The rite of debunking in the Orthodox Church: is it possible or not?

Is it possible to get married in church?

Despite the fact that the church does not approve of divorce and family breakdown, since during the wedding people take an oath of fidelity for life, there is still such a thing as debunking. Let's consider how you can debunk a marriage and whether it is possible. There is no special procedure for carrying out such a procedure. However, there are no clearly established deadlines and rites of debunking.

Wedding is one of the most beautiful and mysterious procedures

However, the church identifies the main reasons for which debunking takes place. These include:

• infidelity of one of the spouses;
• serious illness;
• mental illness;
• death;
• the absence of one of the spouses for more than five years (recognized as missing);
• imprisonment (more than three years);
• conclusion of a second marriage;
• accepting another faith;
• inability to have children;
• marriage between relatives;
• abortion without medical indications;
• excessive use of alcohol and drugs.

Interesting information! Thus, there is no definite answer to the question of whether it is possible to debunk. Since divorce is not provided for in heaven, however, the church allows it to occur. But, this permission is presented in the form of the possibility of a second wedding.

What does it take to get debunked in church? It is impossible to describe a clear plan of action, since as such there is no separate procedure providing for the dissolution of a marriage. In addition, each ritual is purely individual and original. Many clergy completely deny recognition of this procedure, since it is believed that a marriage made in heaven is the strongest and most indestructible.

However, in reality this is not at all the case. Many couples who have not fully realized the seriousness and responsibility of the sacramental ritual wish to divorce in heaven. However, this is impossible. It is only possible to create new bonds, which seems to presuppose the breaking of old ones. Many couples, after an official, documented divorce, do not even think about the fact that their marriage continues to exist. However, especially believers are very puzzled by this issue. So what to do?

A divorce certificate is the main document proving the fact of a secular divorce.
Initially, you need to divorce your former spouse in accordance with the rules of family law (through the registry office or court). If a husband and wife mutually want this and do not have children or property disputes, then they need to contact the registry office. In all other cases, go to the magistrate's court with a statement of claim. Before going to the registry office or court, you will need to pay a fee and collect documents.

You will need to write a statement on the spot. After the expiration of a certain period for the implementation of this procedure, you will need to come for a certificate. The latter, in turn, will be official proof of the fact of divorce. However, after a legal divorce, it will not be possible to come to the church and ask for debunking, since it does not provide such services.

So how to get debunked? To do this, you must first visit the church where the sacrament took place, or any other nearby one. This is done so that the abbot has a conversation with the former spouses, finds out the reasons for the separation and talks about the possible consequences.

Note! You can get divorced at the time of a new wedding, which is possible after creating a new family and getting married. However, the priest himself does not make such decisions, so you need to contact the regional bishop for a blessing. And only after receiving it can you marry your new spouse in any church.

Since divorce can only be done in one case - upon entering into a new marriage, this process can be formalized unilaterally without the consent of the ex-spouse. Joint submission of a petition when formalizing the dissolution of family ties will be rejected. Because the church does not specifically provide for divorce. The severance of a church union is provided for only when a new one is created. Otherwise, the whole sacrament would be turned into an ordinary bureaucratic procedure.

How much do such services cost? Their cost is not specified, unlike a divorce in the registry office or court, where the payment of a state fee is required, the amount of which is strictly established and approved by legislative acts. The cost of debunking is provided only by the desire to make a donation to the temple.

If in any sacred institution its servants demand payment for any actions, then it is better to refuse to perform them and contact a higher service.

Hierarchy of the Orthodox Church

Who is responsible in the church for the debunking

People are interested in the question of how to get dethroned in church after a divorce, who to turn to? The diocesan bishop gives his verdict on the termination of the church union. The same church minister issues a certificate, which means that the church marriage is recognized as broken. Obtaining this certificate is important for the party who is innocent of the debunking, since in the future this party will have the opportunity to perform a second church sacrament. Here is the answer to the question of whether it is necessary to get divorced after a divorce.

Step-by-step procedure

First, the husband and wife must divorce officially - in the registry office. And only after this can you think about how to debunk a church marriage and seek advice from the priest.

The Russian Orthodox Church has determined a step-by-step process that the couple can go through within two weeks.

Initially, you need to go exactly to the parish where the wedding sacrament was performed. It is advisable to talk with the priest who performed the ceremony. So, if the wedding took place on the territory of the Moscow region, then the debunking can only take place in Moscow. If a couple registered a church marriage in another city, where it is not possible to get to at the right time, then they are allowed to contact the nearest church parish.

The priest talks to each of the couple separately, trying to find out the main reason for the divorce and explain what the consequences will be.

After the conversation, you need to send a petition to the Governing Diocese, which should indicate the date of the wedding and the place where the sacrament was performed. It is important to describe the entire family life of the spouses so that it is clear that the reason for the divorce is not invented for any other purpose. All reasons for debunking must be confirmed with certificates and documents certified by a lawyer. The last important document will be a letter from the priest, who in it expresses his opinion and attitude towards the married couple.

The list of required documents that must be attached to the application consists of the following papers:

• divorce certificate issued by the registry office;
• a document on a new marriage (if one of the couple has already entered into one);
• document confirming the wedding;
• notarized consent of the other half to debunk;
• documents confirming the reasons for the decision to divorce.

