How to find out if your wife loves you and understand that she is cheating

My wife found someone on the side

Sometimes divorce can surprise others. How so, they seemed to be a strong, exemplary couple. There are discords in any family; anyone who does not agree with this has never been married or is simply lying.

Statistics on the number of divorces caused by a spouse leaving for another man are growing every year. Male and female infidelity differ in motives and psychologically. If a lady falls in love with someone else and decides to leave, in 90% of cases she cannot be stopped.

Hurry up to react in time before your wife takes a step towards divorce.

How to recognize the prerequisites and causes of female infidelity, and not miss the moment when nothing can be done?

Signs that your wife has fallen in love with someone else

For some men, the news that their spouse loves someone else or leaves for a lover comes as a shock. They cannot even imagine that his wife is capable of taking such a step. And they naively assume that it is not the husband’s fault that his wife fell in love with another.

Signs that your wife is in love with another man:

Sex life has become too turbulent or, on the contrary, has come to naught. An overly active sex life closes a man's eyes and makes him less vigilant. However, this is not the reason the spouse does it. When a woman becomes interested in someone else, she becomes more passionate. And at home she gives her passion to the only man who is physically nearby - her husband.
The wife has become irritable , constantly looking for reasons for quarrels and scandals, and finding fault with trifles. Scandals may be the reason that she finds her husband’s company unpleasant and that he irritates her.
I stopped seeing merit in my wife . My opinion about my husband changed dramatically. If she used to love him no matter what and patiently accepted his shortcomings, now they make her nervous. Her advantages also turned into disadvantages for her, and she constantly criticizes her husband’s tastes and preferences.

It is equally important if she stopped doing housework . She began to complain a lot that she was tired, and that she was not a slave at all and wanted more free time.

Failure to manage the household is an extra point in favor of leaving the family.

Further on the signs of betrayal:

She has become secretive , hides her cell phone and does not leave it in plain sight. I stopped sharing my problems, maybe someone else is solving them. He types something on his phone without a break, often talks on it behind a closed door, and then smiles and is in a good, dreamy mood. She put a password on her phone, as if she was hiding something.
She is afraid of divorce or often in conversation began to drop hints about divorce. This is really serious, ladies never just throw around such words. For a woman, wedding, marriage, family and children are the most important things in life.

Preconditions that push a woman to commit adultery

These signs don't just appear. Their appearance was preceded by prerequisites that the husband did not notice. Some men do not even notice the obvious signs that their wife is falling in love with another.

Be careful - any betrayal has signs.

Before it’s too late, husbands should pay attention to the following conditions that push a married woman to cheat :

routine married life due to habit;
indifference and coldness on the part of the spouse;
thirst for adrenaline and adventure, suppression of them by her husband;
monotonous sex life, its absence;
female midlife crisis;
problems in everyday life;
financial problems, inability of the husband to resolve them;
stress , depression, emotional fluctuations in behavior.

The main prerequisite for infidelity of the fairer sex is an emotional state, a search for understanding, affection and care on the side when the husband stops giving it to her.

Why do married women fall in love with other men?

As already mentioned, ladies are weak in psycho-emotional terms . They need to pay attention specifically from a psychological perspective, no matter how widespread the opinion is that money is more important for women. They need affection, love.

Even small joys in the form of a bouquet of flowers once a month or an evening walk under the starry sky can make her happy. If there is no such thing in her marriage, sometimes she even unconsciously begins to look outside the marriage and will find it.

It doesn’t matter whether the bouquet is expensive or not, what matters is the man’s attention to his chosen one.

What affects female affection:

Coldness and inattention of the husband;
boring intimate life;
quarreling;
other problems.

One day she won’t be able to stand it and will simply go to a place where she is valued and loved. Where is considered a queen.

The material component is also important. The fact is that a woman by nature wants to feel protected, confident in the future, to be protected by her husband. It’s not about the amount of money, the main thing is that it’s enough for the necessary needs.

The spouse's task is to be a breadwinner for his relatives. If there is no such thing in her marriage, she takes on this role. For a lady, this is difficult both physically and psychologically. Sooner or later, she will find a man who will provide her with warm care and protect her from financial problems.

