Divorce through court - reasons, rights of the parties, details of the procedure

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Published: 10/23/2016

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The wedding scenario is approximately the same for all happy couples.

The same cannot be said about divorce proceedings.

Former spouses cannot even explain to themselves the reason for the separation, but it must be indicated in the divorce application. And for the court there is no argument “love has passed.” How to file a claim without emotions according to the letter of the law?

• Divorce from a legal point of view
• Reasons for divorce in statements of claim Personal motives
• Is it worth disclosing the fact of betrayal?
• Intimate question
• Iceberg of everyday life
• Financial difficulties

Divorce - definition of the concept

Divorce refers to the official dissolution of a marriage between spouses. Moreover, divorce can only be effected between a living husband and wife. If at least one of the parties is declared dead, there will be talk of ending the marriage on the basis of the death of one of the couple.

Also, in order to talk about divorce, it is necessary that the marriage be concluded in compliance with the current legislation. If this rule is violated, then the process of severing such family ties will be called “nullification of the marriage.”

Reasons of a sexual nature

Bringing such details up for discussion is contrary to generally accepted moral standards.
It is extremely rare, but sometimes this kind of formulation occurs. Husband/wife dissatisfaction with their partner is becoming an increasingly common reason for marriage dissolution.

However, experts recommend refraining from pointing out such reasons. They have no legal basis, because... the provisions of the Family Code do not talk about the sexual life of partners, therefore, the court will not be able to describe the motivational part of the verdict. In addition, bringing up such details for discussion is contrary to generally accepted moral standards.

Laws governing divorce proceedings

The key legal acts that define the fundamental principles of the divorce process in Russia are (SC) and codes (CC).

Thus, the Family Code of the Russian Federation, for example, indicates what issues the court resolves in divorce proceedings. Since a divorce can be effected, including through the civil registry office, it is important to understand in which cases it is necessary to go to court, and in which cases it will be enough to visit the registry office.

The main conditions for filing a divorce in court are the presence of common minor children, as well as property contradictions. The RF IC states that disagreements regarding the division of joint property are resolved only by filing a statement of claim. The situation is similar with other financial disputes between spouses.

Also, the case is considered in court if the husband or wife is officially recognized as incompetent, or one of them is sentenced to imprisonment for a term of more than three years.

In addition to the IC and the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, certain aspects of the divorce procedure are prescribed in the Codes of the Russian Federation and various by-laws.

You can learn more about the cases in which a marriage is dissolved in court from a lawyer. The specialist will tell you what to do correctly in your particular case. Preliminary consultation will allow you to avoid many mistakes and protect your rights as much as possible.

What to pay attention to

When resolving conflicts between adults, do not forget about the small members of the family. It is necessary to resolve issues not only about where they will live, but also about the payment of child support by the second parent. This obligation to support children until adulthood is prescribed in Article 80 of the RF IC.

If a claim for alimony is filed, payments are assigned as a share of the payer’s basic earnings or as a fixed amount. The second option is considered when a man does not have a permanent job or the amount of interest violates his interests.

When the spouses have an unresolved issue regarding the ownership of jointly acquired property, the court decides this too. The division of property can be discussed either at a separate meeting or as part of the divorce process.

Information about what things, savings and real estate belong to joint ownership is contained in Article 34 of the RF IC. It will not be possible to simply seize an apartment from your husband during a divorce.

What rights do spouses have during a divorce?

First, let's figure out who the plaintiff and defendant are in a divorce. A plaintiff is a person who files a claim in court demanding protection of his rights, that is, in our case, it is either a spouse or a husband. The second party to the dispute - the person against whom the claim is made - accordingly, acts as a defendant in this case.

Moreover, each of the parties, regardless of who initiated the proceedings in court, has not only obligations, but also rights. These may be personal property or non-property rights, as well as parental rights to joint children.

Find out more about the rights of spouses during divorce.

Lawyer's answers to frequently asked questions

What should the plaintiff say in court?

The plaintiff must argue the stated reasons, provide other arguments and provide evidence. Nothing more is required from him. If a closed meeting is being held and the issue of intimate life is being considered, it is recommended to express thoughts as correctly as possible. Insults, humiliations, shouting and scandals are not allowed in court.

Is it possible to give a fictitious reason? What are the consequences of this?

No you can not. The plaintiff bears civil liability for the information presented in the claim. If the defendant's honor and dignity are violated as a result, the plaintiff may be prosecuted for libel. All reasons must be supported by documents, video and audio recordings, or testimony. Without this, they are not taken into account by the court.

Art. 128.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Slander”

Is violation of a prenuptial agreement considered valid grounds for divorce?

A marriage contract regulates property issues, while a family involves interpersonal relationships. Breach of contract can cause discord, but this factor is not taken into account in divorce.