All this is attached to the application in the form of photocopies. The originals remain with the sender.

Re-registration of church marriage

There is no such thing in Orthodoxy as debunking. What is perfect in the face of the Creator with His blessing cannot be changed; God is not a man. Getting permission to re-union is another matter.

About family and marriage:

An Orthodox believer, a man or woman who is not guilty of the breakup of a previous marriage, can find a new spouse and receive a church blessing for this.

Important! Debunking after a divorce is possible only for the reasons specified in the Church Charter, with the personal permission of the bishop of the diocese.

Only the head of the diocese, the bishop, or the bishop can give permission to get married again, after hearing all the reasons for the collapse of the previous family. Of course, with a very strong desire to get married again, those guilty of destroying a previous marriage can hide their true guilt, deceiving not the bishop, but God himself, taking upon themselves all the blame for this.

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The sacrament of a wedding is not just a beautiful rite, it is an action performed in Heaven and continues on earth.

The priest who married such a couple is not responsible before God for hidden or false information; the sin falls on the newly created couple. Whether a new union will be successful if it began with deception and sin is up to the couple walking down the aisle to decide.

The merciful Lord never closes His doors to repentance and confession. Spouses who have decided to inform the church about their divorce should know that if they wish to resume their marriage, a wedding between them is impossible.

According to the laws of the Russian Orthodox Church, you can only walk down the aisle twice in your life.
The second wedding after the provision of divorce documents, strong evidence of non-Christian behavior of the other half, is possible with the permission of the head of the diocese. The bishop can give permission for a new union, while annulling the first wedding. Although in the Church Charter there is no concept of breaking the bonds consecrated by the Church, the Priesthood understands that different situations occur in life. The priest conducts the ceremony of a new wedding, constantly reminding that rushing between the choice of a spouse is not encouraged by the Church Charter.

When planning a second wedding, those spouses who have already been at the altar in their first or second marriage are required to submit an application to the head of the diocese and a copy of the divorce certificate.

The number of modern Orthodox divorces has reached such proportions that the diocese has standard forms for filing an application for divorce and permission for a second wedding. You must have a passport with you to confirm your identity.

Attention! The bishop's positive response to the submitted application is permission for church divorce, disunion, and re-union.

At the same time, there is no information about the children left behind, or the physical and mental state of the other half. All responsibility before the Almighty lies only with people.

No priest has the authority to perform the Sacrament of a second wedding without permission from the diocese, and this can take several weeks. This information should be taken into account when planning your wedding date.

People marrying according to church rites for the second time should be prepared for the fact that the wedding will be carried out according to the “second rite” without laying crowns.

Provided that one of the parties, the bride or groom, has not been married before, the Sacrament of Wedding takes place with all solemnity.

Wedding attributes left over from a previous marriage do not carry any mystical power. Candles can be burned, attributes can be distributed.

If permission for a second wedding is requested by the person who caused the divorce of the previous union, then the church imposes penance on the sinner for sincere repentance of the committed offenses towards the previous married spouse. The period of penance depends on the magnitude of the sin, and no one can determine it in advance.

After the collapse of the family hearth, Christians find consolation in prayer, through which God gives a new relationship.

Advice!
Having carefully analyzed your misdeeds and wrong actions in the first union, and analyzed them with your spiritual mentor, you can ask the priesthood for debunking and permission for a subsequent union. Is it possible to get divorced if the marriage has broken up, unilaterally or by mutual desire - is now more or less clear. But whether spouses can re-go through the wedding ceremony with another person should be examined in more detail.

Repeated weddings in the Orthodox Church are permitted only in cases where the married spouses are separated by death. In all other cases, the church has an extremely negative attitude towards the issue of how to dissolve a church marriage.

The sacrament of marriage can be performed again only after registration with the registry office. After this, the young people will have to correctly draw up a petition to the Diocese. There is a sample of such a document in every temple. The ceremony will be performed only if the bishop's permission comes. An ordinary priest cannot decide on his own to re-marry after he has given permission to a couple to divorce.

However, in this case the Diocese declines all responsibility. She does not issue an official document that will confirm the debunking. To perform the ritual again, the young can only receive a blessing, and the sacrament itself will take place according to the “second rite.” The bride and groom will not wear crowns, and no priest will be able to write a document about the re-wedding.

In the Christian world there is a tradition according to which weddings are performed three times. But the third time the ceremony becomes possible only when a widow and widower get married or they have minor children. To do this, it will be necessary to prepare documents confirming widowhood. They must be copied and submitted to the Diocese along with the application.

Debunking in the Orthodox Church, whose rules and canons are very different from other beliefs, has a number of differences from ordinary divorce. If the latter passes rather quickly, then there must be fairly compelling reasons for the first to occur, and it will be controlled by several church authorities.

Before you go to church for an answer to the question of how to get divorced from your ex-husband, you need to understand all the consequences for each party. After all, only the partner who is found not guilty of the breakup will receive permission to get married again.

Often after a divorce, a couple forgets that they need to get married. But if these are believers, then this problem comes first for them. An unpleasant event can only be avoided if the wedding ceremony was understood by the spouses over the years of their life together, and did not become another tribute to traditions and the pursuit of a beautiful celebration.

