Cheating sometimes occurs even in those couples where there are family values, mutual respect, constructive attitudes and other important aspects for a happy life together. There can be a lot of reasons for this, and it’s too late to wave your fists after a fight. Where can I find evidence of treason, what should I pay close attention to, and what should I ultimately do? Let's go in order...
Does everyone cheat?
Most people are of the opinion that all men cheat on their girlfriends.
According to psychology, men can be categorized into those who can be faithful and those who cannot.
Decent
This guy loves his girlfriend exclusively. He doesn’t even have thoughts of changing, because he has no reason to do so, and generally doesn’t see the point in changing his partner.
The young man realizes his choice of partner and the value of his relationship with her. He believes that it is not acceptable to cheat on his beloved girlfriend.
Coward
Such guys can admit the thought of cheating on their partner, but because of the fear of being discovered and misunderstood, they are afraid to commit this crime. Simply, fear turns out to be stronger than desire.
With low self-esteem
An insecure guy values a girl who pays attention to him. He will always try to be close to her, to please her, out of uncertainty that he will be able to enter into a relationship with someone else. In other words, he becomes henpecked.
Impotent
This category of guys does not physically cheat because they cannot do it.
How to spot your husband's cheating
Changing your own habits without a reasoned reason is the main sign of betrayal. The rival will definitely influence the behavior of the object he desires.
Cheating on a business trip
Life is an unpredictable thing, so no family is safe from an affair.
In this case, the nature of the betrayal on a business trip plays an important role. A woman must understand that with alcohol intoxication or momentary weakness, a one-night stand can occur.
In such a situation, the man will begin to be tormented by what happened, trying to understand the reason for what happened. When he returns, the cheater will surround his deceived but beloved wife with a sea of gifts and an ocean of attention.
Quite often, such a fact of betrayal becomes a way to improve and strengthen the shaky relationship in a couple.
Signs of repeated cheating on a business trip:
- The husband's desire to leave home on important matters,
- Getting ready for another unscheduled business trip is like going to a parade,
- Excellent mood of the spouse upon return,
- Jokes in response to your wife's questions about serious matters.
A marriage can remain strong if the man receives the next dose of adrenaline and the wife’s silent consent. From the outside, the couple will look happy, because everyone is happy with everything.
How to understand that your husband has another woman - signs.
Practice shows that many deceived spouses either start an amorous affair over time, or file for divorce.
When the wife is pregnant
Refusal of physical intimacy with a pregnant spouse is assessed in two ways.
Such behavior can be interpreted as a desire to protect a loved one from the threat of miscarriage. Young dads who are faced with such a delicate situation for the first time are especially panicked.
It is difficult for a pregnant woman, whose emotional background is undergoing serious changes, to come to terms with the changes that are taking place.
In this case, it is best to seek advice from a psychologist and gynecologist, who will advise the spouses on ways out of the current situation.
The situation is worse when such an attitude of the spouse is actually provoked by betrayal, especially repeated ones. Here it is worth thinking carefully about the question of whether you need such a man.
Watch the video. Cheating: to forgive or not?
Cheating with a friend
The biggest blow for a woman is her husband’s betrayal with a friend or relative. The world fades before the eyes of the deceived person from such a double betrayal.
Secret lovers in most situations manage to hide the fact of a love triangle for a long time. A friend, under various pretexts, tries to refuse to get together together. The cheating husband begins to fill the phone book with strange entries, under which the homewrecker may be hiding.
You should not relax even in a situation where a friend starts her own family, because this circumstance does not exclude the possibility of betrayal.
How to return a husband from his mistress to his family if he lives with her?
Not every woman is able to turn a blind eye to the deception of two close people at once. And is it worth forgiving?
Where do thoughts about a partner's infidelity come from?
Popularity with girls
A man can be handsome, charming with a good sense of humor and other positive qualities that attract beautiful ladies. Due to such a large onslaught of potential rivals, the girl admits the idea that, sooner or later, the guy will break down and cheat on her.