Divorce and children

The presence of minor children among spouses significantly complicates the divorce process, because in this case the issue of the principles of joint custody of the child will be acute. Who will the baby live with, how will each parent participate in his upbringing, how will financial responsibility be distributed between the ex-husband and wife?

The best outcome in this difficult situation will be a divorce through a magistrates' court - in this case, the parent who was determined by mutual consent of the parties will remain with the children.

But such a step becomes possible only if the spouses manage to agree on all key issues relating to common children, as well as property and non-property interests. Otherwise, you will have to seek help from a regular district/city court, which will study the materials and make its own decision regarding the satisfaction of the claims of the parties to the dispute.

Thus, if a divorce through the court without children is not always necessary, then in cases where spouses have a common child, it will definitely not be possible to separate without involving the court.

It is also important to remember that the answer to the question of where exactly you will have to file your application also depends on the size of your financial claims against each other. In this regard, some cases will be subject to the jurisdiction of the magistrate's court, while others will be subject to higher jurisdiction.

Find out more about the specifics of divorce if you have minor children.

What to do if you are about to get a divorce

Not in every situation the legal termination of a marital relationship will be a simple and quick procedure. Therefore, it makes sense to find out in advance what divorce is and what stages it includes. If you do not know whether in your case you can limit yourself to visiting the registry office, then you should either consult on this issue with the civil registry office itself, or talk to a lawyer.

Let's consider the procedure for divorce through the court.

Application to court

The first step to initiating divorce proceedings is drawing up and filing an application with the court. The document is drawn up in free form, that is, the plaintiff can talk about the essence of the requirements in his own words, trying as much as possible to adhere to the business tone of the letter.

The document consists of three parts. In the first, the citizen must provide basic information about himself and his other half - full name, date of birth, time and place of marriage. It is imperative to talk about the presence/absence of joint children and their dates of birth.

In the second part, you will need to explain what caused the divorce. And also report whether there are disputes between the parties regarding property, upbringing and maintenance of children. The information should be presented briefly, but all the key points that can convince the court that you are right should be spelled out in as much detail as possible. An experienced lawyer will tell you how to fill out the application correctly.

The final third part should contain a list of your demands on the defendant. As evidence, it is important to attach as impressive a package of documents as possible.

View a sample petition for divorce:

Which court should I go to?

The first thing you will need to understand is the jurisdiction of the court. According to the RF IC, you can go to the magistrate’s court if:

1. Husband and wife are unanimous in their desire to separate.
2. One of the partners wants to get a divorce.
3. The couple has no material claims against each other, or the disputes are around an amount not exceeding 50 thousand rubles.
4. There are no disputes regarding the upbringing and financial support of children.

As for which magistrate’s court an application for divorce must be filed with, according to the rules, the plaintiff must apply to the authority corresponding to the defendant’s place of residence.

If, for objective reasons, it is more convenient for the plaintiff to file an application with the court at the place of his registration, then the law will not be against it. Extenuating circumstances include poor health or the presence of a small child.

Now let's talk about which court hears divorce cases when the circumstances of the case do not meet the requirements to resolve the problem through a magistrate judge. In such cases, the law prescribes going to a district or city court, since they are at a higher level in their powers and have the ability, in particular, to consider cases of property disputes regarding large sums. Which court you can go to in a divorce will also depend on where the defendant lives.

What documents will be needed

The package of documents that will need to be attached to the statement of claim includes both a standard list and those that may be needed in a specific situation. The first list includes, for example, copies of the parties’ passports, documents for the child, and a marriage certificate. The second may include, for example, evidence confirming that the defendant was convicted and is serving a sentence.

Divorce procedure

The first stage of the divorce process through the court is filing a statement of claim. This can be done independently or with the help of a qualified specialist. If disputes between spouses affect the “children issue” and financial relationships, then you clearly cannot do without help.

After this, it will be necessary to take the claim to court. The filing rules established by law allow, in particular, to send documents by registered mail or submit them through your official representative.

Next, the judge will consider the application and make a decision on it. If the result does not satisfy the plaintiff, then it will be possible to try to appeal the verdict to a higher jurisdiction through the appellate and cassation procedures.

• These include neglect and mistreatment.
• The Church wants to be fair
• Why was Jesus silent about the injured party's right to divorce?
• Didn't Jesus only allow one ground for divorce?
• The Apostle Paul taught four grounds for divorce
• Defining Biblical Grounds for Divorce
• How to define “marital love”?
• So what should we tell victims of abuse?
• Behind the façade
• Conclusion: God Knows Our Secret Sufferings

Chapter 8. Four Biblical Grounds for Divorce

These include neglect and mistreatment.

