After breaking up, some couples remain enemies. It would seem that not so long ago a man and a woman loved each other and were happy. But due to conflicts of interest, betrayal and other reasons, they began to hate each other. After a divorce, many spouses wage wars to the death.
The ex-wife and husband strive with all their might to prove that they are right and superior. They take revenge on each other, but in the end, only the common child, watching what is happening from the side, suffers. In this case, it is he who becomes the hostage of one of the parents.
A father or mother can kidnap a child and take him to an unknown direction. Often children are also hidden behind high fences of country estates. What to do if the father stole the child?
Can a father take a child without the mother's consent?
If the mother and father of a joint child no longer want to live together in a shared apartment or house, then they file for divorce. Children often suffer due to this difficult situation.
During a lengthy court process, parents must decide which of them will have their baby after the divorce papers are completed. It is also important to determine how the baby will communicate with the other party. The most important thing is the comfort and mental state of the child.
As you know, the separation of beloved parents is a serious psychological trauma for every child, especially small ones. Due to his age, the baby does not quite understand why mom and dad no longer want to be together. He begins to think that he is the reason.
In most of these situations, parents have to seek help from professionals, since we are talking about childhood psychological trauma. During a divorce, there are a variety of situations. Sometimes the mother of a minor child is not trustworthy. She doesn’t look after the child at all, doesn’t buy him food or clothes, and refuses to care for the baby.
Some unscrupulous mothers leave their child completely alone and live the way they want. These women care little about the needs of the baby. Even if the court has decided that the baby remains with the mother, the father has the right to take the child with him.
This is permissible if the child cannot continue to stay with such a mother. There is a possibility that he may suffer not only psychologically, but also physically. This is due to the fact that the unfortunate mother does not monitor her child at all.
It should be noted that according to the law, divorced parents are not exempt from the responsibility to care for their offspring . That is why, if the mother refuses to properly fulfill her basic maternal responsibilities, the father has the right to take the children away from her. A negligent mother can go to court.
Most likely, she will not be able to win this process. There are guardianship authorities that put the interests of children above all else. They can start their own investigation. After this, they give an opinion to the court, which states with whom it is better for the child to live after the parents’ divorce.
If the mother is unable to provide proper care for the baby, as well as when she abuses alcohol and does not have a regular income, then she may be deprived of parental rights.
Children stay with their father, especially if he is truly trustworthy. But does the father have the right to take his own child from kindergarten, school or group without telling the mother about it? According to current legislation, he has the right to do so.
Of course, if he is not deprived of parental rights. But as a human being, this should not be done. When a man is angry with his ex-wife, he cares little about the feelings of the child. This suggests that dad simply does not love his child.
In this situation, such an act can be regarded either as monstrous, unforgivable irresponsibility, or a banal desire to bring as much suffering and pain to one’s former lover as possible. Some fathers take advantage of their right to see their child and take him away for the weekend without the mother's consent.
This behavior is completely unacceptable. Civilized people try to come to an agreement with each other in such a way as to traumatize children as little as possible by the decision to break off relations.
They don’t always understand why mom and dad break up. After a divorce, children have to exist without mom or dad, who are forced to live separately. It is very sad when a child becomes a bargaining chip in the parents’ efforts to prove something to each other.
And if a mother comes to a preschool institution and is told that someone has already taken her child, she can contact the police so that they can find him.
Father accused of stealing a child explains his actions
February 5, 2021, 18:58 - Public News Service - OSN Fathers who are ready to take on all the responsibilities of caring for a child are a rarity. Much more often we hear stories where dads kidnap their offspring to annoy their ex-wives. The public news service told the story of Anna Kudryavtseva, whose ex-husband took away her 4-year-old son. Despite the court's decision, the child lives with his father Alexei Sharovatov. However, the ex-husband has his own version of this story.
How we were separated from our son
Anna was registered at the Tver PND in 2013, and was then diagnosed with “asthenic disorder in a person with dissociative traits.” She was recognized as mentally healthy, but her depression was constantly replaced by unmotivated aggression. Over time, Anna's attacks of aggression became more frequent; they were mainly directed at me and her youngest son (the eldest, however, also suffered). In the end, it became clear that everything was hopeless and we had to break up.
At the end of March 2021, Vova and I came home from my grandmother to Balashikha. The apartment was destroyed, all things were taken out, curtains were damaged, chandeliers were cut off. There is no wife or older child. I even called the police, deciding that there had been a theft. The next day I took Vova to kindergarten, and he disappeared - his wife picked him up and took him away.
