Married but living separately: 6 new relationship formats for those who are disappointed in traditional marriages

We live in a dynamic world in which everything changes very quickly. This applies to absolutely all spheres of human life, including family. People still get married, but their attitude towards it has changed dramatically. Today, more and more often, spouses do not live together, but prefer to rent separate apartments. What this is connected with is not fully known.

Experts argue that the problem lies in changing the public's understanding of the family as a social institution. Average citizens are of the opinion that this is a modern fashion trend. Let's look at what modern forms of marriage exist in the 21st century.

What is traditional marriage?

The vast majority of families cannot answer this question. Because of this, they form the wrong idea about life together and the relationship reaches a dead end. Traditional marriage is a generally accepted norm in which spouses officially certify their relationship, live together and raise children. Despite the fact that it has certain disadvantages, there are still more advantages.

Therefore, this form is the most common throughout the world. But increasingly, people are deviating from classical ideas in favor of non-traditional relationships. Which ones exactly will be described in detail below.

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Maintenance of children born in a guest marriage

As a rule, the care of children born in a guest marriage, and often all financial expenses, is borne by the parent with whom the children live. Often, an oral agreement with the second spouse on child support is not enough for him to fulfill his financial obligations to his own children in a timely manner.

A way out of this situation can be the conclusion between the spouses of an agreement on child support, according to which the spouse who does not live together with the children will pay the second spouse an agreed amount for the maintenance of the children at a certain frequency. Such an agreement requires mandatory notarization. And most importantly, it has the force of an executive document, which allows the recipient of alimony, in the event of the payer’s failure to fulfill its obligations, without going to court, to transfer the case to bailiffs for forced collection of alimony from the debtor.

In the absence of the spouse’s consent to conclude such an agreement peacefully, the second spouse may apply to the court with a demand for payment of child support. Many people believe that applying for alimony can only be done after a divorce, but this is not the case. A legal spouse in an officially registered marriage can also demand alimony payments.

Separate residence of spouses

Being married and living apart today is no longer something surprising. This form of marriage is very popular. In addition to owning different real estate, husband and wife vacation separately from each other, communicate with different people, and meet only occasionally on neutral territory to spend time together.

Sometimes spouses choose this form of relationship due to pressure from external circumstances, such as work. Imagine a situation where a husband runs his own business and needs to conclude a lucrative contract in another country, and the wife, in turn, makes a successful career in her hometown. If both partners are satisfied with seeing each other only on weekends, then they can agree to live separately. Another advantage of this form of creating a family is that spouses do not burden each other with their own problems and have more personal space and freedom.

Taxation issues during separation

According to German law, spouses living together can choose how to tax family income, separately or jointly. Sometimes, the difference when choosing the wrong tax class can easily reach many thousands of euros. In the year of separation there is also a choice between separate or joint taxation.

In a marriage, if there is a large difference in income between spouses, joint taxation is usually chosen. It contributes to paying less taxes.

Once separation begins, the “economically worse off” partner has the right to request a separate tax assessment with a simultaneous change in tax class, which typically results in significant tax refunds on the part of the filer. For the other high-earning spouse, on the other hand, there are often high late payments and additional tax assessments. For this reason, the financially wealthier partner may argue that the spouses continue to have joint taxation in the year of separation.

Thus, the timing of the separation period and each spouse's tax class may result in savings and additional costs. In each specific case, the feasibility of these changes should be assessed.

Open relationship or open marriage

There are many examples of when a guy and a girl love each other and are completely satisfied with everything, but they do not want to get married. An open relationship or an open marriage is more suitable for them. What does it mean? Partners may even be spouses, but each has the right to date and spend time with other members of the opposite sex. As for infidelity, it can either be hidden or be in plain sight. In the latter case, the spouses calmly talk about her and even share their adventures on the side.