I once received an email containing the following story:

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I was an adult Sunday School teacher at a Baptist church, and our pastor once invited me to a board of deacons that was about to hear a difficult case. One young woman was constantly threatened by her alcoholic husband. One day, when she was visiting her sister, he came for her with a gun. She ran out into the field, where he caught up with her, knocked her to the ground, put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger - but the gun misfired. He served several months in county jail. The pastor explained to me that our church has a strict and uncompromising view on divorce, namely that divorce is always a sin, and therefore we must advise this woman to reconcile with her husband after his release from prison. When I thought about it, I could not even imagine that God could demand such a thing from this woman, and so I told them so. As a result, it was decided that she had the right to live separately from him, but did not have the right to divorce him, and therefore was obliged to live in this situation until his death. I decided that this was still better for her than staying with her husband, but I was not completely sure that even such a decision was correct.

Although cases like this are extreme, any Christian counselor will tell you that abuse in marriage is very widespread and that large numbers of people live in fear under the roof of their own homes. A husband or wife who is the victim of physical abuse or emotional torture at the hands of their partner lives as if they are in a double prison cell with their worst enemy. As much as we might like to believe otherwise, this happens in Christian homes too, although it would be difficult to give precise statistics since people are often too embarrassed to admit it, even to a friend or relative.

The Church wants to be fair

The Church could not really understand what to do in such situations for many centuries. Origen, the greatest of the church fathers who lived in the early 3rd century AD, wrote about this directly in his comments on Matthew 17. He wondered why Jesus did not allow a husband to divorce a wife who tried to poison him or who killed him. one of his children, because “it would be illogical to endure such a monstrous sin, which seems much more serious than adultery or fornication.” Although he could not understand how such a thing could be righteous or just, Origen concluded that we should still be obedient to the teachings of Jesus, since to do otherwise would be “wicked.”

Nowadays, most Christian teachers will say something like this: “I know this sounds harsh, but unless your believing spouse has committed adultery, the New Testament clearly tells us to continue to stay together and trust God, who tied the knot between you." Andrew Cornes, who has written a wonderful book in support of this traditional church teaching, makes one exception - he says that if, as a result of abuse, your life is already in danger, then you are allowed not to live together, although you cannot divorce at all equals. Others extend this exception to all cases of mistreatment. We may be sympathetic to this way of dealing with the problem—after all, it does seem fairer to the victim of abuse to allow separation, although not divorce—but it is not a biblical solution.

A married couple cannot separate from each other without divorce because the Apostle Paul specifically said that married couples should not be separated (1 Cor. 7:10-11). So if we take the traditional interpretation of the New Testament seriously, then no one has the right to separate from a spouse, even if he treats her/him badly.

We have already seen that God gave clear and just laws in the Old Testament to limit the destruction caused by the sin of neglect and abuse: the injured party had the right to decide whether he wanted the marriage to end or not. Would God actually abandon this wise and practical approach in New Testament times, or does it continue to be a principle that can guide the church today? In this chapter we learn that neither Jesus nor the Apostle Paul renounced these Old Testament principles, and the Apostle Paul's words suggest that he believes they are still valid today.

Why was Jesus silent about the injured party's right to divorce?

It seems surprising that Jesus would ignore such an important ethical principle established in the Old Testament, especially by giving such serious warnings about neglecting even the smallest of commandments. The time the Pharisees ask Him about divorce "for any reason" would be a great opportunity to say something, because as we saw in chapter 5, Jesus took this opportunity to tell them about many different aspects of the doctrine of marriage and divorce, even those about which they did not ask Him. He took the opportunity to tell them about the ideal of lifelong marriage, that divorce is never forced, and that marriage is not forced, and also taught about monogamy and, of course, the correct interpretation of “any cause of sexual immorality.” - that this phrase means nothing more than “sexual immorality” (or “adultery”), and not some other “any reason.” So if Jesus believed that neglect and abuse were valid grounds for divorce, why didn't he say anything about it?

The most likely reason that He said nothing about it—or said something but the gospel writers didn't think it was important enough to write down—is that it was so generally accepted that it didn't even need to be discussed. There are several other generally accepted truths that Jesus does not mention anywhere, such as the doctrine of the oneness of God. Everyone agreed on the doctrine of the unity of God, so Jesus had no need to teach about it. He also didn't say anything about rape or manslaughter, but that doesn't mean He doesn't care about the victims of those crimes.

The topics that Jesus spoke about (marriage is optional, divorce is not mandatory in the case of adultery, polygamy is unacceptable, and neither is divorce “for any reason”) were areas where His teaching ran counter to the teaching of either all or some of the Jews 1st century AD There was no dispute over the validity of neglect or abuse as grounds for divorce in any

ancient Jewish document of that time, for the same reason that there was no debate about the unity of God - these were principles with which everyone tacitly agreed.
Jesus' silence regarding grounds for divorce such as neglect or abuse does not indicate that Jesus did not recognize their validity, but rather that He accepted
them, as did all the other Jews of his time.

Didn't Jesus only allow one ground for divorce?

If Jesus recognized other grounds for divorce, what about His assertion that there is only one

the real reason for divorce when He said (in Matt. 19:9 and parallel passages) that there could be no divorce "except for the guilt of adultery"?