Behavior
A young man may unexpectedly change his attitude towards a girl. Or he begins to take excessive care of his appearance. There is aggression, indifference towards the girl, or he constantly hides something, doesn’t say anything, thereby prompting the girl to think that something wrong is going on here.
Low girlish self-esteem
There is such a case - a girl has a complex about herself, is not confident in her own appearance, which is why she believes that her partner will definitely cheat on her, since she is not beautiful enough for him.
Lack of trust
Previously, the young man had already cheated on his girlfriend or showed increased interest in other ladies. Due to this state of affairs, the girl will not have confidence in the young man. From doubts about her chosen one, she will spin unnecessary negative thoughts in her head.
His attitude towards the novel
Often, girls perceive a fleeting romance as a serious relationship. While for a guy, this is nothing more than an ordinary affair. If a girl invites a guy to enter into a serious relationship, and he insists on an open relationship without obligations, then there is a high probability that he will begin to cheat on his friend.
We ask, check and test
If you suspect that your boyfriend has betrayed you, you need to immediately begin an investigation. The main thing is to find out for sure that the guy is cheating and take some action. Depending on the result, you need to decide whether to stay with him or end the relationship.
If by all indications you can find out that the guy has cheated, it’s time to tell him about it. The easiest option is to ask him directly, without any preamble. A direct question will eliminate any remaining doubts, and you will no longer have to look for evidence of his betrayal.
You can ask a guy about cheating in the following way:
- choose a suitable time when he is not busy and at the same time does not expect questions from you;
- explain that you cannot live in worries and guesses, it is better to talk frankly;
- argue for your insistence that there cannot be a relationship if one of the partners cheats;
- When talking, ask your boyfriend to look into his eyes, so it will be difficult for him to tell a lie.
If you are afraid to start such a conversation alone, you can ask a good, mutual friend to support you. But of course it’s better if you two discuss the problem.
Let's find out whether he cheats or not
How to tell if a guy is cheating? To do this, we carry out the following actions:
Talk
This method is the simplest. You need to talk to the guy about the situation. Tell him what you are worried about and ask him to tell the truth. I understand that it is unlikely that he will admit to treason, even if he actually committed it. While answering, pay attention to his facial expressions, gestures, voice timbre and behavior. I think it will be clear to you if he is lying.
If a man starts to get nervous, evade answers, throw accusations or look for excuses, most likely he has already cheated on you or is on the verge of committing such an act.
Actions and words
It is necessary to carefully monitor the guy’s behavior and words spoken. When communicating, he is constantly rude, lies, does not want to spend time alone, does not say anything, most likely you have problems in your relationship.
Ask your friends
The method is far from the best. There is a high probability that friends will shield your friend if you are interested in his communication with other girls. But, if you have mutual friends, in whose honesty and decency you are confident, it’s worth trying your luck.
Rummage through things
The method is low, but in “war” all means are good, and suddenly you find evidence of treason.
Surveillance
Try to follow the guy yourself, keeping your distance, or ask your friends who like secrecy. Perhaps this will bear fruit, and you will find out whether he is cheating on you or not.
Close relations
You can check whether a guy is cheating or not by the following signs related to sexual relations:
- he has sex with you less and less, or the relationship in this regard ends altogether;
- on the contrary, sexual needs have increased;
- many men feel guilty, so they become more attentive and sweet;
- begins to actively help, which was not noticed before;
- constantly asks whether his help is needed;
- gives various presents for no reason.
For many girls, such signs will seem insignificant. But they will help you find out if the guy is cheating.
Signs of betrayal
How to catch a guy cheating? The main signs of betrayal are:
Uncharacteristic behavior
The guy disappears in the evenings, without explanation of motive. He comes up with a reason that is completely inappropriate, without bothering himself with the veracity of the event. He tries to be away from home every weekend. Talks about important regular meetings with friends or delays at work.
Stealth
The guy is never separated from his phone, puts passwords everywhere, and only accesses social networks when he is alone in another room. When talking on the phone, he goes into another room and so on...