I arrived in Tver on April 3 and was able to take a walk with my son, despite protests and reluctance. During the walk, Vova asked to take him home. I still hoped for Anna's prudence and tried to talk to her. But my wife began to chase me away, push me into the elevator car, then began to drag me into my son’s apartment. Vova resisted, cried, called me. His ex-wife left him on the landing and went into the apartment. My four-year-old son was sitting on the steps and quietly whining: “Dad, why did you leave, dad, come, come get me.” And I stood on the landing on the floor below, my heart was breaking, but I didn’t know what to do.
How I took my son
Anna herself filed a claim in the Tver city court for a divorce and determination of Vova’s place of residence with her. She didn’t tell me where the child was. In May 2021, in another attempt to find a child, I ended up at my mother-in-law’s dacha in Vyshny Volochyok. My son rushed to me.
...It all ended very badly for us. Anna, her mother and neighbors attacked me: they beat me, tore me from the child’s arms. As a result, I received a concussion, and Vova was again taken away at night in an unknown direction. They called the police department and the police. The PDN inspector said that if you cannot figure it out yourself, then I will take the child to an orphanage. To which Anna calmly replied: “I’d rather give him to an orphanage than him.”
Anna hid the child from me for two months. All this time I was looking for Vova. I found him in June, at my wife’s uncle’s dacha. Anna and the child went to the river, and hurried after them. When I saw my son naked and alone in the dirty water, I felt sick. I called him, he extended his little hands to me, I took him and his clothes and took him home. An acquaintance of mine was with me, whom I asked to help me in the search in order to avoid a repetition of what happened in Vyshny Volochyok. He later acted as a witness in court.
The child was in a terrible condition. Pale, exhausted. He spent almost all of these two months in the car, endlessly moving from place to place. Twitchy, uncontrollable. We had to go to the doctors.
Alexey Sharovatov with his son Vova.
Settlement agreement
While the trial was ongoing, Anna filed for a settlement at the end of autumn. I agreed for the child to live with me and for me to fully provide for him. Her mother has a two-room apartment in Tver, where her grandmother, a bedridden invalid, lived. It was impossible to live there: there was a grandmother in one room, an ex-wife with two children in another, and her mother in the kitchen. I decided that Anna probably realized that she did not have the opportunity to raise, support and create normal conditions for two children.
You ask how can I work and take care of my child alone? And also like mothers who raise their children without fathers. Why doesn't anyone ask them this question? I have a free schedule, I took my son to the kindergarten and picked him up. For a year and a half, no one could say that the child was unkempt or neglected. On the contrary, in kindergarten the teachers said that if they didn’t know the situation, they would never have thought that we lived together.
But the following March, she took the child as part of a settlement and disappeared again. I tried to get through, asking for an opportunity to talk to my son. I received only one SMS in response. Anna wrote that she would not give up the child, that she didn’t give a damn about all the agreements and she “cancels the court’s decision,” especially since there is now a coronavirus. I warned that I had rented an apartment next to their house in Tver and that I wanted to at least go for a walk with my son. As soon as Anna found out about this, she immediately disappeared from the city with the child. She referred to the danger of a pandemic.
Vova, run!
Her eldest son had a birthday in May. We usually celebrated the holiday in the same place, and I went there in the hope of seeing my child. My appearance came as a complete surprise to Anna. The ex-wife began shouting to Vova: “Run!” Vova ran, fell, and cried. I ran up to him and took him in my arms. I said, "Let's go home." And my wife attacked me, began to tear the child away, not paying attention to his screams, scratched my face, and tore my jacket. But Vova and I left anyway.
Later I found out that my wife’s grandmother died, her living space became vacant, and she again began to demand “the return of her son.” In July, Vova and I went to Crimea, and my ex-wife organized a whole scenario with provocation. She, once again, wanted to take her son away by force, which she herself told about in court.
When we returned from vacation, at the trial everyone, including the judge, attacked me with the words: “Why did you violate the settlement agreement, and the mother did not see the child for two months.” I reminded her that it was Anna who violated the settlement agreement. To which I was told: she is a mother and she can be violated, but you cannot. Interesting concepts in Tver about laws and legal proceedings.
