Signs that your ex-girlfriend will come back or wants to come back

Why does the wife want to return to the family?

I would like to note that 95% of the ex-wife’s desire to return is not caused by love for her husband, more often it is domestic discomfort, an uncomfortable economic situation and moral exhaustion associated with independently solving problems that usually fall on men’s shoulders. The remaining 5% of women come to understand the remaining feelings during a benign separation (the former spouses remained on good terms).

Among the normal reasons why an ex-wife wants to return after a divorce, I will highlight only two:

• The presence of a common child (a weighty argument in which the feelings of the parents are often revived, but here lies a negative outcome: if the interaction of the spouses leads to conflicts, there is a high risk of developing mental disorders in the child, so sometimes it is better to stay apart);
• The predominance of bias in a quarrel that led to divorce (incorrectly drawn conclusions about a situation or a person provoke emotions, for example, a wife called a plumber, he turned out to be a friend and classmate and, out of old friendship, asked to quickly wash accidentally damaged civilian clothes, so as not to go to the work uniform home... The husband returned home, found him undressed while changing clothes and took it as betrayal, without listening, he left and filed for divorce).

Abnormal causes include:

• False self-hypnosis that the husband was ideal, following the test of several disposable men (they also say about these: “I’ve had my fill and come!”);
• Lack of funds for independent living (if a man earns 80,000 and a woman 20,000, the habit of spending 100,000 a month continues and often the monthly budget burns out in a couple of days, but you still want to eat);
• Deterioration of living conditions (if the apartment belonged to a man before marriage, after the divorce it remains with him, but a woman will have to look for rented housing or live with relatives, which causes discomfort);
• Moral pressure from loved ones (if the wife’s parents doted on her husband and saw the prospects for the development of the family, then after the divorce a reminder about him will sound in the format of a drill);
• Legal preparation for a second marriage with an ex-husband (the most dangerous plot: a woman is so angry with her husband that she comes up with a revenge plan, where she returns the man through manipulation, gets married again, achieves her goal and, having prepared for independence, files for divorce when the law will be able to “gnaw off” a good piece of property).

How to understand that your ex-girlfriend wants to come back?

The main symptom, which can manifest itself in the most, even sophisticated, forms is persistent attempts to get in touch, to remind oneself. The problem with guys is that we don’t understand hints, so even with fairly obvious attempts to attract attention, girls can maintain the distance necessary for their game until the last moment. It is extremely rare for an ex-girlfriend to call/come to meet a guy and directly say: “I want to renew our relationship.” This happens a little more often if we are talking about an ex-wife who realized that she had made a mistake. But usually girls do not act so directly - so as not to give all the initiative into the hands of a man. Although it would be a sincere and simple conversation that would show a man the purity of the girl’s intentions and arouse trust in her.

So how can an ex-girlfriend who wants to return act?

• Calls and messages. She can write or call as if by accident (provocation, supposedly she got the wrong number) or invent an excuse for which she needs to get in touch, although she, of course, didn’t really want this. The situation will further develop depending on how you react to her attempt to get in touch.
• Meeting proposals . If you communicate, she may suggest a meeting or arrange it. In fact, you can remain friends, she says. If a guy is initially not eager to communicate with his ex, then it’s not difficult to come up with a reason for a meeting: “give over the keys,” “pick up things.” And, of course, she knows where you go, so arranging a “casual” meeting is not difficult. All these intersections do not seem to oblige you to anything, but they allow the girl to take a closer look at your behavior around her.
• Building bridges to the past. You communicate as friends, but she often recalls your past together with nostalgia. This is already a pretty obvious hint, but again she seems to be out of business - you’re just remembering the old days, and this means absolutely nothing.
• Flirting. The most obvious sign, and I wouldn’t talk about it if we men understood the hints. Flirting is difficult to describe: it is frivolous behavior, which, if something happens, can be presented as just friendly banter.

It is important to understand that after a breakup, in 95% of cases, ex-girlfriends remind you of themselves in one way or another - no matter who initiated the breakup. And their behavior should not be unequivocally assessed as a desire to return. Girls love to possess, and often for years they lead a string of exes with them, whom they periodically feed with hope. Therefore, it is very important how you react to such “beacons”. The advice to take your time will always be useful here. In most cases, unnecessary initiative on your part will only do harm, but complete control of emotions is unnecessary. But the most important thing is to understand what you want in this situation.

Who initiates the divorce?