Although at first glance this seems like a contradiction, it is only so if Jesus meant that adultery is the only ground for divorce in all of Scripture.

while from the gospels it appears that adultery is the only cause spoken of
in Deut. 24-1.
As we saw in chapter 5, the gospels record the entire discussion as if it pertained only to the divorces of Deut. 24:1.

First, the Pharisees open the discussion with the question: “Is it permissible to divorce your wife “for any reason”? - which directly pointed to the ambiguous phrase from Deut. 24:1, “for any reason of sexual immorality.” Also, the Pharisees’ question “is it permissible to divorce your wife...

"indicated that they were specifically interested in divorce, which could only be initiated by a man.
Since divorce on the grounds given in Exodus 21 could be initiated by either
a man
or
a woman, the question shows that they were interested in the grounds of divorce specifically given in Deut. 24:1, because such a divorce could only be initiated by a man.

As we learned in chapter 5, Jesus initially ignored the question and began to talk about marriage—a topic He considered more important than divorce—but the Pharisees again tried to bring the conversation back to Deuteronomy 24:1 by reminding Jesus of the “letter of divorce.” The bill of divorce is mentioned only in this place, and is not found in Exodus 21 or anywhere else in the entire Law of Moses. All this indicates that the Pharisees wanted only one thing from Jesus - a specific answer about how to properly understand the phrase “for any reason of sexual immorality” in Deut. 24:1.

Jesus gave them this answer, and they immediately understood it, because it was the same as that of those Pharisees who followed the teaching of Shammai, and who said that divorce on the basis of Deut. 24:1 is invalid, “except for the guilt of adultery.” , i.e. A divorce “for adultery” is valid, but a divorce “for any reason” is not.

When the followers of Shammai said that there is no divorce "except for the guilt of adultery," they did not mean that they rejected the validity of other biblical grounds for divorce, because we have records of their disputes with the followers of Hillel about these other grounds - about neglect of providing food and clothing. This debate is not about whether it is permissible

whether divorce was based on neglect of marital duties - this was generally accepted - but about what exactly was considered neglect. They argued about what minimum amounts of food and clothing should be provided, and what amount of "conjugal love" was necessary to avoid being guilty of "neglecting" one's spouse.

It is a little surprising that in the Talmud, some rabbis about a century later believed that the early followers of Shammai actually denied all grounds for divorce in Scripture except sexual immorality. These rabbis lived approximately 200 years after the Shammai cause died out, so their mistake is understandable. By that time, all the Jews had already followed the teachings of Hillel and had long forgotten what the followers of Shammai taught. They quoted their slogan - "nothing but the guilt of adultery" - taking it to mean "this is the only kind of divorce in all Scripture

"
They forgot that the original context of the Shammaite slogan was a controversy over the types of divorce specified only in Deut. 24:1.
Christian interpreters have made the same mistake when interpreting Jesus' words. Like later rabbis, they forgot (or did not understand) that the context of the phrase “nothing but the guilt of adultery” is an answer to the question of the meaning of Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus used the same phrase as the followers of Shammai in the same context (the Deut. 24:1 controversy), with the same people (the Pharisees) and at the same time and place (1st century AD Palestine). .e.). So we are forced to conclude that both Jesus and the followers of Shammai meant the same thing, i.e. “in Deut.24:1

only one valid ground for divorce is given.”
Neither He nor the followers of Shammai meant that " in all Scripture
there is only one valid reason for divorce."

We have concluded that Jesus' words in Matthew 19:9 (and parallel ones) exclude only divorce "for any reason," but does this mean that He accepts the grounds for divorce given in Exodus 21:10–11? Based on the reasoning of this chapter, perhaps we can assume that He accepted them, because if He did not, He would have specifically said so. This law given in Exodus is not as self-evident for us as it was for the Jews who lived in the 1st century AD, therefore this conclusion does not seem so self-evident to us. Fortunately, the Apostle Paul refers to it specifically.

The Apostle Paul taught four grounds for divorce

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul refers to the three grounds for divorce from Exodus 21 when he answers the Corinthians' question about leaving their spouses (see chapter 6).

Exodus 21:10:

“If he takes another for him, then she should not be deprived of food, clothing and marital cohabitation.”

He reminded those who wanted to end a physical relationship with their husband or wife that they had taken an oath to share "marital cohabitation" with each other (verses 3-5), and later in the same chapter when he talks about what is best in Given the current famine, putting off wedding plans, he reminded them that marriage includes a promise to clothe and feed their partner—he calls this “taking care of the things of this world, how to please” each other (verses 32–34).

Readers of Paul's letter would instantly recognize these words as a reference to these grounds for divorce, even if they were not Jewish, because this became the ground for divorce in both Greek and Roman law. This law spread throughout the known world thanks first to the Babylonian and then the Persian empires, then came into Greek culture and, finally, into Roman law. These three grounds for divorce were written down in both Jewish and Greco-Roman marriage contracts. This meant that if you suffered neglect from your husband or wife, you could sue in any court - Roman, rabbinical, Egyptian, or, for all we know, any

another civilized country of the 1st century AD.