Petty lies
With each of his stories, there are more and more reservations and inconsistencies. Begins to get nervous and stammer during conversations.
Coarseness
Quarrels and dissatisfaction with your girlfriend appear more and more often. Starting with appearance, ending with gestures, habits, behavior and so on.
Ignoring
The guy does not hide his ignorance. He clearly shows reluctance to spend time together. Doesn't want to appear with his girlfriend in general companies and at events.
Changes in habits
The guy completely changed his style, habits, and behavior. Something new appears in his sexual life, which was not observed before.
It's not 100% possible that the guy is cheating. Your chosen one, in fact, may have serious problems, and he does not want to burden you with them. These signs should alert the girl. However, do not jump to conclusions until you are 100% sure of your suspicions. Have heart-to-heart conversations more often.
If you want to know how to behave when cheating or more specific signs by which you can understand that you are really being cheated on, then read this article.
Now, share your thoughts in the comments, how can you expose a traitor?
How to understand that a man is cheating on you
Let’s immediately make a reservation that there is no single universal sign that helps you understand whether a guy is deceiving you or not. However, if a girl is observant, she will see that there are things that simply scream about the presence of betrayal!
Uncharacteristic behavior
A change in behavior, attitude towards a companion, or communication is the first signal of male infidelity. If a guy has become sharply distant, cold, absent-minded, and stingy with compliments, think about it. Or, on the contrary, men suddenly become unusually caring and tender: they praise their chosen one, give flowers and gifts for no reason, are overly protective, arrange romantic dates, etc. If you are wondering: “How does a man behave after cheating?” Know that this is exactly the case! Psychologists call this term compensation for guilt...
Pay attention to whether the guy’s vocabulary has changed, whether new words are popping up in the conversation, or whether the manner of delivery has changed? Usually, lovers adopt the communication style (accent) of the person they are interested in; this happens unconsciously. Particularly anxious individuals who have allowed themselves to be unfaithful begin to groundlessly attack their legitimate companion, suspect her of something, accuse her, be jealous, etc. Sometimes partners completely change in terms of communication: talkers suddenly begin to mumble something incomprehensible, while silent ones turn into incoherent chatterboxes.
If a man has always been a homebody, but now he doesn’t miss a single corporate event, he asks to walk the dog, runs to neighboring cafes for a delicious dinner - this is a clear sign of a cheating man. Or the other extreme: before you couldn’t ask him to stay at home, but now he’s strangely busy with the housework, helping the children with their homework, enthusiastically planning a weekend together with his other half... This is how men, after cheating, try to hide the fact of having another woman, compensating for the betrayal by spending time together.
Changes in intimate life
Sexual life, or rather, changes in it, is another clear way to learn about male infidelity. Psychologists say that men who have a mistress become more “hungry” for their woman. This is explained by the fact that due to sexual demand, at first he feels an emotional uplift, a surge of strength and vigor. However, in practice this is rare.
Mostly guys who cheat lose interest in their regular partner. Sex happens less and less, and if it does happen, it happens quickly, automatically, with no foreplay, with the lights off, without excessive emotionality. If earlier your partner tried to give you numerous orgasms, now this zeal is not observed.
Also pay attention to the process itself. If a man complains about fatigue, the sexual organ does not erect on the first try, the act lasts longer than usual, the process seems endlessly long, tense, difficult, know that the man has already had sex the day before. As a result, he may irritably interrupt contact altogether, complaining of a lack of mood (a hard day, feeling unwell). This is how the male body works, so guys, unlike women, cannot physically simulate in this aspect. If you notice something like this, watch your partner as you get closer. Usually, guys have everything on their face: it’s exhausted, tense, devoid of joy, their eyes dart around indifferently.
Pay attention to unusual changes in your sex life. Unfaithful guys may suddenly start using condoms, pick on a girl because of her stiffness (excess body hair), or introduce new positions in which they behave confidently and skillfully.