Is the husband to blame for his wife's betrayal?

In any case, both are to blame . Therefore, in a wife’s infidelity there is a share of the husband’s fault, and a considerable one, just as in a man’s infidelity there is a woman’s fault. The stronger sex itself is more willing than the ladies to admit that the man himself is to blame for the appearance of his wife’s lover.

If a husband puts his priorities higher, there is nothing to be surprised about a woman's infidelity.

Marriage is mutual hard work, and so is a relationship. You need to constantly invest in them, something besides money. First of all, feelings and emotions. If one of the spouses does not want to do this, but only “takes it away,” the other partner will find it in other arms.

How do you know if your wife loves you?

This question does not arise out of the blue - most often under pressure from relatives, friends, other women who suspect that not everything is going smoothly in the family. Sometimes the man himself begins to worry.

The reasons for doubt are approximately the following:

she spends a lot of time away from home, leaving under dubious pretexts;
takes little interest in her husband’s affairs and mood;
the wife doesn’t take care of herself at all;
she does not look her husband in the eyes;
communicates less with her best friends, without whom she could not live for two days;
she almost stopped caring for her own children;
very rarely wants sex;
she uses her ex-boyfriend as an example;
Someone often calls her.

Experts answer the question “how to find out?” directly: ask! Just come up and ask: “Do you love me?”, express your fears, doubts, calmly express those moments that do not suit you. Maybe it's not so bad.

For example, a woman is actually sick or experiencing depression, and therefore refuses sex - then she needs to be taken by the hand to the doctor. Perhaps she is simply forced to work late, since her husband earns very little.

If a wife really loves, then this is noticeable by the following signs:

she tries to please her husband, wants to spend more time with him;
afraid of losing her loved one, does not hide it;
cooks for him even when she’s tired;
takes every possible care of her husband’s health and comfort;
respects him and supports him in all his endeavors;
she is not interested in other men;
a loving wife forgives her husband for many shortcomings.

Love and care for a partner should be mutual - this is the principle of normal life in a family for many years spent together.

Male and female infidelity

For some reason, the opinion is still widespread that “treason is treason.” It is generally accepted that there is no difference in male and female infidelity. But if you take a closer look at the prerequisites, reasons and signs that push spouses to cheat, you can find big differences.

Men are polygamous by nature . For them, sexual intercourse is not a betrayal, but a physical release based on instincts. Emotionally, mentally he did not betray, in his opinion, that means he did not cheat.

With ladies the situation is much more complicated. If a woman loves, it means that she will never betray him either physiologically or emotionally. And if a lady cheated, it means she has long since cooled off towards her husband and no longer loves him.

The wife fell in love with another man: first actions

If there is no doubt that the spouse is really in love with another, measures must be taken. What are the first steps to take?

Try to calm down and not do anything stupid. Don't go about your aggression.
Stay alone and try to make a thoughtful solution to the problem with a cool head. Try to find the reasons for such an act by your beloved.
Having calmed down, try to talk frankly with your wife. Try to find out from her herself why she changed.

The main thing is to calm down , then you can solve the problem. Otherwise, you can only worsen the situation, and it will be almost impossible to solve it.

Advice and recommendations from a psychologist

Psychologists admit that men whose wives have cheated rarely adhere to their advice.

A family psychologist can help overcome difficulties in a marriage.

In such situations, psychologists recommend not making hasty conclusions for at least a day. It takes time to calm down and weigh everything in your head. If a husband wants to save the marriage , he must think through the steps that he must take to do this in his head. If you come to your spouse with quarrels and adrenaline running wild, it is unlikely that you will be able to save the marriage.

But if a man decides to get a divorce , he needs to do it with dignity. Disperse without squabbles, quarrels and insults, especially when there are children.

You cannot turn your father or mother against your parents. For children, the breakup should be as painless as possible; this will become the most important task of the spouses after a divorce.

Building a constructive dialogue

A frank, calm, constructive conversation with your wife is one of the most correct ways to resolve a situation with infidelity of the fairer sex. It is important not only to speak, but also to listen to your spouse and let her speak out.