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The wedding ceremony has become popular and even fashionable. Almost every website dedicated to weddings has a separate section dedicated to describing the wedding procedure. Can a church marriage strengthen the relationship between a man and a woman and strengthen the family?

Yura is just about to enter into a church marriage. He is 35 years old, and this decision was not spontaneous. As a true believer, he considers this option of marriage to be the only one - if there was no wedding, then there is no marriage, Yuri argues. A wedding can strengthen a relationship and place additional moral responsibility for the marriage on the husband and wife.

What is a church marriage? This is a promise in the face of God when spouses promise to live together for the rest of their lives. And this is no longer like signing some piece of paper in the registry office - there are witnesses to this promise, we ourselves heard this promise from each other. And this is already a very good reason to take this seriously.

In the tradition of the Catholic Church, a wedding is considered necessary, and without it the marriage is not recognized. However, getting married in a church is not just that in order to get married in the Catholic Church, you need to fulfill a number of requirements, undergo communion, you need to somehow enter this context.

There are no statistics on church marriages. However, according to observations, in recent years there have been fewer people wanting to get married. But the number of visitors to the diocese on holidays even visually increased.

Orthodoxy recognizes marriage registered in the registry office. From the point of view of the Orthodox Church, such couples do not sin before God, so a wedding is not something necessary. However, some future spouses are simply not sure of their feelings. A beautiful wedding ceremony should compensate for this uncertainty.

A hasty wedding does not help, but simply gives the opportunity to continue, when conflicts and quarrels begin, to mock this ceremony and say: “You got married!”, but in fact there is no starting point - the desire of people to be together.

A wedding is not a magical act that can positively affect the relationship between a man and a woman and somehow strengthen it. If a person does not have sincere faith in God, the church will not help him save his marriage. Most people come to a church or church to get married for the sake of the solemn surroundings.

Maybe someone considers himself a believer because he goes to church. Considers himself Orthodox or Catholic, somehow identifies himself with one religion or another. But he will remain, in principle, a secular man; he does everything in his life on his own reflection. Why will he come to church? What can he take? For example, he thinks: well, you will receive some kind of power from above, maybe the marriage will become stronger. But this is no longer natural, which is why such questions constantly arise.

The priest advises to wait with church marriage for couples who want to start a family. If the husband and wife feel like real Christians and are ready for such a marriage, then it’s worth getting married.

As for the dissolution of a church marriage, there are difficulties here. This is how it happens, for example, in Orthodoxy. In the church, divorce is possible when there was a sin of fornication or one spouse abandoned the other, for example, went somewhere. A church divorce is not done, but simply permission is given for a second wedding. If a person is guilty, if he has sinned and it is his fault that the marriage is dissolved or he himself filed for divorce, then such a person does not have the right to get married at all. Nobody knows what and how it really happened. Most often, a person himself comes to the diocese and describes all the circumstances why this happened. He is given some kind of spiritual task, he reads some prayers, confesses. And then, in fact, with a 100% guarantee, he is given such permission.

Olga had experience of church marriage. She herself married an Orthodox Christian in a church, because such a marriage was important for her husband. However, the wedding did not deter her from divorce. They are no longer spouses before the state. But Olga does not want to deal with the cancellation of the church marriage, since she does not consider it something significant.

The most serious situation is when people stay together for a long time, if they have nothing at all that binds them - no children, no property, no stamp in the passport, no church marriage. Now, if in this case people stay together, then this is real. This is what means that people have feelings, personal responsibility, and conscience.

Konstantin Prozorovsky
A woman over forty: does she want to get married?
2011-02-17 18:28 Tatyana R.

With the equalization of wages between women and men, with almost universal female employment, with an increase in the number of divorces, the number of free, unmarried women of the so-called Balzac age is increasing. That is, in the modern sense - over forty. The capitalization of the post-Soviet space has added another factor to the balance, and now “career women” have been added to the “abandoned women” and “my ex-husband is an alcoholic” - women who are primarily focused on a career, self-sufficiency, and only then on starting a family .

It is curious that many people believe that if a woman is smart, beautiful, self-sufficient, if she is over 40, then she is not eager to get married. And really – why?

The institution of marriage involves raising children together; it guarantees that the child will not be left without the support of both parents. But at the age of “over forty,” few people think about children: if there are children, they have already grown up, and very few people decide to give birth. That is, marriage for the sake of children, at first glance, is excluded.

Another reason for marriage is such a banality as money - marriage becomes a means of certain material security. But if a woman is self-sufficient, then everything is fine in this regard. Own apartment, car, good job, good salary, which is enough not only for a daily sandwich with black caviar, but also for regular vacations in any (or almost any) desired corner of the globe.

The physiological aspect is important. If you think that sex after forty is something unattainable, only a distant memory, then you are very, very young. A healthy body requires regular sex. Where can I get it in the absence of a legal husband? But the problem is solved very simply: there are many other people’s husbands around who are not averse to “going left”, especially without burdening themselves with obligations - a mistress of Balzac’s age will not become pregnant, will not begin to make claims, demand divorce and an indispensable marriage, will not extract money (especially if she is self-sufficient). Yes, and there are free men, both young and older, who are attracted to sex with a pretty, smart, self-sufficient woman.

