excellent students;
- those who grew up in single-parent families, large families, military families, etc.;
- those who are in very difficult life situations (but be prepared to provide strong evidence).
However, this type of housing has quite contrasting advantages and disadvantages.
Pros : significant savings on rental housing; fun and freedom always reign; You can always get any materials for study, as well as simply for life - sugar, a blanket, yeast or a drinking buddy.
Cons : your neighbors will be not only classmates, but also other unwanted neighbors (cockroaches, bedbugs and other living creatures); regular passing of an additional “session” (fire safety rules, cleanup days, duty on duty, in the kitchen, on the floor, etc.); if you are late at a meeting with friends or with your parents, then after 23.00 you are unlikely to be allowed into the hostel ( this is the law!); you may come across a “not your dream” neighbor with whom you may have disagreements about the placement of things, cleaning, music or something else; It’s simply impossible to get enough sleep in a dorm.
Renting an apartment yourself
So, if you are a minor, then you need to know how long you can live separately from your parents. The law says that children under 14 years of age cannot be registered separately from their parents.
If there are compelling reasons, children may register at any location separate from their parents.
From the age of 16, if necessary, an emancipation procedure can be carried out - premature recognition as an adult.
All these difficulties can be completely avoided if you have a good relationship with your parents and they are not against the child starting to live separately at 15 years old or at any other age. In this case, they will help you with everything: in finding housing, concluding a rental agreement, and will also be responsible for you.
Renting a home yourself is very expensive. But we have some tips for you on how to reduce your tuition costs and help yourself and your parents a little.
The advantages of renting an entire apartment : the ability to receive guests or come home at any convenient time; housekeeping in the usual way, independence from the tastes and views of other people; choosing the right area (closer to work or university); you don’t have to worry about the integrity of your own belongings and products
Disadvantages of renting an entire apartment : high rental costs; the condition of the apartment is not always decent; landlords can show up without warning and raise rent without warning; may be asked to move out at any inconvenient moment; neighbors will keep a close eye on you and if there is loud music or guests, they may immediately call the police; The degree of wear and tear of furniture and equipment is unknown, so you are responsible for any damage.
Rent a room
Renting a room is much easier and cheaper than renting an entire apartment. And it seems like this is the same rented apartment, but not the whole thing, but only part of it.
But there are some nuances here that are worth knowing.
For example, my classmate rented a room in her first year from a seemingly sweet grandmother. But soon things took an unexpected turn. As soon as a student went to a disco or returned home 5 minutes later than the usual schedule of classes at the university, a sweet granny would play with her classmate’s mother and wash that bone. Not what we count on when we want to start an independent life, right?
However, if you come across an adequate owner (or even he will live separately and rent out the entire apartment room by room to different people), then there is quite a chance to live “high.”
Pros : you can choose the location of the apartment yourself; often good living conditions because often the owners themselves live in the same apartment and take care of the territory).
Cons : shared bathroom; restrictions on visits; inconvenience to the hosts if you return late; the possibility of running into inappropriate roommates.
You found a good offer
The reason for changing housing may be a timely offer that meets all requests. Even if you and your family have enough square meters in the common area and you get along well with each other, sooner or later the time will come to buy your own apartment. When you don’t need to rush, you can choose an option in a newly built house and calmly furnish your dream home.
This option, by the way, can be considered not only by older children, but also by their parents. If you were planning to leave your current apartment to your child and understand that he may soon start his own family, then it makes sense to look for housing for yourself. And choose a quiet area with a park and recreational facilities, shopping and medical facilities within walking distance.
In Rumyantsevo-Park you can find housing for every taste: from small studios with two windows to four-room apartments. Young couples will certainly like Euro-format apartments with a spacious kitchen-living room.
Entrance lobbies and apartment halls in the houses are decorated according to an individual design project, and the facade is finished with decorative stone. The first floors of the buildings are occupied by supermarkets, cafes, beauty salons and pharmacies - all the necessary services can be obtained without wasting time on a trip to the city center. An apartment in a modern business-class residential complex can be purchased at a comfortable price - from 4.4 million rubles. And this does not take into account the discount from the developer, which in the summer can be significant.
Choose your dream apartment