Unreasonable mood swings
Not only behavior, but also groundless mood changes will help you understand that a guy is cheating on you. This can be observed in everything: everyday life, interpersonal relationships, communication, etc.
Changes will be visible when you know your partner's character well. If a guy is phlegmatic in life, then having an affair on the side, he will become cheerful and perky. You can see him humming something under his breath, smiling for no reason, and looking dreamily somewhere. And vice versa, an optimistic sanguine person suddenly becomes rude, upset, impatient and angry, although there is nothing conducive to this either at home or at work.
There are men who deliberately provoke women into quarrels, because after them you can safely leave. Therefore, do not be surprised if your partner suddenly becomes systematically dissatisfied, irritated, and secretive. More and more often, reproaches, criticism, and pointing out shortcomings pour out of his mouth. This suggests that you are losing to the one with whom your lover is cheating on you.
Special attitude towards the phone (computer)
Men are inept conspirators, so the first thing you can do to catch them in treason is their reverent attitude towards their own phone, laptop, tablet and personal space. It’s impossible not to notice this!
If previously the gadget quietly lay on the bed all day, now it will become a guy’s constant companion even in the toilet. A password and silent mode will definitely appear on it; call and message histories will be deleted. You will notice that when there is any notification, the guy may get nervous, wince, and anxiously take out his phone. The guys who are cheating talk, usually in other rooms, arguing that this is “important”, business conversations. Phrases are fragmentary, dry, the companion listens more than speaks, conversations are short. Sometimes “for work” they may call him in the evenings, or even at night. The partner is often unavailable outside the home (the connection was not received, the battery was discharged) or simply “does not hear” calls.
The same thing happens with a laptop. If earlier you calmly used one account (a single account on social networks) and knew each other’s passwords, then in this regard the chosen one changes radically. Observing his device and behavior will help you understand that a man is cheating: he has set up a separate account (mailbox, page), has several profiles on social networks, gets worried when he sees you, closes the browser and minimizes all windows, slams the laptop, forbids use it (explaining that an important file from work is waiting).
The guy not only restricts the girl’s access to his devices, but becomes literally aggressive, demanding the right to personal space.
Lifestyle change
If you think that only girls, when they fall in love, begin to take care of themselves, this is a gross misconception. Guys, too, being carried away by a beautiful person, change their lifestyle, habits, tastes, and appearance. So take a closer look if suddenly your man demands a vegetable salad for dinner instead of fried potatoes, runs to the gym, gives up his favorite beer, becomes interested in a new musical direction, becomes interested in Asian cuisine, etc.
Notice whether unusual features have appeared in your partner’s style? Guys who cheat on their significant other always try to look 100%. They buy themselves a popular fragrance, grow a beard for the sake of fashion (or vice versa, start shaving every day), wear expensive underwear instead of cheap family panties, prefer expensive jeans or elegant trousers to sweatpants, change the brand of cigarettes. They take out things that they didn’t need before: a leather belt, a wallet, a massive watch, a gold chain.
The main alarm bell is that the guy will be annoyed by something that previously suited you. “This dress doesn’t suit you,” “Do you want to pump up your butt a little?”, “Stop cooking fatty foods,” “Throw away that perfume, it’s too cloying.” At the same time, the companion becomes a neat neat person: he polishes his shoes, diligently irons his shirts, and cleans his nails.
Other indirect and direct signs
In addition to the above signs, there are other obvious signs that help determine that a guy is deceiving and cheating on you:
- Always busy. A man who cheats on his chosen one is constantly looking for excuses for dating. “I’m swamped with work (study)”, “Parents asked for help”, “A friend threw a bachelor party”, “Tired (didn’t get enough sleep, headache).” If you already live in the same area, the guy will be late from work, stand in traffic jams for a long time, meet friends in bars, etc.
- Changes in the car. A woman who is being cheated on may notice a new key fob, a changed position of the passenger seat, a rotated mirror, and cleanliness in the cabin. Put the chair back “under you”, and after a couple of days check if it has changed again!