And now an opinion is spreading: free women over forty are not too eager to get married. Moreover, they do not strive for marriage at all. They don't need to. They are provided with sex one way or another, the children are already adults and do not require care, life is good. In addition, life has a certain course, a woman has certain habits, and marriage at this age means a rejection of the usual (which is difficult), but the husband can (and usually turns out to have) children and even grandchildren, and he has to shoulder the responsibility also this burden (as if washing men’s socks wasn’t enough!). And they say: “She’s beautiful, she earns well, she has everything, a young lover... is she married? She doesn't want to! For what?".

It is characteristic that this opinion is supported by free women themselves over forty. They assure their friends, acquaintances and relatives that they do not need marriage at all. They list the arguments against marriage, talk about their wonderful life, in which there is absolutely no place for a husband. They can demonstrate an impressive lover (“and there are no problems with sex in general, you just have to whistle and a whole crowd will come running, just choose!”).

What’s interesting is that psychologists specializing in the psychology of family and marriage usually have a queue of beautiful, self-sufficient women over forty, fully financially secure, who have raised children, have a lover, or even more than one. And there is only one problem: help me get married! These women visit psychologists, sorcerers, fortune tellers, and psychics. They clutch at any straw. They really want to get married.

While the children were growing up, I didn’t think about marriage like that – my thoughts were occupied with other things. In addition, it was necessary to ensure this very notorious self-sufficiency, it was necessary to make a career, earn money, etc., etc. But now the children have grown up, and what is the woman left with? Beautiful, self-sufficient, smart. In fact - at a broken trough. In the evenings she returns to an empty apartment - and this is very, very cold mentally. If she lives with children, then in some respects it is even more difficult: the grown children have their own interests, their own social circle, into which the mother does not really fit in; moreover, they may already have their own families. And in an apartment full of seemingly close people, a woman finds herself almost like in a desert - they love her, respect her, even take pride in her (“but my mother knows, knows how to make money, made a career from scratch, raised her own company...”) , but that's all. Who can I tell about a callus on my finger that is making it terribly difficult to wear my favorite shoes? Who to cook dinner for? For children? So they already have their own “cooks”. And the son-in-law may not like his mother-in-law’s kitchen; he prefers that his own wife cook for him, and the daughter-in-law is completely offended that she is not allowed to run the kitchen.

And at such moments I really, to the point of tears, want to get married. I want my own family – small, but my own. Your own husband, not someone else’s, who will warm not only a cold bed, but also a cold apartment, a soul caught in the frost of loneliness.

But they want to get married only when there are no friends, relatives or acquaintances nearby. Because in the vast majority of cases, it is very difficult for a self-sufficient and intelligent woman, almost impossible to admit to anyone that life has not been a success. That everything in this life is there, but the main thing is missing - simple female happiness, which does not consist of regular sex, trips to the Mediterranean Sea, dinners in expensive restaurants, an apartment, a car and a country cottage. They dream of washing men's socks.

Alas, sorcerers, fortune tellers and psychics can surprisingly cleverly save a desperate woman from a bit of money, but they can rarely really help with solving the problem. The situation is better with psychologists - if you can find a good psychologist, then in the end you will find the path to the desired happiness.

And, of course, there are various dating options, ranging from Internet portals, newspaper advertisements and ending with marriage agencies. Yes, the matchmakers are ordinary, almost old-fashioned, just equipped with modern technology. But they really help. So women over forty have a very real chance of finding the desired simple female happiness. In fact, the main thing is to admit to yourself that you want marriage. After all, many women manage to successfully deceive not only their friends, relatives and acquaintances, but even themselves.

Having become convinced at some point that happiness in marriage is not available to them, they convince themselves (a kind of auto-training) that it is not required - everything is there and nothing else is needed. But even these people sometimes feel cold and uncomfortable at night. I want something. Something more than just the calm (and stagnation) of loneliness.

Dear men!
Be careful with single women over forty. Don't be exposed to drafts that increase the cold of an empty apartment. Sofia Vargan Sex during pregnancy: fears and reality
2011-02-27 21:59 Tatyana R.

Fear of losing a child

It is believed that intimate life during pregnancy can cause miscarriage or harm the unborn child. On the one hand, a woman really wants to please her husband, but on the other, fear for the child does not allow her to completely relax. And instead of enjoying life, the young mother either deprives her husband of a full sex life, or agrees to sex only for the sake of her husband and suffers from fear for the baby.

Pregnancy is not a disease, but a double responsibility, which means caution. Therefore, some restrictions still exist. Sex is an additional risk factor. Only the doctor observing you can make the final decision whether you can have sex.

