The art of refusing an employer: diplomacy in the service of a career

When searching for a job, sometimes you have to choose from several offers. How to refuse an interview if the invitation came after an agreement to move to a new place? Many people frivolously ignore meetings with unwanted recruiters and avoid incoming calls. But there are two points that need to be taken into account when communicating with HR specialists.

1. Sloppy “refuseniks” end up in personnel databases with the mark “no show.” Such a reputation may have a negative impact on subsequent employment attempts.
2. A job seeker who is able to competently and correctly formalize the severance of a barely established employment relationship strengthens his business status. He goes from the rank of a petitioner to the rank of a partner. Compliance with professional ethics is especially important for applicants for leadership positions.

People who are able to give honest and timely warnings about non-cooperation earn respect from HR employees. This is evidenced by research from sociological services of job portals. Many applicants are afraid of persuasion and emotional objections from their opponents. This scenario is indeed possible in institutions where there are no strict business regulations for interaction with potential employees. This helps to minimize the influence of the human factor and smoothes out communication difficulties.

How to refuse an employer in order to neutralize unpleasant emotions from a message? Depending on the stage to which interaction with the employer has progressed, the characteristics of its corporate culture and the personality of the direct contactee, there are several ways.

When should you report your unwillingness to hold a position?

After the interview, the applicant remains in a stressful state for some time, which is why emotions and uncertainty can push him to make the wrong decision. Therefore, before giving the employer an unambiguous answer to the proposed vacancy, you should wait until you enter the “cooling down” mode and carefully weigh all the pros and cons of the future job. [google_other] Ideally, a person becomes ready to make an informed decision within a couple of days after discussing the proposal. However, most employers do not tolerate delays and ask to quickly decide on the outcome.

If the position does not arouse interest, then you should refuse the job as quickly as possible for the following reasons:

• The employer will have time to find another suitable candidate from those present at the interview.
• The likelihood of disrupting the work process in the company will sharply decrease.
• The candidate will retain his “face” and the same level of reputation.

Whatever the reasons for refusing a vacancy, there is no need to remain silent and go into the shadows. Notifying the employer is not only a sign of respect, but also maintaining a friendly attitude towards yourself in the event of a second appearance for an interview with the company.

When to refuse a job

Psychologists recommend not to rush into a decision and give yourself time to think about it. This is normal behavior of a thorough person, which should not arouse suspicion among a potential employer. Therefore, the applicant should remember two rules when communicating with HR specialists:

1. To the HR officer’s question, “Are you considering vacancies from other employers?” answer in the affirmative. An exception is if the candidate, for some reason, wants to find a job only in this company (or seeks to convince the interviewer of this).
2. When agreeing on the time to make a decision or the date of entry into service, be sure to take a time-out for up to 7-10 days. This period is usually included in the candidate selection process: HR department employees complete the competition, recall vacancies, compare selected candidates, clarify their position, and prepare reports. The need for a delay can be explained by various arguments.

The undeniable reasons for your poverty: 8 important points

The time for announcing a refusal also depends on the stage of employment.

1. After being invited for an interview. If you want to avoid the first meeting with a rejected employer, it is recommended to notify the interviewer at least a day before the marked time. A telephone call is the most acceptable method of communication for declining an invitation. You need to call during business hours, when employees are busy with current issues and are not ready to delve into details. The initiator of the conversation gets the opportunity not only to refuse, but also to “save face.” Reluctance to attend the first meeting usually does not require an explanation.
2. After the first interview. The period from the introductory interview to subsequent meetings with representatives usually takes several days. If the recruiter reports a positive decision immediately after the interview, the applicant is advised to ask for a delay of 1-2 weeks, during which it is advisable to inform about the refusal. After the first meeting, the candidate has a lot of new information about the employer, which can provide a true or formal clue for rejecting the vacancy.
3. After agreeing to go to work. Sometimes situations arise when a candidate changes his decision immediately before starting or in the first days of his working life. In this case, you should act according to the circumstances. After signing the contract, the opportunity to terminate the employment relationship will arise only after a trial period. If the official registration has not yet been completed, you should ask for a personal meeting with the employee supervising the vacancy. A telephone refusal option is appropriate, but not recommended. At this stage, it is necessary to select the most convincing and justified reasons. Even if the “refuser’s” arguments are deliberately false, the desire to convey explanatory information to the recruiter will help maintain a positive opinion about the employee.