Before figuring out why the ex-wife wants to return in a year , for example, it is more advisable to remember your “shoals” and study the circumstances to identify leverage. Remember your weaknesses that your ex-wife knows about. Do you admit that she is capable of using them to suppress your personality? If there is a child, the manipulations may be harsher and put pressure on the father’s feelings:

• Butting heads with your son/daughter, creating imaginary attitudes;
• When raising, inculcate a sense of selfishness through “begging” for money (after all, a “poor” father will not refuse if he wants to rehabilitate himself in his son’s eyes).

There are situations in which it is better not to return, taking as an example single mothers who feel anger towards their abandoned husband and take it out on their children. The man left once, and his son endures drills and beatings until he reaches adulthood. The child misbehaved in the 1st grade (he stole 30 rubles for ice cream), and the mother reminds him of the misdemeanor until the 4th year of university. Remember, a woman’s heart holds a grudge longer than a man’s and at the right moment it will sting more painfully.

If the meanness that separated you lies in your ex (having cheated, your wife left and wants to return ), you should think about the advisability of maintaining the union even in the case of a common child. As mentioned above, returning to the family will affect his psychological state. Firstly, I doubt that women’s festivities in other people’s beds will so easily fly out of a man’s head, which will definitely cause high-frequency aggressive attacks. Secondly, fear of a repetition of the incident, disgust in intimacy and subconscious jealous signals will plague.

Conclusion: it doesn’t matter who is to blame for the deformation of the family. If an offense can put pressure on consciousness and provoke emotional discomfort, there is no need to connect your life with the source of reminders of it.

What to do to save the family?

According to professional psychologists, the behavioral strategy should be such that, as they say, “both the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe.”
Each person is unique, so any comparisons are, at a minimum, inappropriate. However, your loved one once made a choice, and not in favor of the “ex”. Your task is to make it clear to your husband (naturally, without scandals or conflicts) that the woman he divorced is now a stranger to him. The only thing she is for him now is the mother of their common children. And your wife is exactly you.

We must not forget that your husband lived with his ex-wife for a long time. And it is quite possible that he considers her a person worthy of respect. It’s stupid to think that their marriage consisted only of quarrels and scandals.

You cannot stoop to shouting and bazaar showdowns, even if you are provoked to do so. You need to protect your family intelligently, making it clear to your ex-wife that you are not interested in any intrigues. Sooner or later it will come to her.

This is how the stronger sex works, that not every man will tolerate conditions being imposed on him and attempts to manipulate him.

At the same time, he should know that constant calls from his ex-wife and other “signs of attention” are not very pleasant for you.

If your husband has maintained a relationship with his former family and supports him morally and financially, this characterizes him as a responsible person. Such people do not give up in difficult times.

Therefore, such initiatives can only be encouraged. After all, the most important thing for you is to realize that the man will not leave you and will not return to his previous family. But there are no “former” children. This is a truism.

Acting with ultimatums is dangerous because you can lose your husband's favor.

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What to do?

Let’s summarize the aspects and model a man’s behavior after a woman’s offer to return. So, we are convinced that the child is not an argument for returning (but this does not free you from the obligations imposed by law towards him), which means there are six variations in the turn of events:

1. The wife left for someone else, now she wants to return: the likelihood of the plot repeating is high, so don’t;
2. The wife left because of impatience with male behavior: if you guarantee improvement in domestic and love behavior, come back;
3. The wife or husband misinterpreted the situation: if before the incident the relationship suited both of them and the circumstances were clarified, return;
4. The husband left the family without permission because of passion: there is a risk of revenge on the female side, but if there is a child, you can return and, through healthy interaction with him, calm down female ambitions;
5. The husband is tired of a wife who is not capable of being a housewife, mother, etc.: you can give a chance, but you should not get used to it and fall in love with a woman again, since variability in character traits can be feigned and become a tool for profit;
6. Mutual decision to divorce: such a decision does not arise spontaneously, it is reached in stages, and no matter how much you find a compromise, everything will come down to collapse.

Sign #1: She is the initiator of communication.

So, the first signal that will help you understand whether she wants to get you back is attempts to communicate, especially if she is constantly trying to remind you of herself.

Regular messages and calls are a reason to think that she wants to return to her previous relationship. If not even consciously, then subconsciously for sure. Of course, one call or message a month is not a reason to think so. But I can say with confidence that if your ex calls or writes very often and at the same time, you do not show any initiative, then this is a clear sign.