It is necessary to abstain from sex:

In case of multiple pregnancy (twins, triplets), doctors, regardless of the well-being of the expectant mother, recommend abstaining from sexual activity from the 20th week. This is due to the fact that with multiple pregnancies there is always a risk of premature birth, and sexual arousal can stimulate labor;

if the uterus is constantly in good shape. In this case, regardless of the stage of pregnancy, sexual intercourse can provoke uterine contractions and premature birth;

If, according to ultrasound, you have a low-lying placenta or placenta previa, sexual intercourse may cause bleeding. In this case, doctors recommend abandoning positions that provide deep penetration (man from behind, woman from above, etc.);

if bleeding or spotting occurs, it is recommended to refrain from sexual intercourse until visiting a doctor;

If you have already had miscarriages and premature births, or are at risk of miscarriage, you should avoid sexual contact during particularly dangerous periods. In this case, the days of expected menstruation are considered dangerous, that is, every fourth week of the period (4th, 8th, 12th, 16th, etc.), as well as the dates of previous miscarriages;

for any sexually transmitted diseases, as well as in cases where pregnancy occurred during treatment for sexually transmitted diseases;

2-3 weeks before the expected due date, most doctors recommend abstaining from intimacy. When sexually aroused, the female body produces the hormone oxytocin, which stimulates uterine contractions. The male hormone prostaglandin, contained in seminal fluid, has a similar effect. So intercourse just before giving birth can cause contractions. But if a woman is nursing and labor does not begin at the expected time, doctors, on the contrary, advise stimulating the onset of labor with the help of sexual caresses.

The spouse will look for pleasure on the side

During the first trimester of pregnancy, most women experience a decrease in sexual desire.

Nausea, dizziness and fatigue also do not add to the desire. In the morning you feel sick from the breakfast you just ate, as soon as the toxicosis passes, you want to sleep, then eat again, and by the evening you are so exhausted that you don’t even want to think about anything but sleep. In addition, it is terribly annoying that your husband cannot share with you all the unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy.

It’s also not worth depriving your spouse of your sex life. He must be satisfied no less often than before, because with the birth of a child he will already feel deprived, this latent antagonism and competition cannot be strengthened. There are many ways of sexual release and mutual satisfaction without traditional sexual intercourse. And denial of your orgasm (uterine contractions) is not torture for your husband.

Often, after a period complicated by toxicosis, drowsiness, and increased fatigue, a time of good health and mood comes, and sexual interest in the husband returns with the same or even greater strength.

Reschedule bed games to a time that is most convenient for you. After all, you are not sick 24 hours a day. According to most expectant mothers, the optimal time for sex is early in the morning, before breakfast or after an afternoon nap. Do not adapt to your husband at the expense of your desires.

Unattractive body

Some pregnant women look at themselves in the mirror and find themselves fat and huge. A woman’s body changes right before her eyes: her stomach takes on an incredible size, her breasts become painful and, when aroused, colostrum can leak out of them.

Be sure to talk to your husband about this. Talk about the experiences you are experiencing, especially if you feel insecure and unattractive due to changes in your body. You will be very surprised to know that most men find pregnant women very attractive and sexy. Love your pregnant body. Stop having complexes about your huge belly. You will gain weight gradually, and your husband will have time to adapt to your new size. In the next nine months, you can be proud of your belly; this is where the main caresses will be directed.

Poses:

 Lie on your side. So that, despite the increase in your belly, your partner can remain on top, you need to be very inventive. But if you lie slightly on your side, your partner will be able to avoid putting all of their weight on you.

 Use the bed as a support. Your belly won't be in the way if you lie on your back on the edge of the bed with your knees bent. Your partner can either kneel or stand.

 Lie on your side with your back to your partner. This position allows only shallow penetration. Deep penetration can become uncomfortable over months.

 You are on top. In this position there is no pressure on the stomach, and you can control the depth of penetration.

 There is also no pressure on the uterus in the sitting position. Try sitting on your partner's lap while he sits on a stable chair.

 Believe in yourself - if you have the will, there will be a way. With a little experimentation, you and your other half are sure to find a way that brings pleasure to both of you.

Three in one bed

It happens when a pregnant woman or her partner suddenly begins to feel like “someone is watching” them. Of course, there are no longer two of you in bed, but three, but can this be considered group sex?

One of my friends explained her refusal to have sex this way: “It seems to me that a child from the womb is constantly watching me and evaluating my behavior. And in bed I can't relax. It’s like having sex in public.”

Scientific research shows that babies in the womb respond to their parents' sexual play. Remember, the baby feels good only when the mother feels good.

The fetal brain is not a miniature adult brain. Its memory elements (called neurons) are not yet functional at birth.

Don't have an orgasm

Over the next nine months, your mood will constantly change, and every day you will receive new emotions from sex. So don't refuse sex just because you didn't enjoy it yesterday.

Already from the first weeks of pregnancy, the blood supply to the uterus and vagina increases sharply. The absence of orgasm (anorgasmia) in some women is caused precisely by a violation of the mechanism of the flow of additional blood to the uterus and genitals during arousal. Thus, the changes that have occurred in the vascular system and the intensive blood supply to the uterus allow women to experience orgasms. In addition, immediately after sexual intercourse, the outflow of excess blood is delayed, thereby inhibiting the decline in sexual tension. So pregnant orgasms are not only more frequent, but also longer lasting.

One of the reasons for very strong orgasms during pregnancy may be an increase in fluid levels in the abdominal cavity. Due to the amount of blood accumulating there, the uterus of a pregnant woman remains in an excited state for several minutes after orgasm. As a result, a woman who typically experienced single orgasms before pregnancy may experience double or multiple orgasms during pregnancy.