During the entire time he lived at home, Vova never expressed a desire to leave with his mother for Tver, but I persuaded him to go on weekends. My son lived with me throughout the working week. Back in 2021, the guardianship of the city of Balashikha made a reasonable and motivated conclusion that in the interests of a minor child, he needs to live with his father. And the Tver guardianship made a decision only on formal grounds that the living conditions for the child were “satisfactory.” But what did they satisfy?
Judicial and fateful cases
However, Anna persistently tries to take the child, still without a clear explanation of the reasons. She says: “No one cares what the child says, he should live with me, I am the mother.” Yes, as it turned out, no one cares.
The trial in the Tverskoy court lasted a year and a half. Finally, on September 22, 2021, the court not only decided to hand over the child to the mother and ordered the payment of child support even from the moment the child lived with me, but also ordered this to be done immediately. I was not even given the opportunity to appeal the decision. Of course, I did not agree with this decision, and I will continue to defend my rights and the rights of my son.
If the father took the child from the mother, what to do?
If the parents are divorced, but the father still loves his child, then you need to calmly agree on a schedule of visits with the baby. A father has the right to communicate with his child. While defending justice, we should not forget about the mother’s feelings.
There is no need to steal children from kindergarten without her consent. In such cases, a man is often guided not by love for the child, but by revenge. A good mother, after discovering that her baby has been stolen, will immediately look for him with the help of police officers. But whether after this there will be an opportunity to peacefully agree with her about seeing the child is unknown.
As noted earlier, if the father stole a child together from his ex-wife without prior warning, then the mother has the right to contact law enforcement agencies demanding that the baby be returned to her immediately.
Such disputes are considered in court. The latter determines whether dad will be allowed to see his child or not. During the case, you will need to find out the child’s opinion. His interests are necessarily taken into account.
Moreover, after reaching the age of ten, the child has the right to express his personal opinion on many things. He can also decide for himself with whom he wants to live at the present time.
The husband takes the child - what to do?
The best way out for a mother in such a situation would be to take into account the opinion of a child over 10 years old. Indeed, in this case, it may be possible to maintain a good relationship with him. Otherwise, the situation will reach the point of absurdity and the child will simply run away to his father. Consequently, parents will have to reconsider in court the issue related to the child’s place of residence.
In fact, this will already constitute the abduction of a child, but cannot be qualified under Art. 126 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. The reason is the lack of selfish intent in the actions of the father who takes away his child. After all, the parent believes that he is acting in the interests of the child. Moreover, the age of a young person is of secondary importance, since for persons under 10 years old. Art. 57 of the RF IC is not applicable, and for persons older than this age, the article contains a reference to “taken into account” and is countered “if this does not contradict his interests.” Such an interesting Article 57 of the Family Code essentially gives equal opportunities to both mother and father (as well as the court and guardianship authorities) to arbitrarily interpret the situation and the child’s opinion about it.
What to do if your common-law husband stole a child?
In this case, it is important to find out whether the common-law spouse is the legal father of the child. If he is recorded on the baby’s birth certificate, then it should be understood that by law he has the right to take part in the upbringing.
In a situation where the mother does not know the whereabouts of her daughter or son, she can file a complaint with the police . It's about kidnapping. The application should include all detailed information on the specified fact.
If you know for sure that the baby is with the father, you need to write about it. If there is complete inaction of law enforcement officers, then you need to complain to higher management. You still need to contact the prosecutor's office. Only in this way will the application bring positive results.
If the former cohabitant is not included in the birth certificate as the father of a daughter or son, then the first step is to provide the police with evidence that the child is being illegally retained. When the father is documented, then according to the law one should file a lawsuit to determine the child’s place of residence.
It should be understood that the father, just like the mother, has equal rights in relation to his son or daughter. That is why any decisions related to the upbringing and maintenance of the baby must be made together.
Father takes child from kindergarten without mother's knowledge
The law establishes the rights of parents after divorce. The rights of the father and mother to the child are the same:
- Right to information about the child
This means that each parent has the right to receive complete information about his child from the educational, educational, medical institution in which he is being raised, trained, or treated.
Note: refusal to provide such information is possible only if its disclosure poses a threat to the life and health of the child.
- The right to unhindered communication with the child
If the other parent or strangers interfere with communication between the parent and the child, this right can be defended in court.
- The right to consent or refuse consent for a child to travel abroad
Although this right is not established by family law, but by the law on the procedure for leaving and entering the country, it allows each parent to determine the location of their child and control his movement within and outside the country. This right applies to cases where...
- the purpose of the trip is to change the child’s permanent place of residence - another state instead of the Russian Federation;
- the trip takes place without the accompaniment of a second parent.
