Home and real breadwinners
At the dawn of civilization, every person knew his purpose from the very development. Only the strongest, strongest and bravest men could achieve success. Their responsibilities included obtaining food and ensuring the safety of their family. Primitive women chose the one who was ready to bring the mammoth into the cave. The ladies themselves dutifully accepted the role of homemaker. They expressed their love for men in caring for their spouse and children, organizing their daily lives and doing household chores.
Some relationship experts suggest that many of us still instinctively perceive men as breadwinners and women as submissive housewives. But is this relevant in our time?
Where Do Doubts Come From?
Even ordinary modern women often earn the same as men. However, according to an established tradition, a cocktail in a bar, a taxi and a trip to the Maldives are paid for by the stronger sex, while the weaker sex bats their eyelashes, gets capricious and puts their unspent salary into an individual deposit account. That is why many men today - namely 45% - are seriously convinced that it is time to reconsider the question of who supports whom and how much.
The most amazing thing is that 15% of women absolutely agree with them! They do not want to be kept women and even in marriage they want to pay their own bills. The remaining 85% are outraged to the core. “You are a man - you must!”, and they argue for this attitude, developed over centuries, by extracting articles from the Family Code - emancipation, gentlemen, everyone is legally savvy!
By the way, if we talk about the legal side of the issue, I immediately remember the daring status of one account on social networks: “Everything that I owe is spelled out in the tax legislation, what I should not do is in the Criminal Code. The rest depends on mood and circumstances.” A little boorish, but very true characterizes the position of many men, the existence of which is largely the fault of women themselves.
Sometimes ladies are so worried that they will be left without a roof over their heads, a car and alimony, covering not only the child’s food and education, but also their mother’s spas, that even before marriage they do everything to ensure that the divorce takes place. It’s not like I don’t want to provide this kind of thing.
But there are also enough men who use the stereotype “All women are bitches, they just want money,” and do not pay anything at all. Such a categorical refusal of any obligations does not indicate offended male pride and mental wounds, but only an unwillingness to take responsibility, an unpreparedness for a serious relationship.
These are all extremes, of course. Ideally, I would like that in a relationship the question would not arise at all about what benefits a man should provide to a woman, and what can be done without. It would be better if he understood everything himself and did it from the bottom of his heart. But such functions are more likely to appear in a new version of the iPhone than in a living male person. Therefore, let’s return to reality and talk like a man about a serious topic - what is the direct responsibilities of a male partner and why.
Psychologists are convinced that, despite some shake-ups and changes in society, a man and a woman should not change roles. A man is a strong link, protection and provider. A woman is a weak principle, peace and the keeper of the hearth. If you change their places, chaos, misunderstanding and conflicts will ensue, because the essence of man, inherent in nature, will be distorted.
A real man in the modern world
In the modern world, in order to provide for himself and his family, a man does not need to risk his life every day and look for mammoths. It is enough to work and develop in your chosen professional field. Not bad conditions, right?
For his own realization, a man must work and earn money. Failure to comply with this condition is a clear sign of degradation. A real man must create comfortable living conditions for himself and his chosen one. Another of his duties is to provide for his offspring. This also applies to the maintenance of children in the event of a divorce from their mother. It is curious, but in the modern world many families still adhere to patriarchal views, to the point that the men in them do not allow their wives to work.
What complaints can a working man have against his wife?
According to many men, they should be the breadwinners in the family. To recognize a drone in yourself who lives at the expense of his wife means killing the man in the family. It’s a shame to be an opportunist, it’s a shame to eat for your wife’s money, because a real man won’t have a bite in his throat, even if his wife herself doesn’t reproach him for anything.
And yet, men who conscientiously raise finances for the family often have complaints against their wives, and most often these accusations are fair.
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Wife doesn't do anything around the house
Yes, the man is the breadwinner, but she is the housewife! Many women who get married justify their laziness this way:
I am married, which means I am married to my husband! Behind the stone wall! And I myself am a weak woman!
So is there really supposed to be ruins and desolation behind the stone wall? To justify your laziness by being tired because of crazy children is at least unfair. The husband, coming home from work, is also tired and hungry, and if he has hard physical labor, then he is generally ready to collapse at the door.
So if you think that your husband should provide money for his family, then be kind and provide him with a satisfying and comfortable life. He must be well-groomed and kindly treated by you, especially if you yourself are sitting at home, even with children. From the article Responsibilities of a Husband and Wife you will learn what you absolutely cannot shirk from.
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No matter how much money you bring, it’s not enough for her
Claims about a man’s low earnings most often come from wives who gave birth to their first child. Oddly enough, the more desired children are born, the less the woman makes claims:
- a woman already knows how to correctly calculate the family budget;
- a man tries to earn more, realizing his responsibility;
- savings can even be in things from an older child to a younger one.