Men's fears

Expectant fathers experience just as much emotional stress as their wives. One study of 59 couples found that "expectant fathers experienced even less emotional comfort than their pregnant wives." Many men still consider pregnancy a serious obstacle to sexual relations. The reasons may be various: fear of harming the child, loss of the wife's bodily attractiveness, a feeling that sex during pregnancy is immoral, even the fear that "the fetus will become a witness to their love affairs" and the fear that "it may damage the penis."

Some expectant fathers believe that during sexual intercourse the head of their penis may touch the weak brain of the embryo, which is why the child may be born mentally retarded. Another concern is that the sperm “corrodes the fetus’s eyes, causing the baby to be born blind.”

Do not be afraid to accidentally harm your child during sexual intercourse. It is well protected by the fetal bladder and uterus, and the amniotic fluid reliably absorbs strong shocks.

EXPERT ADVICE

It must be remembered that pregnant women can ONLY have sex with a condom! And we are not talking about sexually transmitted infections. Sexual intercourse, causing microtraumas, provokes an exacerbation of banal candidiasis, which often worsens during pregnancy; ordinary microbes contained in sperm are foreign to the female genital organs, and although they do not cause sexually transmitted diseases, they sometimes provoke an inflammatory process - cystitis, for example. Sexual intercourse brings these germs directly to the cervix, and this increases the risk of intrauterine infection. So during pregnancy, although you do not need to protect yourself from pregnancy, you need to protect yourself from infections;

How does a church marriage get debunked?

There are no special rules for debunking in the Orthodox Church.

After considering the petition, the diocese may or may not bless the re-wedding. However, in both cases, it does not issue any official confirmation on paper, since the church itself does not provide for the debunking procedure. After receiving the blessing, you can get married again.

Debunking a church marriage is a rather complicated procedure. However, the second wedding will take place somewhat differently than the initial one, since the ceremony takes place in the second order and crowns are not used. Even if one of the spouses is getting married for the first time, crowns will not be held over the heads of the newlyweds.

The second and third weddings are carried out without crowns over their heads

People can only get married in a church three times. And the last time will be quite difficult, since it requires the presence of certain conditions, which include:

• death of both previous spouses;
• presence of children who have not yet turned 18 years of age.

The procedure for debunking a church marriage differs significantly from officially dissolving a marriage. Because it requires the intervention of higher church bodies, which may refuse the request. In addition, it is only carried out when one of the former spouses wishes to re-marry in heaven.

Therefore, when considering the petition, the bishop takes into account the degree of guilt of each of the former spouses.

Refusal of a request is possible for the following reasons:

• if the grounds are not sufficient for divorce (material reasons, dissimilarity of characters, other meaningless motives);
• if the vows were not initially kept (marriage of convenience);
• if the culprit of the divorce is the petitioner.

Important! The guilty spouse is forever prohibited from performing the sacrament a second time.

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Debunking after divorce

God intended the union of man and woman to last forever. A wedding is a special ceremony. A loving couple receives a blessing to live together, raise children and overcome life's troubles.

Church weddings should be approached with all responsibility. Christians should not have divorces - this decision of the spouses is not welcomed in any denomination.

In Christianity, and in particular in the Orthodox Church, there is no concept of “church divorce” or “debunking.” But what to do if the marriage breaks up?

Church divorce - is there such a thing?

Despite the condemnation of divorcing couples, for some reasons the church may be lenient and allow remarriage. There is only one case where disapproval is not met with a second wedding – if the first spouse has died. But even in such a situation, in the Orthodox Church participation in a wedding is allowed no more than three times.

In some cases, remarriage is permitted. Possible grounds for divorce in Orthodoxy:

• change of religion by one of the spouses;
• the second spouse entering into a new marriage;
• detection of leprosy, HIV infection or syphilis;
• unnatural activities of the spouse - masturbation, bestiality, homosexuality;
• attempt on the life or health of family members;
• inability to bear children;
• marriage against one's will;
• wedding in the presence of a legal spouse;
• abortion;
• sin of adultery (betrayal of husband or wife);
• serving a prison sentence;
• incurable illness of a psychological nature (including drug addiction diseases);
• intentional abandonment of one of the spouses.

How can you prove the existence of a reason? As a rule, before the second wedding there is a sacrament of confession and a conversation, where the clergyman will certainly ask a question about the reason for the divorce.

For example, in Byzantine law, adultery was not considered a valid reason for divorce. In this case, one condition had to be met - both parties were guilty of infidelity and the spouses had mutually forgiven each other.

But the Bible says that adultery is the only valid reason for divorce (Matthew 5:31-32). However, only those who were not involved and not guilty of adultery can receive the blessing of a clergyman for remarriage.

So, above were listed exhaustive reasons for divorce from the point of view of the Orthodox Church. Should I get debunked? Since the concept of “debunking” as such does not exist, there is no need to do anything special.

If you remarry, the priest will definitely conduct a conversation and clarify what was the reason for the divorce, how the ex-spouse lives now, whether there are children, etc. However, his blessing will not be enough. You will have to submit a petition to the regional Diocese.

