How to choose the right age to get married? Many women think about what age to get married, just as men try to find the right time to get married.
But instead of racking your brains over what age to do this, it’s better to ask yourself other questions to understand whether you are ready for this.
The appropriate age to get married is unique across the world. Many people believe that you can get married at any age, the main thing is that you have true love, but stop for a minute and think...Is this true? Actually this is not true. Unfortunately, a successful marriage includes much more than just mutual love, and this is proven by the experience of many couples in love. So, how to determine at what age to get married? Let's go in order.
Do you have financial stability?
Marriage is a commitment that goes beyond going to the movies and going out to dinner once a week. Marriage truly changes your life and introduces financial responsibility. Now only you are responsible for yourself and your family, and from now on you will no longer be able to ask your parents for pocket money. You should both have a job or income that will allow you to live comfortably and cope with any money problems that may arise along the way.
Should you get married early?
An important condition necessary for creating a strong family is love. But she can come suddenly and is not interested in age. If it so happens that serious and mutual feelings overtook your daughter at an early age, then you can get her married at the age of 16. Until recently, according to the law, getting married at 16 without parental consent was possible only in the case of “special circumstances ,” which included pregnancy and the birth of a child. Today there is an amendment to the Family Code, according to which the age of marriage under “special circumstances” in certain regions, including the Moscow region, is reduced to 14 years.
Young bride under “special circumstances”
Early marriages are traditional among many nations. Several years ago, the wedding of 47-year-old Chechen Nazhud Guchigov and Luiza Goilabieva was widely discussed. The bride was 17 years old. Many condemned the groom for an unequal marriage, and besides, it was the second in a row. However, the ancient customs of Chechnya were not violated. In Saudi Arabia, an 80-year-old man officially married a 12-year-old girl. So young brides next to older grooms are not uncommon . But such unions cannot be considered widespread; in Russia these are isolated cases. Most young couples, in accordance with the law, get married after 18 years. In some countries, adulthood comes later: at 19 years old in South Korea, some states of the USA, Canada; at 20 years old - in Japan, Tunisia, Taiwan; at 21 - in Singapore, Egypt, most US states, China.
Unequal marriage
Are you emotionally mature?
The average age of marriage does not affect you specifically, it is just a statistic. Therefore, to live happily as a married couple, your couple must be emotionally mature. After marriage, the problems you encounter in everyday life will become twice as large, because you will have a partner with his own baggage of these same problems. Can you handle this?
From now on, you will no longer be able to hide from problems in your room, and your mother will no longer clean up the mess you created. You have a huge responsibility on your shoulders and you will have to constantly face difficulties in your own family. Are you ready for this?
At what age to get married? Latest Research
American sociologist Nicholas Wolfinger conducted a large-scale study. To answer the question “at what age is the best time to get married,” he analyzed statistics on family dynamics in the United States and obtained interesting data. It turned out that the likelihood of divorce among people who got married at 28-30 years old is lower than among those who legalized their relationship earlier or later.
The scientist notes that he only took into account age and did not pay attention to:
- place of residence;
- education;
- nationality;
- income level.
The sociologist explained his conclusion with five reasons. Let's look at each one.
Psychological awareness
The official marriage age in Russia is 18 years. But, according to psychologists, personality formation ends only at the age of 25. It is during these years that a person stops acting under the influence of hormones, learns to make informed decisions and take responsibility. Therefore, thirty-year-olds have a higher chance of choosing a worthy partner, rather than falling in love with the first person they meet.
But! My dears, I never focus on the age of women. Because anyone can get married and maintain a strong relationship. If at the same time she works on herself, she uses special chips. For example, those that we discuss at the training “Mom won’t teach you this.”
Formed rear
The second reason why 30 years old is the ideal age to get married is the “formed rear”. What I mean? Most people have already decided on a profession, completed their education, and achieved their first career successes. They have enough capital to “take a break,” stop chasing material values and think about what they want. For many, starting a family is the natural next step.
The next “revaluation” occurs at 40-45 years old, and this is a crisis period for relationships, fraught with divorce.
To prevent this from happening, please do not forget about
the simple rules of family happiness .
Reasons
At the age of 18-20, girls choose a guy impulsively: they liked the smile, cool hairstyle or manner of communication. At 30 years old, this approach does not work. Young women consider men as fathers of the family; moral and spiritual qualities are important to them.