• Motives based on the applicant’s personal analysis of the relationship between his own strengths and the requirements of the position win: “I came to the conclusion that I cannot cope with the responsibilities, I do not have enough experience to successfully perform these functions. At first I didn’t pay attention to some of the details, but now I understand that I can’t ignore them.”
• Draw the attention of the interlocutor that the decision to refuse was not easy.
• Offer a replacement from among your acquaintances for whom you can vouch, invite to your lecture, presentation, master class, training, provide a link to a personal blog, offer your services not as a colleague, but as a counterparty, etc.
• Express pleasure from acquaintance and attention to your candidacy.

An approximate scheme of an oral communication in case of refusal after consent

“Hello, XX! I was very pleased to communicate with you. The opportunity to work for your company means a lot to me. At first, the position seemed to me to fully correspond to my expectations, but after careful analysis, I realized that I would have to refuse. I can’t go to work because of (reasons). It was difficult for me to make this decision, but I don’t see any other way out. I am confident that in the future we will be able to renew our business alliance. In any case, I would like to stay in touch with you."

The process of giving up doesn't have to be a painful process. To ensure a positive atmosphere in negotiations, you need to remember three rules:

• use the universal “sandwich” technique;
• see yourself as an equal participant in the labor market - a correct, polite, diplomatic professional;
• consider the moment of refusal not as the final “burning of bridges”, but as the establishment of useful business connections for the future, when the failed partner retains value for the applicant in the long term.

How to properly refuse an employer at a meeting

Refusal during a personal conversation is the most appropriate form of rejecting an offer, since such a gesture is a sign of great respect for the employer.

To maintain friendly relations and correctly present the decision, it is recommended to structure the story as follows:

1. Say hello, voice your name, time or circumstances of the last meeting:

“Hello, my name is Peter Alekseevich, I am one of the candidates for the position of development manager.” "Good afternoon. My name is Vladimir. We met you at an interview on June 19, 2021.”

Prepare the recruiter to answer:

“I am very grateful for your time”; “I treat you with great respect and I don’t dare delay your response to your proposal.”

Indicate the complexity of the decision made:

“Refusing the offer was a very serious step for me”; “My refusal was preceded by a long period of deliberation”; “Before rejecting the appointment, I tried to change the circumstances that were holding me back, but they turned out to be stronger.”

4. Explain the reason (based on the actual situation or choosing from the paragraph below).

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End the conversation on a friendly note:

“Having seen your level of competence, I have no doubt that a suitable candidate will be found in the very near future”; “Thank you for your attention and proper assessment of my abilities, the experience of communicating with you brought the most positive emotions”; “I wish the company productive work and employees who always share the views of their superiors.”

We refuse correctly

Written message

The refusal letter must be submitted to the employee who supervises the position, to the secretariat or personnel department.

A written refusal gives a chance to avoid a personal meeting with the failed employer, but requires compliance with the norms of business correspondence and implies a statement of the reasons for the decision.

This method is used by people who have difficulties with verbal communication, as well as applicants from other regions. You can choose a written form of refusal if you also received an invitation to an interview in writing. A well-designed letter includes several points that will characterize you as a diplomatic and confident player in the labor market, while simultaneously reducing the negative effect:

1. A greeting, an address (preferably personal), gratitude for attention to your candidacy and appreciation for productive/pleasant communication.
2. Regret and refusal.
3. Arguments.
4. We wish you success in finding a replacement and successful business.
5. A polite farewell.