The church does not issue any document on divorce. The main purpose of divorce in the church is to obtain a blessing for a second wedding, since the first is considered graceless.

Is it necessary to get divorced during a divorce - broken cake

The family ties of marriage are beautiful, and a wedding carries an even deeper meaning. There is a reason that a priest is present at a wedding. He binds the souls of people not only with earthly ties, but also with spiritual ones.

Unfortunately, the divorce process, like debunking in the church, is a more than relevant issue. For many, parting with loved ones is already a common thing.

In the church it is believed that a wedding is the marriage of spouses for a lifetime. However, in the modern world, many church ministers make concessions to those who want to undergo the wedding ceremony a second time. A more complicated process occurs the third time. In fact, you can only get married a maximum of 3 times in your life.

Wedding date

It is allowed to perform the ceremony on odd days of the week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday).

True, holidays should not fall on these days:

1. Easter.
2. The beheading of John the Baptist (as well as his eve).
3. The Exaltation of the Holy Cross (as well as its eve).

Also, weddings are not held during Lent and Maslenitsa week.

Preparation

Before the second wedding (as before the first), you should fast for three days. You can confess and receive communion in advance. Some priests perform these rites right before the wedding ceremony.

You should also prepare:

1. Icons of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary. Either bring it from home or buy it.
2. 2 wedding candles, white towel.
3. Rings. You can't use the old ones, buy new ones.
4. Pectoral crosses.
5. Bride's outfit. It should be modest (all parts of the body should be covered) and light in color. The head must be covered. You should wear comfortable shoes as the process will be long.

Despite the fact that witnesses and guests are not allowed for a second wedding, it is quite possible to order a choir and ringing of bells.

Description of the ritual

The main difference between the second wedding and the first: the absence of crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. Even if the second spouse participates in the sacrament for the first time, he is not given a crown.

How the ritual takes place:

1. At the church, the documents of the spouses and the petition addressed to the bishop are submitted. A voluntary amount is paid.
2. If there is a blessing and an officially registered marriage, only the spouses and the priest should take part in the wedding process.
3. The wedding ceremony is carried out similarly to the “first time”.

It should be remembered that the ceremony must take place with a complete decision to associate one’s destiny with a person. There must be respect, trust and responsibility for your choice. And, of course, love: not only physical, but also spiritual.

Nuances

Weddings are held only for those who have been baptized in Orthodoxy. In some cases, an exception is made for representatives of Catholicism, Lutheranism and Anglicanism.

You cannot marry a representative of Islam, Judaism, or Buddhism.

The wedding of close relatives is prohibited (incest).

Weddings can only take place at the age of 18, not earlier!

It is important that the wedding date does not fall on a woman’s critical days. These days, representatives of the fair sex are prohibited from entering the temple.

The wedding takes place in 2 stages:

1. Engagement. The newlyweds are baptized three times, the presentation of rings and the subsequent exchange of wedding rings three times.
2. Sacrament. Here the spouses must answer the priest's questions. He says prayers. At the end, the newlyweds drink symbolic sips of church wine from a special cup.

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At the end, the spouses walk around the lectern 3 times and receive a blessing (with the help of icons) for marriage.

As a rule, many priests do not undertake to conduct the wedding process for the third time. The exception is widowers and widows. In this case, the ceremony, if it takes place, is similar to that described above.

In the following video, the priest talks about the debunking procedure.

Modern grounds for dissolution of a church marriage

Over the centuries, the Church, taking into account the realities of our lives, has added other reasons for divorce. Let us present the main ones, focusing on the provisions of the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church in 2021.

Refusal of one of the spouses from the Orthodox faith. This makes it impossible for the spouses to live together in Christ, for the sake of which the Sacrament was performed. This may also lead to problems in raising children.

Unnatural vices of one of the spouses. That is, sexual perversions that interfere with Christian family life and are considered a grave sin.

A dangerous disease for the other half, as well as chronic alcoholism and drug addiction. As a rule, all this excludes normal marital relations. Therefore, out of mercy for healthy family members, the Church may dissolve a marriage.

Family violence is also a valid reason for divorce. In this case, there is a threat to the life and health of family members.

Malicious departure of one of the spouses from the family or his unknown disappearance for 3 years. In such cases, the Church shows leniency towards the family member left alone and declares the dissolution of a marriage that has actually broken down.

The Church also considers a wife’s intentional termination of her pregnancy without her husband’s consent or forcing him to have an abortion as valid reasons for divorce. Artificial termination of pregnancy in Christianity is considered a grave sin. The Orthodox Church teaches that a person’s soul appears at the moment of conception. Thus, abortion is the murder of an unborn child.

Until death do us part...

According to church canons, marriage ends with the death of one of the spouses. The Apostle Paul taught:

“A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39).

Let us quote the words of Archpriest Pavel Gumerov:

“People have stopped seeing family as the highest value. All this was aggravated by complete permissiveness and moral degradation. We have succumbed to the spirit of the times; we do not want to work on ourselves, to work on our family life. If the Church simply tightens measures and makes church divorce a very difficult act, I think this will achieve nothing.