What is also important is how often she does it and in what way. If she calls you or often hangs around your house, then, of course, this is a more clear signal than just a message on Viber or on a social network. And, if your ex constantly reminds you of herself, listen to what you are saying.

What does it look like? To show they care about you and try to stay in your life? Or does all the talk boil down to unpaid bills or the boots she left with you? So pay attention to what you're saying and if it's caring, that's a pretty obvious sign.

A useful skill in a situation where your ex was the first to text you would be the ability to respond to her SMS correctly. I told you how to do it correctly in this article.

Sign #7: Jealousy

A very strong indicator that your ex-girlfriend is still interested in you, or even wants to get back, is jealousy. This is exactly the sign that will help us understand the situation and, as I already mentioned in my program “The Ex Factor”, this is exactly what will help you get your relationship back. And if she gets jealous when you spend time with other girls, go on dates or post photos on social networks with other ladies, then this is a reason to think about it.

It doesn’t matter what it is, but if she is jealous at the same time, then it is clear that she still has romantic feelings for you and jealousy is perhaps the best indicator of this.

How to get your wife back if she left

♦How to get your wife back if she left♦. A wife leaving the family is a very common situation. The reasons for leaving can be very different - ranging from some kind of misconduct by the husband and ending with the betrayal of the woman herself. But most often wives leave the family as a result of the “cumulative effect” when they get tired of their husband’s moral terror, his rudeness and drunkenness, infidelity, gambling addiction, lies, parasitism, dependence on friends or parents, etc. Or the women themselves have such a stormy character that they cannot cope with themselves and leave the family (to their parents, girlfriends, to their own or rented housing, etc.) after some overly emotional skirmish,

Now we are not analyzing the reasons for the wife’s leaving: what is important is that she left and her husband was not ready for this. Under these conditions, many men act primitively, trying to simply bribe the departed woman with flowers, gifts, their apologies and promises. Men do not understand that such behavior only works against them, since seeing the obvious weakness of a man, a woman loses respect for him even more. And therefore the motivation to return to her husband.

Let me emphasize right away: if a man has made some serious mistake in front of his wife and family as a whole, he is obliged to admit it, apologize and undertake obligations to correct the situation. But if the wife no longer believes her husband’s words, then she will not return back immediately. Therefore, if the wife does not accept her husband’s apology (sometimes quite correctly) and does not rush back, and the man wants to save his family, you need to be prepared for the fact that the reconciliation process will take a certain number of days or even months. And during this period, you should not annoy your wife with fits of jealousy/tenderness and calls for a return, but spend this time changing your image and forming a different, more positive perception of your husband in your wife’s head. I'll say it straight:

To return a wife psychologically tired of her husband,

a man should not scare her, but pleasantly surprise her.

Therefore, if, despite all the efforts of the husband, the departed wife is in no hurry to return back to the family, the man needs to calm down, pull himself together and act according to the plan that I call this:

How to surprise your wife to get her back:

As part of this plan, after he has apologized, the man should follow 20 recommendations:

♦1.Do not call your wife back under any circumstances!

♦2. Do not put pressure on your wife, even indirectly, including through her girlfriends, parents, children, friends. Show everyone complete calm.

♦3.Don’t be afraid to talk about divorce. Show that since the wife wants to move on without her husband, it is her right, she can do it, and you are not going to stop her. You can also calmly discuss a fair division of property without trying to deceive or shortchange your wife. Practice shows that with such a constructive dialogue, real divorce and division very rarely come to pass.

♦4. Eliminate any quarrels or rudeness, including during negotiations. Nip any conflicts in the bud, avoid them, curtail dialogue. Do not allow your wife to provoke you into quarrels in order to put you in the usual role of a “bad husband” or a psychopath.

♦5.Do not call or write to your wife on social networks, do not like or comment on her photos. Write and call only about children, organizing their meetings. But always answer the phone if she calls. And politely respond to her messages.

♦6. During personal meetings or calls, do not ask your wife about her life, so as not to run into the phrase: “This should no longer be interesting to you!” Be content with standard phrases. But if the wife talks about it herself, listen with interest and praise the wife. When communicating in person or by correspondence, try not to tell yourself about yourself on your own initiative, so as not to hear in response the offensive phrase: “I’m not interested in this” and not break into a conflict. Talk about yourself only after leading and direct questions from your wife. However, under no circumstances should you talk about your problems. But talk about your successes, successes, especially career and financial ones. There is no need to lie, but you can exaggerate a little and embellish how your business is going uphill.