During the dialogue, there is no need to put pressure , threaten or insult her. A woman’s psyche is fragile, the wrong word or action can break her, then she will only withdraw into herself and will not be able to find out anything.

Try to take the dialogue in a serious direction, without accusations and quarrels.

The spouse should ask clear questions to determine the reasons for the infidelity. Why he doesn’t suit her, whether he wants a divorce, how he sees their future together. You should not manipulate her or ask leading questions.

It is important that she fully expresses what is on her mind.

What should a husband do if his wife loves someone else, but does not want to leave the family?

You need to be prepared for the fact that after cheating, your spouse will not rush to leave for someone else. This happens due to fear of the unknown. Fear of losing stability and big sudden changes. What should the husband do then?

You need to wait until she decides what she will do next. Give an ultimatum and give time to think it over. Let her choose who is more important to her, her legal spouse or her lover.

The main thing is to make it clear that you can’t drag it out indefinitely. Otherwise, decide for yourself and be the initiator of the breakup.

Once upon a time you decided to connect your lives with each other. Think, maybe it makes sense to save the relationship?

If the spouses do not want a breakup, then they must try to maintain the relationship. It is important that both spouses do this through joint efforts.

My wife left: return or let go

If feelings have died, you should not burden yourself with a painful and painful relationship, which will no longer lead to anything good. Once a woman leaves, there is practically no way to bring her back.

Leaving her family is a difficult and many times deliberate act for her. She decides to leave only when she does not feel love for her husband. Therefore, psychologists advise letting go of your spouse and trying to improve your life, no matter how difficult it may be. There is no need to grieve over something that is no longer there and cannot be returned.

If, even after leaving, the wife does not completely break the connection with her husband, constantly reminding herself of herself, there is still hope of getting her back. The main thing is not to miss this moment and take timely measures to save the family.

Signs of cooled feelings

In order not to part with the woman you love, it is important for you to identify the problem in a timely manner before it goes away. If she does not directly say that she has stopped loving you, the following signs will be alarming:

she regularly refuses intimacy;
communicates with other men, shows interest in their successes;
sharply changes priorities, increasingly spends time outside the home with friends.

Simply put, a woman becomes cold, uninterested in the affairs of her husband, and shows warmth and care less and less. There are a lot of indirect signs that indicate that feelings have subsided:

she no longer hides her shortcomings;
ignores your presence;
shows unreasonable jealousy;
shows irritability over small things;
demonstrates rudeness, selfishness;
pays less and less attention to household chores and cooking;
prefers to make any important decisions independently.

This behavior does not always mean that she has fallen out of love, has fallen in love with another man and is going to leave for him. But in any case, all signs are an indicator that the relationship needs rehabilitation.

Will you try to get your wife back after betrayal?

Not really

What to do if a married woman falls in love with me

What should a man do if a woman has fallen in love with him? This is also a difficult situation for him. Based on principles, beliefs and character, one can act differently.

If he has no feelings for a lady other than physiological ones, he should break up immediately. It is necessary to talk to the woman, explain that a fleeting love affair is not worth a broken family.

It doesn’t matter who initiated the situation - if someone interfered in someone else’s relationship, you shouldn’t drag out the breakup and make a secret out of it.

But if a man himself has strong feelings for a woman, and the lady loves him, she needs to talk to her husband . In this case, you need to support her, offer your help, try to talk to her husband yourself and put an end to this protracted love triangle.

How can a woman understand that she has stopped loving her husband?

Your spouse has practically stopped receiving attention from you. I don't want to take care of him anymore. Spending time together has become a burden; you try in every possible way to avoid walks with your husband and unnecessary conversations.
Suddenly, a lot of shortcomings were revealed in my husband. Now you are annoyed by the way he eats, talks, sleeps and dresses. Even his very presence causes hostility. You find fault with little things, notice all the mistakes and constantly criticize.
The realization comes that respect for your partner has completely disappeared. You ask him for help less and less, you make decisions without consulting him. This is a clear sign that the man has lost value in your eyes. He is no longer perceived as support and support.
The sexual attraction to my husband has long disappeared. You avoid fulfilling your marital duty by all means. Not only moments of intimacy are unpleasant, but also kisses and hugs. Any of his touches cause rejection and make you move away even more.
You absolutely don’t want to answer your spouse’s calls and messages, and you yourself rarely initiate them.