The right of a parent to agree or not to allow a child to leave the state does not apply to cases where the child goes on a temporary trip with the other parent.
Yes, according to Article 55 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation 1. The child has the right to communicate with both parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters and other relatives. The dissolution of the parents' marriage, its recognition as invalid or the parents' separation do not affect the rights of the child. But, in cases where the former spouses cannot find a compromise and agree on meeting schedules, you can contact the district court at the child’s location and agree on a schedule of communication with the child. The court will make a decision, which all participants in the irreconcilable confrontation will have to comply with.
Hello! The situation is that you have the same rights to communicate with your child, including overnight stays. Determining the place of residence with you in court means that the child permanently or primarily lives with you.
If you are not satisfied with what time and where the father takes the child, then I recommend going to court with an application to establish a procedure for communication with the child. Taking into account the fact that the child is small, we can safely insist that overnight stays outside the home are not permissible, however, these are very complex issues and many factors must be taken into account (how attached the child is to the father, whether the father’s place of residence is familiar to the child and how he behaves feels there, etc.).
If the father does not notify you when he picks up the child from the kindergarten and leaves him to spend the night with him, you can safely contact the police with a statement about the missing child, in the future this will be evidence that the father is acting without your consent and notification. Also, if you intend to go to court to determine the order of communication, pay attention to what mood the child comes after the father, whether he is hungry, tidy, whether the father brings the child to kindergarten on time, if the child’s health worsens after spending the night with the father (colds, poisoning etc.) be sure to seek medical attention. help.
However, it is worth considering that a child has the right to be raised and communicate with two parents and should not be deprived of this. Try to agree with dad on the days and times of communication with the child and secure this with a notarial agreement, this is the most civilized, painless way for all participants.
- The right to unhindered communication with the child
What does the law say?
The Family Code states that mother and father have equal rights in relation to their common children (Article 61). What is meant by parental rights? First of all, this is the right of a parent to raise a child, represent his interests before the state and other persons, communicate, live together, and provide financial support. In the event of a divorce, it is not entirely possible for one of the parents to fully exercise their rights, since the child remains to live with someone alone.
In Russia, the practice is that after a divorce, children remain in the care of the mother, and the father can see the child at an agreed time, communicate, and help him financially.
Parents make mutual decisions about where their children will live. But if there is a conflict between them and they cannot decide with whom the baby will live, the dispute is brought before the court. This body is authorized to decide with whom the child will be better and more comfortable.
Important: The court may leave the child in the care of the father if the mother is disadvantaged: she abuses alcohol, does not work, does not have housing or living conditions.
So, if a child stays with his mother, then his father has every right to communicate with him, see him, and take him home. Of course, the procedure for participation in raising the child must be agreed upon or determined by a court decision if the parents were unable to agree.
Therefore, the situation when the ex-husband took the child to his place is twofold: on the one hand, the father is not doing anything illegal, on the other hand, it is necessary to take into account the circumstances under which this happened.
Detective agency gives advice to mothers in the war for children
As in martial arts, the war for a child has its own weight categories. We are talking about the thickness of parental wallets. Disputes over a child's place of residence are rarely started by ordinary workers. A man with average earnings will quite agree to the role of “Sunday dad”, provided that the mother is completely adequate. As a rule, militant fathers have a powerful financial and administrative resource behind them. Your ex-spouse probably has the ability to hire the best lawyers, detectives, journalists and other necessary people. Such a father can easily bribe the police, guardianship authorities, not to mention the nanny or the child’s class teacher. It will not be difficult for him to annoy your loved ones, destroy your business, ruin your career, even hire hooligans to intimidate you. Understand: a financial resource in the war for a child is no longer just money. These are the cartridges that your ex-husband will not regret for you.
Most of the women who contact us share the same mistake. At first, they did not attach much importance to the ex-husband’s attempts to get a child. Mothers usually reason like this: “I am mentally healthy, not an alcoholic, not a drug addict. Who would dare take my child away from me?” According to the logic of these women, circumstances are in their favor - which means there is no need to spend money on a lawyer or go to court. But believe me, you should not underestimate your opponent and rely on Themis’s tradition of taking the woman’s side. Many mothers got burned because of this. Even a court decision made in your favor and entered into force is not yet a reason to relax. The ex-husband can simply violate this very decision by taking the child for himself without asking and then, for example, taking him abroad. And for this he will get practically nothing.
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