Therefore, although Paul does not specifically say that neglect in these three areas can be grounds for divorce, the fact that he speaks of them as marital responsibilities means that he accepted and agreed to them. The text of Scripture from which they originate (Exodus 21:10-11) speaks specifically about the freedom of a person from such a marriage in which he is neglected - i.e. the fact that they are marital duties is the secondary meaning of the text, the primary meaning is precisely that this is a basis for divorce. If Paul had not accepted them as grounds for divorce, he would not have used these verses in his teaching on marital responsibilities.

Along with these three grounds for divorce, Paul also seems to have accepted divorce in cases of adultery. Although he does not specifically say it, most scholars believe that he permitted it because Jesus permitted it. Another reason to believe that he allowed it is that like the above three grounds, adultery was also a generally accepted ground for divorce. Therefore, as with all other biblical reasons for divorce, Paul would have to be specific about his disagreement with them if he did not want believers to take them for granted.

Paul says virtually nothing about divorce itself, and he may have deliberately avoided the topic so that his teaching would inspire hope. By emphasizing marital duties, he hoped that the need for divorce on the grounds of violation of them would never arise. Of course, such a need should not be

arise if believers follow his teachings.
Was he clearly emphasizing that Christians should not be the source of family destruction? And so he emphasized the four biblical marital duties
rather than the four biblical grounds for divorce, hoping that the need for divorce would not arise.
Of course, it should not
arise if believers follow his teachings.

However, Paul did not expect unbelievers to obey this teaching and, as we saw in chapter 6, he told believers that if they were abandoned by their unbelieving spouses, they were “not bound” (1 Cor. 7:15). As we will see in the next chapter, this phrase refers to divorce, i.e. Paul tells believers that they can view abandonment as a valid divorce. He doesn't say why, but it was obvious to any reader living in the 1st century AD, and it is obvious to us now as we understand the principles of Exodus 21:10 - if a person has been abandoned, he has the right to divorce on the grounds of neglect .

To summarize the above, the Apostle Paul accepted all four Old Testament grounds for divorce. He accepted “unfaithfulness” as a basis because Jesus allowed it (Deut. 24:1) and he also accepted “neglect in the provision of food, clothing and marital cohabitation” of Exodus 21:10–11.

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Defining Biblical Grounds for Divorce

How can we define and apply these four grounds for divorce now in the 21st century?

What “infidelity” is, of course, is clear to everyone, although sometimes it is too easy to condemn adultery and not pay attention to the fact that neglect on the other hand could cause alienation, and then lead to adultery. Although neglect on the part of one spouse does not justify adultery by the other, it is important to realize that the blame usually does not lie solely with one party.

“Providing food and clothing” is summed up by Paul in the words “to care for” and “to please” one another (1 Cor. 7:32,34). As we saw in chapter 6, Paul does not set clear rules for determining the right amount of care (as the rabbis did), but says that our goal is to please one another, which means that he was more important than motives, i.e. a desire to care rather than legalistic details.

Defining “providing marital cohabitation” is more difficult than for other marital duties, especially if someone is using it as grounds for divorce. The rabbis went to great lengths to determine how many times a husband should make love to his wife, establishing different permissible breaks for different professions. Most men were required to perform their duty twice a week, although donkey "drivers" were only allowed to do so once a week (because they often had to leave home for several days to deliver goods), and the unemployed were required to perform their duty every

night.

There were no such rules for women, perhaps because the rabbis considered them insatiable creatures who constantly pestered their husbands.

The rabbis were reluctant to allow divorce on the basis of refusal to fulfill the duty of "conjugal love" and in such cases tried to resolve the conflict by talking to the "offender" or by imposing gradually increasing fines. Therefore, if a woman constantly refused her husband, the rabbinical court decided to reduce her ketubah

(matrimonial inheritance), and if the husband refused, the court decided to increase her
ketubah
a little every week.

We can find the principles behind such demands because a husband who never allows his wife to buy cosmetics, medicine or any entertainment items such as books or CDs has not, strictly speaking, neglected to provide food and clothing. Likewise, a man who makes love to his wife once a week but never shows her any attention or affection is fulfilling his duty of “conjugal cohabitation,” but it would be too legalistic to say that he is meeting her needs. The principle behind “food and clothing” can be called “material provision”, and the principle behind “conjugal love” can be called “physical affection”. When neglect begins to cause harm, it is called abuse—neglect of material support can become physical harm, and neglect of physical affection can become emotional harm.

How to define “marital love”?

The Apostle Paul does not specify the frequency of marital love or suggest penalties for failure to engage in it, as the rabbis did, but he does tell both partners that they should view marital love as if it were a duty the spouses owed each other (1 Cor. 7). :3–5). Paul in no way says that anyone has the right to demand

marital love, but says that spouses
owe
each other such support because love is what we give, not what we take.