But while the wife is young and inexperienced, she has many requests, sometimes completely unreasonable, that go against the capabilities of the family budget:
The child needs a branded stroller with a cool chassis and a “book” mechanism, otherwise the child will be uncomfortable in another one. And definitely pink! Expensive? Let's take it on credit!
The child needs clothes from famous brands, and not some consumer goods from the store. Let's order online - it's more reliable and there's no need to run around!
The child needs super toys - sensory, electronic, music books and sorters. No stupid cubes or tumblers.
But the child doesn’t need this - neither a chassis on a stroller, nor a jacket from Cardin, his mother needs it for the farce and to make others jealous. And it is precisely these “stupid” cubes and tumblers that develop children’s imagination, and not electronic machines that think for the baby.
If you think that a man should support the family, then learn to live within your means: divide the “boot” throughout the entire period until the husband brings new “boot.” Otherwise, your claims will be groundless, since he cannot support his family any other way.
The wife complains about her husband's constant employment
Unfortunately, it is not yet possible to clone husbands. Either he has a job, or even two, to provide for his family, or he needs to be more modest in his desires. Lots of work - not enough husband and father. He also gets tired: he comes and sleeps. The brain signal is blocked by the senses, nothing can be done.
If he is not lazy, goes to work regularly, and the family is prosperous, albeit without excesses, then there should be no complaints. He must support his wife and children - so he supports them.
And if there was a drone, you would be looking for an answer to another question: What to do if the husband does not provide for the family. Read this article and you will understand that everything is not so bad for you.
Money is a sign of a serious relationship
You can often hear from progressive women about their reluctance to depend financially on their man. In fact, not a single representative of the fair sex will refuse gifts and other material manifestations of affection. Expensive gifts from a man are almost always a sign of the seriousness of his intentions. When he is truly in love, he would actually buy the moon from the sky for his chosen one if it were on sale.
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For a real woman, a gift is always a sign of attention. Any representative of the fair sex will be pleased to receive a present from a man. It's important to understand that these courtesies don't have to be expensive. Movie tickets, a bouquet of daisies and a box of chocolates are great gifts at the very beginning of a relationship. It’s not for nothing that this period is called the candy-bouquet period.
Reasons for stopping paying alimony to a spouse
According to the law, alimony payments can be terminated if such life circumstances occur.
- The child has reached the age of three years.
- The wife remarried.
- One of the spouses died.
- The husband lost the ability to pay alimony - he lost his job, became disabled, and retired. In this case, he must notify the court about this by filing a statement to terminate the collection.
- The payment period, which was established in court, has ended.
- The spouse, who was unable to work, has recovered and can earn money independently.
- The woman began to regularly receive financial assistance from relatives or other sources.
The issue of supporting the mother of common children during a divorce is an extremely fragile substance in legal terms. The legislation does not clearly define either the amount of payments or the duration of the marriage, subject to which this or that norm comes into force. It is also not entirely clear whether the husband is obliged to support his wife after a divorce or whether he can do this based on his capabilities. Therefore, the ultimate outcome of the hearing depends on the position of the judge, precedents in the region where the case is being heard and on the evidence presented by the parties.
Real women
Suppose a real man in the modern world still remains a breadwinner. What is the role of women under such conditions? If the family budget consists entirely or mostly of the husband's income, the wife should contribute to the relationship. This includes taking care of your spouse and children, cooking, maintaining order in the house and solving other household issues.
Moreover, if the home is a woman’s sphere of responsibility, the man must satisfy all her material needs. It is not without reason that they say that a family is happy where the wife does not know where the money comes from, and the husband does not know where it goes. The need to constantly replenish the family budget stimulates a man to develop and strive to increase his income. If a woman has a stable financial situation, she becomes happier, and this has a positive effect on relationships.
What is marriage?
Photo by news.tut.by
These are, first of all, obligations assumed that are shared by husband and wife. This is a man's responsibility. This is a woman’s willingness to entrust herself to him.
Moreover, what’s funny is that a woman is always ready to fulfill future obligations, but a man often needs to rethink a lot of things, understand, and dare to accept responsibility.
Sometimes we wait a long time to make an offer because we are afraid of responsibility. Well, or they’re not sure that they’re ready to take responsibility for this woman specifically. It happens.
Entering into official relations is a separate topic; I will not focus on it now.
So, marriage is about responsibility and commitment.
European standards
In many European countries in the modern world, it is no longer customary for a man to fully provide for his chosen one. A popular model of relationships here is in which both spouses earn approximately the same and at the same time divide household responsibilities in half. For example, even a father can take maternity leave to care for a child.
Which form of family budget to choose? This is a purely individual question. Even before the wedding, future spouses must agree on their roles in their future family life. Each of them has the right to their own opinion in this matter. Only in this case will reality not disappoint expectations. And both partners will receive complete satisfaction from the relationship.
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