If all these points seem familiar, at the moment your husband plays a very minor role in your life . From a loved one, he gradually turned into just a neighbor. Think about whether this state of affairs suits you? It may be worth trying to restore the relationship, or finally offering your spouse a divorce.

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Love triangle: love or passion

Love triangles in families are not uncommon. They arise when spouses begin to devote less time to each other and stay late at work. A classic love triangle is considered to be a relationship where there is a wife, husband and lover.

A cold attitude towards your partner is a sure way to push her to cheat.

Because of marital coldness, wives begin to seek affection in the arms of other men; they do not set out to harm their husband, although they do it unconsciously. More often than not, a spouse's infidelity implies a search for passion and attention . But is it worth lying to your spouse and risking your family for this?

There is a guy, a husband - I fell in love with someone else

The situation when a married woman falls in love with another man is not uncommon. In addition to happiness, this connection puts her in a stressful state.

She is often in a tense state, emotional surges exhaust her. She torments herself, blames her for infidelity , is afraid of being caught, and feels sorry for her partner.

A woman has to force herself to forget the man she fell in love with. But as a rule, this does not help, but adds even more mental anguish.

The first piece of advice is don’t blame yourself.

If a wife cheated on her husband, there is no need to torment, torment and blame herself for this. Unfortunately, you can't turn back time. It is necessary to figure out what prompted her to take such a desperate step.

Rather, it was a temporary clouding, and it is difficult to resist instincts in this case, even if I would never change with my mind. This indicates a lack of emotions on the part of the spouse, and this is also his fault.

Find out why this happened

To understand the situation of her infidelity to her partner, a lady needs to answer the question for herself: what could actually push her to commit adultery? Reconsider options.

It could be a sudden, overwhelming passion that you couldn’t control. Moreover, her own husband has recently seemed to have forgotten about her existence. And she really wants affection, emotions and intimacy.

Perhaps in this way the woman tried to increase her self-esteem or decided to take revenge on her partner for poor treatment.

How to do the right thing

Should I tell my spouse about cheating ? You need to put yourself in your husband's place. How would she like her husband to act when the fact of his betrayal was established.

There are only two choices. If a woman can no longer live with the feeling of guilt that burdens and torments her soul, then she should confess everything. Explain the reason for this behavior, make it clear that this will never happen again.

Many people advise staying silent about a mistake - your partner’s happiness is ignorance.

There is another way out - don’t say anything . Of course, it’s hard to carry this around when you’re married, but maintaining the same atmosphere in the house is more important. You have to make a promise to yourself that this will never happen again.

Transform yourself

If a husband does not pay attention to his wife, then the problem should first be looked for not in the man. A woman who does not suffer from low self-esteem and is not an ordinary person will never allow the fire of the flame that rages in a relationship at the stage of the emergence of feelings to go out.

If a woman cannot maintain interest, then she needs to start working on herself. Have you encountered this problem? Look in the mirror, who do you see there? A middle-aged woman with a rather unremarkable appearance? Change the situation. It is impossible to love a gray mouse. A man always wants to see a sultry beauty next to him.

Go to the hairdresser, see a cosmetologist and change your wardrobe. External transformation helps a lady change internally. The girl needs to become more confident

Often, when a husband does not pay attention to his wife, he simply does not notice her. It's easy not to see a colorless shadow, but it's impossible to close your eyes when you look at a beauty

Fell in love with another man while married

The couple is married and seems happy, but suddenly the lady meets another man and realizes that she has fallen in love with him. What to do in this case?

Calm down and wait it out . Perhaps this is just a fleeting love, like in youth, which will soon pass.
Understand your motives and listen to yourself. You can imagine what kind of relationship you would have with this young man in 5 or 10 years. After all, with my husband, in the beginning, there was also passion and intimacy every day. What's different now?