I recommend remembering my special technology “ Positive Future and Real Present ”. When meeting a man, ask the right questions. First find out what his plans are for the next few years, and only then ask about his current state of affairs. Compare the answers and make a decision. Such a scheme will immediately weed out the losers.
Mental flexibility
The next important factor is mental flexibility, the ability to change and adapt to your partner. Thirty-year-old spouses are still ready to make concessions to each other; with age, this becomes more difficult. Everyone has their own “baggage” of past relationships, complexes, and fears.
But I believe that there is no maximum age for marriage; you can find love both after 40 and after 50. And the Summer Camp program does a great job of helping people cope with psychological barriers and pressures at any age.
Common goals
Who can get married and at what age? We have already realized that the best option is when a family is created by mature, conscious individuals. But there is another important factor. This is a community of goals.
At the age of 20, young people act rashly and impulsively. Remember what you can often hear from emotional boys and girls?
- “I can’t live without him/her even a day”
- "This is the love of my life"
- “I won’t love you more”
Many marriages are concluded on this explosive wave of feelings. Alas, sometimes passion is not enough even for a couple of years. Young spouses, already married, present each other with a full list of claims.
At the age of 40, couples enter into official relationships often because they want to lean on a strong shoulder and overcome life’s difficulties together. Some people just want to get rid of loneliness.
According to the study, only thirty-year-olds succeed in everything with a bang. On the one hand, they are still full of energy and sensuality. On the other hand, they know how to make informed decisions. And creating a family for them becomes a natural stage of life development.
Are you ready for compromises?
Do you like to meet with friends often? Do you like to take long baths? Or maybe you like to spend a lot of time on the couch? Are you ready to sacrifice all this for the sake of a relationship? Marriage looks nice from the outside, but in real life, marriage is constant compromise. Moreover, you make concessions for the sake of your loved one because you want to, and not because you have to. You try to please your loved one, sacrificing meeting with friends, because this brings him a lot of joy and happiness.
What age should a man get married?
Of course, the question of when is the best time to get married requires a purely individual approach . However, the opinion that if you haven’t gotten married before 30, you won’t get married anymore is not relevant.
Many men start a family after they reach financial solvency
It is popularly believed that the ideal age to get married is between 28 and 38 years old. Usually by this time the man has already “matured” sexually, financially and psychologically . He recognizes himself as a man and is ready to take responsibility not only for himself, but for his wife and children.
By this age, a man no longer wants to spend time in dubious places, change women like gloves and lead a riotous lifestyle. He already realized that happiness does not lie in women, but in the one and only one whom he will love sincerely and irrevocably .
It is better for a man to marry when he sincerely loves a woman
Another point in favor of later marriages is material wealth . As a rule, after 30 years a man is already firmly on his feet financially and can provide his family with everything necessary.
So, at what age is it better for a guy to get married? At the age when he realizes all the responsibility, he began to earn a normal income and can provide for his family.
Can you accept the shortcomings of your loved one?
We all have our own baggage of good and bad habits, as well as behavioral traits. The good ones always seem wonderful and sweet. But can you put up with the bad ones? Can you calmly tolerate your loved one's snoring?
Can you get used to the fact that he always gets up at 3 am because he is hungry? What if your partner likes to relax after work, while you like to relax only when you've finished all the housework? But what about socks that are always lying around?
This is only a small part of the list of our shortcomings, and you should be sure that you get used to them before you get married, because everyday little things are the main cause of divorce!
How do you know when it's time to get married?
Unlike men, all girls understand that they have little chance of getting married after 35, and having children at this age is fraught with serious health problems. Men, on the contrary, “pull” to the last.
Girls usually set the duration of a relationship before marriage to no more than three years
If after three years the guy does not offer to legalize the relationship, the girl begins to look for another candidate . This sometimes happens subconsciously. Of course, there are exceptions when a woman waits for years for him to “ripe”, but there are not many of them.
How to understand that it's time to get married
Sometimes a man, having reached a certain age, comes to the conclusion that marriage is not beneficial for him. For example, why don't men want to get married after 30? The reason for this may be banal greed and reluctance to share what one has acquired with someone.