A Christian marriage has two sides: spiritual and civil, legal. One does not exist without the other. Before the revolution, the Church dealt with both marriages and divorces. Now it’s a state. We cannot refuse to give a person a divorce if his marriage, both de facto and de jure, no longer exists.”

Ritual of debunking in the Orthodox Church

So, there is no debunking, there is only the opportunity to receive a blessing for marriage. If the reasons for divorce do not seem significant to the clergy, permission will not be given. What is needed for this?

The second wedding proceeds in much the same way as the first. The only difference is that now no one holds crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. In this case, it does not matter that, for example, the second spouse is participating in the sacrament for the first time.

For the ceremony to take place, you need to provide the following documents:

• general passports of both newlyweds;
• divorce certificate;
• marriage certificate (second);
• an application submitted to the ruling bishop to remove the crowns.

The wedding is paid for by a voluntary donation. Its size can be named in the temple or determined by the couple themselves.

Remember that the dissolution of a union concluded in the church is possible only in the extreme impossibility of saving the family. Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. They become one, therefore, from the point of view of Christianity, divorce is unacceptable.

The combination of a man and a woman was intended by God to be an eternal union. The Lord created a family for two people for the rest of their lives: “I say to you: whoever divorces his wife for reasons other than adultery and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). A very clear command.

Debunking is not carried out in the church. If you look at the statistics of second church marriages while the first spouse is alive, it will seem very disappointing - the number of divorces exceeds 70%, and the remaining couples do not live very well.

Differences between the second wedding and the first

After getting married in church after a divorce in the full understanding of this expression did not work out, it is necessary to figure out whether the wedding ceremonies performed for the first time and again are different. There are different ranks of the sacraments of the Orthodox Church, namely: the first and second rites of weddings. A person who wants to receive a blessing for a new marriage must first repent, since according to church laws it is believed that remarrying a divorced person means committing adultery.

The believer will need to confess and undergo penance - this is a kind of healing method for the repentant. Since the concept of “properly getting married after a divorce” does not exist, the above-described ritual will lead a person to purification, which will make it possible to carry out the wedding ceremony in a second marriage. The repeated procedure for the sacrament of marriage occurs less solemnly than the first.

How to submit a petition for debunking sample

A special form of petition has not been established, since the petition itself is not established by any laws or documents. However, it must comply with the basic rules of office work. The text must be readable and accurate, and errors, omissions, blots and other inaccuracies are not allowed. The document can be drawn up by hand or printed (whichever is more convenient for you). The two methods can be combined and a form can be created where you can manually add the missing information.

The petition consists of three main parts:

1. Introductory part:

• information about the recipient of the document (name of the sacred institution, name, rank, etc.);
• information about the applicant (last name, first name, patronymic, registration (residence) address and contact phone number);

1. Main part:

• information about former spouses (last name, first name, patronymic);
• wedding date;
• wedding place (city, name of the sacred institution);
• reason for the debunking (the true reason is indicated, which must be satisfactory for the re-wedding);
• details of the divorce certificate (series, number, registration code);
• information about the new spouse with whom the wedding ceremony is planned for the second time (last name, first name, patronymic, reason for marriage).

1. Final part:

The following documents must be attached to the application:

• wedding certificate (from first marriage);
• certificate of divorce;
• a certificate-explanation from the priest who performed the wedding ceremony;
• evidence of the reasons for the divorce (certificates and documents of legal significance).

The latter include:

• a medical certificate about a particular illness, infertility or abortion without the consent of the husband;
• a certificate from a dispensary stating that the second spouse has an alcohol or drug addiction;
• a certificate from the judicial authorities declaring the second spouse guilty of committing illegal actions and sentencing him to imprisonment for more than three years;
• a certificate from the registry office stating that the person has been declared missing;
• death certificate of the former spouse;
• others.

Important! All necessary documents must be copied, and copies must be submitted along with the petition.

Sample petition for debunking

In addition, when submitting this document, you must go through the procedure of confession before a priest. The latter, in turn, puts his signature on the petition, which will be evidence that the confession was accepted.

It often takes about two to three weeks for the application to be processed.

What documents are needed for debunking

Since it will not be possible to debunk a marriage during a divorce by limiting yourself to a conversation with a priest and repentance, you need to know what documents are needed for debunking.

You should prepare:

• passports (one or both);
• certificate of divorce;
• church marriage certificate;
• certificates, medical reports and other documents that can confirm the objectivity of the reasons and the validity of the appeal for debunking.

Petition for debunking

Having started the church procedure, you should no longer ask whether it is necessary to get divorced after a divorce, you need to go to the end. On the recommendation of a clergyman of the local church, you should write to the diocese for permission to discredit the spouses. There is no sample for writing such a petition. The main thing is to describe the reason for the desire to get debunked. It is necessary to indicate the date and temple in which the wedding took place. Since the spouse asks to debunk the marriage during a divorce without guilt, he can immediately add a request to bless a second church sacrament. When asking to get married again, you must indicate the last name, first name and patronymic of the new chosen one.

After submitting the petition to the rector, he will write a report on church letterhead with a brief description of the situation addressed to the administrator of the diocese. The procedure for debunking after a divorce should end with the blessing of the ruling bishop for a new church sacrament.