- Financial waste. Courting another girl requires money, so in response to her questions about the lack of finances, a woman may hear in response a man’s stories about fines, delayed salaries, helping a friend, buying expensive gifts for parents, etc.
- Unusual items in pockets/purse. Strange business cards (beauty salons, jewelry stores, discount cards for a sushi bar), a pack of condoms, a lighter (and the guy doesn’t smoke), etc.
- Amazing gifts. Male psychology is such that representatives of the stronger sex do not particularly like to distinguish between gifts for their wife and mistress. So if you’ve been receiving “useful” souvenirs for the holidays for five years, and suddenly you’re rewarded with a box of chic underwear, pay attention to this.
- New acquaintances. A guy who cheats on his girlfriend inevitably makes new friends with whom he spends a lot of time. Don't be surprised if after a while you hear about Kostya, with whom you can have fun.
To check from a distance whether a guy is cheating on you, listen to the voice of your chosen one. Typically, men, in addition to inconsistencies in conversation, cannot control their timbre and manner of communication. You may notice trembling in the voice, uncertainty, confusion, feigned indifference (fun), tension, long pauses.
Ways to recognize your husband's infidelity
There are three popular methods that will help you catch a cheater at home. They are based not on scientific research, but on everyday psychology. However, in case of infidelity and remorse, at least one will surely work.
Let's consider a way to determine the betrayal of an unfaithful husband by empty testicles. To do this you will need a bath filled with water. You need to prepare it in advance, but there is no need to add foam or substances that color the liquid. For a more believable legend, prepare dinner, light scented candles and take out the massage oil. It is better to choose the end of a difficult work week for a surprise. The husband, upon entering home, will smell the cooked food. Warn that you have prepared another surprise in the bathroom - a relaxing massage.
Go into the bathroom with your spouse, wait until he undresses and gets into the water. Keep an eye on your testicles. If they float up, it means there was sex during the current day, but if they remain below the water level, then there is nothing to worry about.
The second method is ancient fortune telling. Talk about what you suspect of infidelity, and then talk about the ancient recipe for determining fidelity. To do this, you will need your husband's underpants (preferably dark) and a basin of water. The essence is to soak the suspect's underwear in ordinary water with a special curse, which will reveal treason. The result will be visible in the morning: if the water remains clean, the husband is clean; if it turns pink, there has been cheating.
At night, when your spouse is fast asleep, throw a few grains of potassium permanganate into the basin. If you find in the morning that your husband has changed the water, it means he is lying about fidelity. If the rose water remains standing, try to talk.
Perhaps the spouse did not believe in witchcraft and did not take precautions, but colored water could influence and force him to confess.
The third method is chili pepper, which you need to spread on your partner’s panties. If your husband makes a complaint, explain that the pod accidentally fell on his underwear. However, this will show that loyalty has been maintained. If she remains silent about the discomfort in the groin area, it means there is another woman. This is a surefire way to test a man.
Comments:
- 01.09.2018
Lisa:
I realized that my husband was cheating on me by his behavior, and my intuition also did not disappoint. He became indifferent to me and the children. He even looked at me like I was a second-class citizen - condescendingly.
- 08.11.2018
Olya:
All people are different, there are men who can masterfully deceive, and you won’t see anyone’s sign. In addition, do not forget that a woman in love is ready to believe in everything.
- 16.11.2018
Lera:
First of all, you need to find out whether there are objective reasons for distrust of your husband; often women behave like hysterics due to past negative experiences. Not all men cheat and cheat.
- 23.12.2018
Julia:
It seems to me that every woman who has lived with a man for more than one year will feel when he begins to move away from her.
- 11.06.2020
Anna:
If your husband cheats, the hairdresser will definitely not help and nothing will help. This means that the relationship has outlived its usefulness and you need to stop, think about life and yourself. You have to go through this no matter how painful it is, you have to suffer through it. But after this, you can and should go to the hairdresser, and to the shops for new outfits, and then new relationships are possible. And the ex-husband holds the flag in his hands and happiness in his personal life.