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This form of marriage is extremely rare because it is considered immoral. After all, who can be satisfied that their other half has affairs? However, there are several examples among famous personalities and show business stars. For example, Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and musician Chris Martin were in an open marriage for 10 years.

Advantages and disadvantages

Few people can decide to take such a step. This is more suitable for people who value personal freedom and independence. That is why the advantages of entering into such a relationship are specific:

  1. Maximum comfort in personal relationships.
  2. There are no domestic quarrels.
  3. Independence in the management of funds.
  4. Periodic partings strengthen feelings, giving them newness and poignancy when they meet.
  5. The rights associated with marriage remain, but the responsibilities are reduced to a minimum.

Disadvantages of such relationships:

  1. Children's rights are exercised alternately by each parent. The main part of the load falls on one of them.
  2. Often only one spouse can live comfortably in a guest marriage. The second requires attention and care, which he cannot receive. Many people suffer from feelings of loneliness.
  3. The image of a spouse who looks great during periodic meetings often does not correspond to his appearance in everyday life.
  4. Freedom in marital relations gives rise to a feeling of permissiveness, which can lead to infidelity.

Family limited by time slots

This is a new form that appeared a few years ago. Its essence lies in the fact that people do not marry for life, but only for a certain time, for example, 5 or 10 years. During this period, the spouses gain experience about living together and evaluate all the advantages and disadvantages. When it ends, they decide whether to continue the relationship or not.

One thing that can be said in favor of this family option is that the modern world is very changeable. The value system, plans for the future and people themselves are constantly changing. Therefore, what suited them yesterday may seem unnecessary today. Having entered into a marriage for a certain period, spouses can separate without scandals and insults if they feel that their life paths have begun to diverge.

When does the year of separation begin?

There are no specific requirements in the law on how exactly the beginning of the year of separation should be recorded. In principle, the date when one of the spouses tells the other that he wants to separate should be considered the beginning of separation. However, to apply for divorce, you will need to prove in court that the required period of separation has expired (the exact date is indicated in the application). Therefore, depending on the nature of the relationship between the spouses, the date of separation should be recorded.

Options for fixing the start date of separation:

  • do it openly, in front of witnesses;
  • report in writing, through available means of communication;
  • move out and register at a different address;
  • sign a joint agreement;
  • contact a lawyer who will inform the other party about the beginning of the period;
  • other options that will confirm the start date of separation.

If the separation is not by mutual consent, then documenting the start time of the year of separation is especially important. There are times when one of the partners claims that there was no separation or insists on a later date. In order not to delay the start of the divorce process, the second spouse will need to prove the opposite.

A dynamic union based on equality

A traditional family is one in which the man is the breadwinner and the woman does household chores. Unfortunately, this form of marriage is gradually becoming a thing of the past. It is being replaced by relationships in which both partners are equal. Even in Russia, more than 60 percent of families practice equality.

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As a rule, such a union is formed by two mature and accomplished people who decide to start a family in order to seek harmony, happiness and joint development. The disadvantage of this form is that there are no gender differences in it. The spouses do all their business together. In addition, both partners, in most cases, have good jobs and high salaries, so no one's ego and pride suffer.

Such marriages are also called dynamic marriages. The central place in them is the individuality of the husband and wife, so there are no restrictions or infringements in marriage. Everything is based on freedom of choice. You decide for yourself how to live and what to do. This form of relationship is also very common, since most of the rules were adopted from the traditional family. It is adaptable and well suited to many modern people.

What to do in a year of separation

Many couples who want a quick divorce view the year of separation as simply a temporary obstacle. They exclude the possibility of reconciliation with their partner, and consider the period of separation to be a bureaucratic procedure.

Our Law Office recommends taking advantage of this period not only to finally separate from your spouse emotionally, but also to close relationships in other areas of everyday life.

Below we list the most important points that we recommend doing during the year of separation:

Agreements on important issues between spouses


To speed up the actual divorce after a year of separation, you should agree and come to mutual agreement on the following issues:

  • alimony;
  • child custody
  • property issues.