♦7.Do not demand an account of your wife’s life and plans, do not criticize her plans, no matter how unrealistic they may be.

♦8.Do not be jealous, do not ask about communication with other men. Do not conflict with those who may write to her or comment on her photos and posts on social networks.

♦9. Do not make your wife jealous. Do not go out with other women, do not take pictures with them, do not take them to your home.

♦10.Quickly change your appearance. Look radically different, especially when meeting with your wife and on your social networks. If you wore a sporty style, go to casual. There were kazhel (sweater, jumper, jeans) - change into classic clothes (shirts, ironed trousers and shoes). If you were in the classics, go to an expensive and prestigious cafe.

In general, improve your appearance to become more well-groomed: sports, slimness, diet, wash, shave, get a haircut, wash your clothes, etc.

♦11.Independently improve your life and everyday life, showing your wife that everything is improving for you without your wife: bought a large TV, new furniture or plumbing, made mini-renovations in the apartment, updated your phone or even a car.

♦12.Try to see your children at least two or three times. Make sure that the children are interested and have fun with their dad.

♦13.After meetings with dad, children should always go to mom with new toys and such goodies (cakes, pastries, pizza, fruits, etc.) that the wife herself can treat herself to (forming a pleasant attitude towards her husband and willingness to allow children to see dad).

♦14. When meeting, be attentive and caring to your wife, but under no circumstances should you shower your wife with gifts and flowers. In general, do not show your attitude towards her as a man. Because a husband’s subservience always makes wives disgusted and does not increase respect for him.

♦15.Do not enter your wife’s personal space, do not try to hug her, kiss her, or persuade her to have sex . You can give compliments. If she moves closer on her own, support her very carefully.

♦16.Show your readiness to compromise if you need to change days of communication with children, skip weekends, etc.

♦17.Show the absence in a man’s life of the problem that caused his wife to leave (alcohol, drugs, gambling addiction, parasitism, rudeness, etc.).

♦18. Try to organize communication and meetings with your wife not one-on-one, but in public spaces, so that the woman’s wariness goes away

♦19.Actively show your life on social networks, especially with children. Of course, showing your best side.

♦20. Carefully fulfill your financial obligations to your wife and children . But at the same time, don’t try to buy your wife, don’t shower her with money. Give exactly as much as needed.

Actually, that's all. The point of the scheme is to:

• — It’s nice to surprise your wife so that she quickly forgets about past quarrels!
• - Show her to be a successful man!
• — Seem like a stable man to her!
• - Appear to her as capable of positive changes. Moreover, not only change your behavior for the better, but also maintain yourself in the right state for a long time.
• - Cause a woman to be jealous and afraid of losing her husband.

I want to emphasize - How to get your wife back:

To return a woman's love,

first you need to win back her respect.

This is exactly what my method is designed for.

The totality of all actions should include in the wife the thought: “You shouldn’t rush to part with such a husband, you need such a husband yourself!” As in the famous folk tale: “You need such a cow yourself!” And the wife will return!

I emphasize: A man should not try to deceive his wife! Understand:

It is easy to deceive a woman; she herself is happy to be deceived.

It is important to ensure that everything a husband shows his wife

It turned out to be reality, and a pleasant and stable one at that.

And then you need to be patient. Somewhere for a week, somewhere for two or three months. According to statistics, reconciliation with a departed wife usually occurs within a period of up to three months. But most often - earlier.

When reuniting a family, it is important to agree on fundamental changes in the communication between husband and wife, and then strictly implement the agreements reached. Otherwise, if the husband disappoints his wife’s expectations, she may never return.

This is the general basis of male behavior when his wife returns. To take into account some of the nuances of your family history, you need to work directly with a psychologist. If your couple faces crises and conflicts, I will be happy to give advice from a family psychologist in a personal (in Moscow) or online consultation (via Skype, Viber, WhatsApp or telephone with the whole world).

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Sign #8: Depression

Well, the last sign, which can be quite ambiguous.

If your ex is depressed, constantly in a bad mood, her negative emotions only increase and she seems emotionally broken after the breakup, then this may indicate both that she wants to get back, and that she has made a final decision to break up .

That's all for today. In fact, there can be a lot of such signs, but perhaps the best way to find out is to take a five-minute test. It's completely free. And yes, if you liked it, rate the article 5 stars, this is very important to me. Thank you for watching.

See you soon! Arthur Nikitin