The term “marital cohabitation” should not be defined as narrowly as “sexual intercourse” because it may be impractical and inappropriate in cases of illness or potential harm. Physical affection can be shown in many different ways, and often a warm hug will be valued much more highly than sexual intercourse.

The most difficult question is how far the principle of “physical affection” should be extended. The word for "cohabitation" in Hebrew in Exodus 21:10 (onata

) is very difficult to translate because it is very rare, but the most accurate translation would be “conjugal love,” and that is how the rabbis interpreted it. We can accept their interpretation as an indication of its meaning, partly because they had access to ancient traditions of understanding the word, but mainly because neither Jesus nor Paul saw the need to correct anything in their understanding on this issue. The rabbis expanded this concept of "love" to include respect because they allowed a woman to divorce a husband who asked her to do humiliating things or if he did not allow her to visit her relatives. Peter may have had this understanding of respect or honor in mind when he said, “In the same way, husbands, treat your wives wisely, as the weaker vessel, showing them honor” (1 Pet. 3:7).

What about couples who have "fallen out of love" with each other - can they get divorced on the grounds of lack of "love"? It would be quite difficult to say how our modern understanding of “being in love” fits into the texts of the Bible, although one might perhaps conclude that this is what we are talking about when we talk about “physical affection”. However, when we remember that Jesus emphasized that divorce could only occur in cases of "hard-hearted" violation of marital vows, it follows that He would be against divorce simply because someone has "fallen out of love" with someone else. and there is no violation of marital vows or harm caused to either spouse.

Therefore, although the obligation to provide “spousal love” in Exodus 21:10 can be seen as a principle of “physical affection” or perhaps even “respect,” it should not be extended so far as to weaken the understanding of marriage as a lifelong union. Marriage is based on promises, not just feelings. When the heat of passion cools, it is not a sign that the marriage is coming to an end, it is a sign that the marriage needs nurturing. No one sells their home just because the heating system needs repairs!

So what should we tell victims of abuse?

Now that we understand that the grounds for divorce in the Bible include the principles of material support and physical affection, what should we say to a woman who is married to an abusive man? First, we can tell her that God's law takes his sin into account. God's ideal in marriage is for husband and wife to be faithful to each other and, as we learned in the Old Testament, to care for each other by providing food, clothing, and marital love. If these vows are broken, grounds for divorce arise.

Since there is no question that an abusive husband is "neglecting" the responsibility to provide for her, she should understand that she has

the right to divorce him, since Paul recognized divorces in cases where unbelievers neglected their spouses. This also applies to Christians who break their marital vows - just because Paul hoped Christians would not behave in this way does not mean that they are incapable of it; Paul simply expected better from them.

We must not forget, however, that Jesus emphasized forgiveness, as we saw in chapter 5, so we should not advise a woman to divorce her husband the first time he breaks his vows. However, if he continues to sin hard-heartedly (that is, stubbornly and without repentance), Jesus said that she could divorce him. In practice, we need to rely on the person to decide when he can't take it anymore, because we can't know everything that happens within a marriage. We cannot know how much mental pain a person experiences and even physical cruelty often remains invisible or unspoken.

Behind the façade

We will never know how many of our friends return home to desperate and sometimes dangerous circumstances. The façade of a “happy” marriage is often maintained by the entire family because they are ashamed to admit that something is wrong. A highly respected and successful man may return home to scold or beat his wife and children, while a modest, quiet woman may date her lover regularly or attack her husband with violent hostility on any occasion. But these are stereotypes, and no one looking from the outside can ever guess what is happening behind closed doors.

One man told me, rather shyly, about his past wife, who on the outside was a respected and reserved woman, but at home everything was as she wanted thanks to her terrible character. If it seemed to her that her husband was not fulfilling her demands quickly enough, she began to scream and hit with everything that came to hand. He was brought up to understand that you shouldn't lay a hand on women, so he just tried to defend himself while she beat him until her anger subsided or she got tired. Three times she broke his arm, which he tried to hide behind. Once she even managed to break his leg - although I don’t understand how - and he didn’t even tell me at the hospital what really happened.

He did not divorce his wife because he believed that a Christian should not divorce on the grounds of abuse. One day, when he was once again in the hospital, his friend from another church told him that one day she would most likely kill him, and God could not have meant that this was His will. He listened to his friend’s advice, left her, and then divorced her. When he did this, his church rejected him because they knew nothing of her cruelty, and they began to consider her the unfortunate victim of a completely baseless divorce. The story has a happy ending - he found another wife and is now enjoying a wonderful life together. Without a doubt, God blessed his new marriage, and he and his wife are now active members of another church.