You can agree on important moments in your future life in any form. But, in order for agreements to be subsequently implemented by both parties and to be legally binding, they must be notarized. You can prepare an agreement yourself or by contacting specialists. For example, to a family law lawyer or a notary.

Documents for equalizing pension contributions

In the event of a divorce between spouses, pension contributions are equalized. For such a calculation, documents from the pension insurance institution are required. To speed up the process of divorce, shortly before filing for divorce, it makes sense to request these documents.

Choosing an insurance company

Those who are insured jointly through family insurance, such as health insurance, should think ahead about choosing a new insurance company. A year of separation is the best time.

Documenting your financial situation

The former partner must provide information about the financial situation if requested by the other party's lawyer. In practice, we often encounter the fact that only part of the financial documents are provided. Therefore, our recommendation is to document and make copies of all financial documents in advance. For example, payroll records, insurance contracts or pension documents, as well as accounts, deposits and/or loan agreements, etc.

Virtual relationships

Nowadays, social networks are used mainly for dating, but in the future, it is quite possible that we will switch to virtual relationships. This trend is becoming more and more rooted in society every year. Because they are too busy or for some other reason, the guy and the girl are content to date at a distance.

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This form is very similar to the separation of spouses, but with it the partners do not meet in person and do not spend time together. The interaction takes place entirely via the Internet. What is the reason for this and why are people satisfied with such relationships? Experts find it difficult to give a definite answer. Perhaps people are simply afraid of losing their freedom or becoming dependent on another person. Virtual relationships have more disadvantages than advantages. While wearing them, you will not be able to fully feel your partner, which makes communication incomplete.

Rules of conduct for spouses during the year of separation


It is necessary to follow certain rules of behavior throughout the entire period of separation. The Family Court will only recognize a couple as separated if they no longer form a family. This is called the "table and bed" separation.

Essentially, one of the spouses must leave the joint home. But eviction from housing and therefore separation, according to §1567 of the Civil Code (BGB), is not mandatory.

Living in the same residential premises is allowed subject to certain rules. This means a complete separation of all household chores. Separate meals, cooking, accommodation in different rooms. The relationship will resemble life in a hostel, with all the ensuing consequences.

Spouses can organize joint events, generally only if they have children. It is advisable, in such exceptional cases, to consult with a family law attorney.

The burden of proving a year of separation lies with the spouse who wants the divorce.

To what extent a couple follows the above rules is a personal matter. As a rule, the family court does not control the factual situation, but relies on the testimony of the spouses themselves. A problem may arise when one of the partners does not want a divorce.

Singlelist

This term suggests that a person has made a conscious decision to be alone. Oddly enough, modern people experience a lack of communication due to the too busy rhythm of life, but there are also those who cut themselves off from society. There are many reasons for this: disappointment in the opposite sex, fear of responsibility, economic feasibility, etc.

Previously, marriages between men and women were concluded because it was much easier to survive together. But in the 21st century the situation is completely different. Today it’s much easier to live alone because you don’t have to provide for anyone. That's why people choose the singlelist form. Statistics show that its share around the world is growing every year.

In what cases is this mode installed?

The separation of spouses in a marriage can cause divorce. If one of the spouses does not live in the family home and does not participate in the life of the second spouse, then there can be no talk of a marriage union . This is the first time that it is necessary to establish a separation regime.

The second common scenario is that spouses who live separately wish to divide their property. Here it will be taken into account when, who and to what extent invested money in a particular object that they want to divide.

Separate residence affects the status of property; here personal property may arise that cannot be divided.

A separation regime is also often established when a href=»https://ksprf.com/zakluchenie-braka/grazhdanskiy/rebenok.html»>children are born out of wedlock, or children are born in marriage, but the parents live separately. Then the question arises of paternity and recording the full name on the child’s birth certificate.

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