Is it worth telling your husband about cheating then? Everyone does as he knows .

If you want to leave your spouse, then it is better to do it quickly, before those participating in the love triangle get bogged down in this love “quagmire”.

Fell in love while married with a child

In a situation where the wife is in love with someone else, and there are children in the family, their happiness and psychological health .

Is it worth saving a marriage for the sake of children? This question is often asked. If the atmosphere in the family is very painful, the spouses have long lost interest in each other, there is no need to torture the children. This is not a normal adequate atmosphere for them, where they shout 24 hours a day.

Divorce for any reason is a great stress and a blow to the child’s psychology.

You need to sit down with your husband opposite each other and have a calm heart-to-heart talk. The main thing is, at least for the sake of the children, to remain friends after the divorce.

In a situation where the spouses still have some feelings despite the spouse’s infidelity, some couples try to start all over again. Perhaps the betrayal was just a fleeting weakness, the spouses were tired of hardships and problems.

There is an urgent need to save the marriage.

How to return feelings to your husband

If a wife, after cheating, understands that her family is very dear to her and is not ready to ruin the marriage for the sake of outside relationships, you need to revive your feelings for your spouse. How to do it?

Needs to work on appearance . Change your hairstyle, update your wardrobe, especially pay attention to revealing underwear. So that the husband sees his wife dressed up and wearing makeup not only on holidays.
Show care and affection to your husband . Ask about the past day, ask about the news, be interested in work and his hobbies. Greet him with delicious food. Create comfort in your home and a pleasant “unloading” atmosphere after a hard day at work.
Praise and make it clear that you need him. He should feel like a protector of the family. That without him, his family won’t be able to cope with their problems.
Find common interests . Try to make friends with him again, do common things. After all, when the couple met, they were attracted to each other by common hobbies.
more often , correspond on social networks , call, spend more time together.

It is necessary to remember the times of acquaintance, what attracted the lady to her spouse. After all, out of all the representatives of the stronger sex, I chose him, which means it was not in vain. Falling in love again is possible.

You can attract your husband's attention with banal jealousy

Very often, in the struggle for love, both boys and girls used this technique, forcing the one they were hopelessly pining for to finally pay attention to themselves. You can also attract your husband's interest by making him jealous.

You can also attract your husband's interest by making him jealous.

If people are together for a long time, they often begin to devalue their other half.

Well, imagine that you have a sofa at home. It has been in the room for 10 years.

Once you fell in love with it and, without even thinking, bought it - you just couldn’t imagine your living room without it.

Years have passed. It is clear that the furniture is a little frayed, dented here and there, and has become thoroughly familiar.

And in the stores there are these sofas - whatever you want. How can you not start dreaming about new furniture, and quietly looking with disgust at the old sofa.

Suddenly a friend rings your doorbell, you open it, and he says: “I want your sofa. Give (namely give, not sell) it to me. You don’t love him, you’re tired of him, but I will simply adore him.”

I am sure that the majority will refuse: “Yes, well, no. I'm used to it. And there is no money for a new one. And there is no time to look for it either. And this furniture is good, comfortable, and beautiful too. How many pleasant minutes I spent there.”

The example is, of course, primitive, but I hope it is extremely clear.

You can get your husband and his attention if you hint that he has a rival. You don’t really need to change, just talk about a colleague who pays attention to you or about a handsome man you meet on the street

You don’t really need to change, just talk about a colleague who pays attention to you or about a handsome man you meet on the street.

With especially hopeless husbands, you can even put on a whole performance - you behave suspiciously because you are having an affair.

When your hubby finds out that someone else is claiming his treasure, he will instantly turn his attention to you and will not want to give you back

Is it worth continuing the relationship if you see that your wife has stopped loving you?

The most difficult thing is to understand whether you need this woman and are you ready to make an effort to return her feelings? Here you need to weigh the pros and cons, you need to understand whether you have feelings for this woman. If you still decide to save the marriage, then you will have to make a lot of efforts to return your spouse’s feelings. But if you're ready, then go for it. The main thing is to really want it and then you will definitely succeed!