There is another example of a false facade from real life. The pastor of a large church often abused his wife. She suffered injuries severe enough to end up in the hospital more than once. His ministry was blessed with many converts and a large congregation, but his “happy” married life was a sham. Not many people know what his wife went through, but God does.

Only God truly knows the heart and as Jesus said, evil comes from within and loves darkness. We cannot leave the right to decide when a marriage is over and when not to the pastor or church leadership - this can only be determined by the affected people themselves, in prayer before the Lord. Only they and the Lord know what their life really is. Only they know whether their spouses are remorseful, and only they have to live with the consequences of their decision.

Conclusion: God Knows Our Secret Sufferings

Our Lord knows the problems we face in our homes, the things we never allow others to see because it is shameful. People often feel that they are somehow forcing their partner to be abusive or adulterous, and sometimes this may be partly true, but it does not justify it. Often we can do something to heal the situation, but sometimes nothing can be done, and our Lord knows this too.

God gave us a very realistic law in the Old Testament, and He didn't throw it away when Jesus came to change us. We have not all been changed into His image, and our world will still remain full of sin until His Kingdom fills the earth and every knee bows to Jesus. Until then, we still need some of the God-given laws of the Old Testament: laws about murder, about causing harm, about neglect and abuse in marriage. The details of these laws do not always translate literally into our society, but Jesus emphasized the principles and summarized them (which we looked at in detail in chapter 4).

“God is not a ruler who sits on His high throne in isolation, ignorant of the suffering of His people. He hurts with us, even when we are forced to divorce, because He had to go through this too. God loves you and knows your suffering. He wants to help you, and so He has given us practical laws to help you deal with your pain.” - Here

What do we say to a person suffering from neglect or abuse in a marriage.

Table of contents

When can the court refuse a divorce?

The state tries to help preserve the integrity of families, but at the same time respects the rights and freedoms of citizens. As a result, we can talk about only two situations when the court can refuse to satisfy a claim for divorce.

In the first case, a good reason will be the violated order of the divorce process through the court. So, for example, in the event of a divorce due to the recognition of the other half as incompetent, you must first wait for the relevant court decision to enter into force, and only then go to the registry office or court with the intention of separating.

The second reason why a plaintiff may receive a refusal is stated in Art. 17 RF IC. According to it, the husband does not have the right to demand divorce from his wife if she is pregnant. The same article notes that the requirement for a man to remain legally part of the family remains until the child reaches one year of age. Only after this the couple will be able to count on a decision of the magistrate on divorce or a similar decision from a court of general jurisdiction.

Financial and other material reasons

Financial and other material reasons
Often the reason for divorce is the lack of desire on the part of the second spouse to participate in replenishing the family budget. If these are temporary difficulties, they are usually not given such categorical attention. The court will accept financial reasons as sufficient for divorce only if the party to the case deliberately avoids working or cannot engage in it due to alcoholism, drug addiction or other similar reasons.

In this case, there is no need to work on streamlined and “soft” formulations. You can talk about your intentions like this: “I consider it impossible to continue married life, because... The spouse, by his actions, puts the family in a difficult financial situation. He deliberately avoids paid work, making no effort to replenish the family budget. As a result, it is not possible to provide adequate support for our children, because... My income alone is not enough for this.”

Submitting an application unilaterally

In order for a married couple to officially dissolve a marriage, the will of at least one of the parties is sufficient. Therefore, in cases where one of the spouses opposes separation or does not have the desire or opportunity to express his opinion, the other party can draw up and submit the necessary documents.

As for how to file an application for divorce in court without a wife or without a husband, everything is quite simple. For these disputes, a special application form No. 9 is provided, which, unlike form No. 8, is drawn up not from a couple, but from one person. Filing an application and the mechanism for its consideration in court is identical to the procedures already described above.

Below are the forms of Form No. 8 and Form No. 9.

Find out more about how to file for unilateral divorce.

Payment of state duty

Like most legal procedures, registration and divorce require payment to be transferred to the state budget. In this way, you will be able to reimburse the services for preparing new documentation and making adjustments to the old one. Payment of the fee is required regardless of the authority through which you will carry out the divorce process. Please note that without a receipt confirming the fact of the money transfer, your application will not be accepted or considered.

Find out about the amount of state fees for divorce.

Reasons for divorce in a statement of claim for divorce: examples

Let's look at the reasons

and the wording indicates couples upon termination of official relations:

1. The wife shows increased interest in individuals of the opposite sex. After work, she returns suspiciously late and is often seen in the company of unfamiliar men. I consider such behavior incompatible with marriage.
2. The husband has been avoiding looking for work for a long time, does not support his family and does not raise children. Because of this, serious financial problems arose.
3. I demand a divorce from my husband due to systematic physical abuse of me and my child. As evidence of the beating, I enclose witness statements and a certificate listing the injuries received.

Division of property during divorce

Any property disputes surrounding material wealth acquired jointly in marriage must be resolved in court. Settlement or general jurisdiction - will depend on the amount in dispute and the ability of the parties to reach a consensus.

When solving this problem, the following points will be taken into account:

1. Presence of minor children in the family.
2. The degree of participation of the parties in increasing the well-being of the family.
3. The presence of benefits received by each party under gratuitous transactions (for example, under a gift agreement, under a will).

Find out more about the division of property during divorce.

How long does it take to get a divorce?

It is impossible to say exactly how long after submitting the application you can consider yourself officially free from marital ties. The regulations indicate only an approximate range of 1-3 months, but the real result will depend on the scale of disagreements in the couple and the willingness of the parties to negotiate.

Find out more about how long a divorce can last.

If you have to divorce a foreigner

The procedure for annulment of a marriage with a citizen of another country is practically no different from the divorce process with a Russian. The only thing that may cause difficulty is determining the place of filing the application and notifying the defendant that the second spouse wants to officially end the relationship.

Thus, Russian spouses often ask lawyers where a marriage with a foreign spouse living outside of Russia can be dissolved. If the registration of a family union was carried out in the Russian Federation, then the divorce must be carried out on the territory of the country. Accordingly, the application can be submitted, for example, at the place of the foreign citizen’s last known residence in Russia. You can also ask for assistance from the diplomatic mission of the Russian Federation in the state where the other party lives.

Statistics in the Russian Federation

The indicators showing the number of broken families relative to the number of marriages are disappointing. The divorce rate fluctuates every year, but a significant reduction has not been achieved.

Photo: statistics of the causes of divorce in the Russian Federation

As an example, the data for the period from 2010 to 2015 is given:

The table clearly shows the dynamics of divorces in recent years, according to which (despite some improvement in the situation in 2011), the general trend is still that more than half of marriages concluded in Russia break up.

Divorce from a convicted spouse

As we have already said, the RF IC stipulates that if one of the spouses is convicted for a term of three years or more, the second has the right to file for divorce and fully expect that the court will satisfy his claim. The general requirements for the annulment process will be the same as for divorces on other grounds. However, there is one exception - in such situations, the plaintiff can count on the fact that the divorce procedure through the court will be carried out in a simplified manner.

To do this, the plaintiff will only need to provide a copy of his passport, a copy of the conviction and the statement of claim itself. As a rule, such cases do not require detailed legal study, and therefore a decision on the case (usually in favor of the plaintiff) is made within one month. After this, the citizen who filed the claim immediately receives a divorce certificate.

In some cases, the convicted spouse may wonder how to prolong the divorce process in court. For this purpose, he can file a counterclaim, setting out his claims against the second half.

Sample request for consideration of a case in a closed court session

Divorce is always difficult and painful. Protect yourself from negative emotions and experiences. Entrust the case to a lawyer.

You will find a sample and rules for filing a claim in the article “Statement of claim for divorce through the court with and without children”

The moment of termination of the marriage relationship

A marriage is considered completely dissolved either after making an appropriate entry in the civil registry office, or in the case of legal proceedings - after the entry into force of the relevant resolution and the subsequent entry of this information in the registry office documents.

Sometimes people have a question about where to get a court order. This can be done in the instance where the case was heard. They will also issue an extract from the court decision, which you can then independently take to the registry office.

It is noteworthy that neither party can officially enter into a new family relationship before documents indicating the annulment of the previous marriage have been drawn up and received.

Find out in more detail from what moment a marriage is considered dissolved.

Annulment of marriage through the registry office

The key stages of the divorce process in this instance are similar to the procedure for breaking off relations through the court. In the same way, you will have to write an application, prepare a package of documents, submit it and wait for a response. True, in this case, the parties will be able to avoid both long waits (the decision will be made within a month) and labor-intensive, complex in all respects, proceedings on conflict issues.

Find out in more detail when divorce is possible and how it happens through the registry office.

conclusions

If there are no serious conflicts in a married couple based on financial or other disagreements, then you can quietly and peacefully separate simply by submitting an application to the registry office.

But it is quite rare to get a divorce without involving the help of judges, since many spouses at the time of separation are bound by close legal relations, which can be properly broken only subject to a legal analysis of the case.

Thus, the issues decided by the court when making a decision on divorce include the division of common material wealth, the determination of further principles for the upbringing and maintenance of joint minor children (in particular, the calculation of alimony), and some other aspects.

Depending on the complexity of the case and the willingness of the parties to compromise, the time frame for consideration of the case can vary from one to three months.

Exactly where and how the proceedings take place depends on the circumstances of the case. In some cases, a magistrate’s court will be enough, in others an instance of general jurisdiction will be required, and if the other half has a different citizenship and does not live in the Russian Federation, then the help of a diplomatic mission may be needed.

In order to avoid possible mistakes, before writing an application for divorce, it is better to first consult with a lawyer who will give advice in relation to your life situation. The specialist will tell you how to prepare documents, where to submit them and where to get a court decision on divorce when everything is over.