Undesirable information (refusal) is contained in a “cover” of good messages. This technique of refusal is called the “sandwich strategy” and has been successfully used in politics and business. It is also adopted by recruiters who use this technique to notify applicants of refusals.

Sample letters

“Dear X!

Thank you for your interest in my candidacy. I am forced to inform you that I have already found a more suitable vacancy in another company, and therefore I am withdrawing my candidacy from a position in your organization. I wish you success in finding a worthy employee.

Sincerely,

YY."

Telephone message

Allows you to save time, limit emotional contact that is inevitable during a personal meeting, and at the same time demonstrate loyalty to your partner.

Telephone communication is preferable to letter if the interaction has reached the stage of a follow-up interview, meeting with the immediate supervisor or agreement to work. The algorithm for conducting a conversation in this case is similar to the scheme for composing a written message and includes the same points:

• greetings;
• outgoing call contact reminder;
• regret and refusal;
• statement of reasons;
• wishes of success and farewell.

The complexity of telephone refusal lies in the simultaneously two-way nature of communication. The interlocutor gets the opportunity to challenge the statement, express dissatisfaction, or offer alternative solutions. If the purpose of the call is a decisive refusal, and not a search for a compromise, you should be guided by the following rules:

• Come up with clear reasons for refusal in advance. Find an irrefutable excuse that will hide the real reason.
• Tactfully but firmly adhere to the chosen goal, do not allow the opponent to involve you in the discussion, avoid an apologetic tone and reject counter-offers.
• Regardless of the emotional coloring of the conversation, end the conversation favorably, using the final point of the scheme.

How to prepare a story about yourself for an interview

Example conversation

“Hello, XX! This is YY. We met about my employment for the position…. Thank you for making a positive decision on my candidacy, but I must inform you that I have found a more suitable vacancy in another company, so I am forced to refuse your offer. I wish you success in your search for an employee."

A personal meeting

This method of voicing a decision on refusal is advisable to use by applicants for senior management positions, specialists of a narrow profile, as well as those who use the method of personal recommendations when searching for a job.

A personal visit to the employer is justified in a situation where confirmation of a position was preceded by a lengthy selection process, multi-stage work with the applicant, negotiations with managers, etc. A visit to the employer is also relevant if the applicant allows for a compromise. This is an expectedly costly and emotionally stressful technique for communicating negative news, but with prudent organization it can become a profitable investment in your professional future and maintain effective connections. The principle of conducting a conversation with a failed employer is based on a written or telephone refusal, but involves longer communication, expanded potential for discussion, the likelihood of vigorous protest and unforeseen variations in the conversation at the initiative of the opponent. The message formula for a personal meeting includes the following components according to the already familiar “sandwich” system:

• expressing gratitude for the time spent (the stage of the listener’s psychological preparation for unfavorable information);
• refusal (may cause an emotional reaction);
• communicating the reasons (in the case of a one-on-one conversation with a representative of the employer, this item is often the subject of lengthy discussions);
• wishes of success and expression of hope for future cooperation; Repeatedly expressing gratitude for the communication.

Polite refusal of a vacancy to the employer in a letter

It is considered acceptable to refuse an employer in writing in the following cases:

• During the interview, it was not possible to find a common language or a somewhat conflicting situation developed.
• There is a fear of choosing the wrong words to explain the reasons for the rejection of the proposal.
• Workdays have already begun in a new place in another company.

When drawing up a polite refusal of a vacancy, you can rely on the following example:

Hello, Lev Nikolaevich! Please accept my gratitude in response to your proposal. Unfortunately, I am forced to refuse the vacancy due to a change of residence. I apologize for the inconvenience caused.

Sincerely, Victor.

Dear Andrey Sergeevich! I express my deep gratitude for the offer to fill the vacant position of surveyor. Despite the high prestige of your company and decent working conditions, I have to refuse the offer due to serious health problems.

I wish prosperity to you and your business.

In what form can I report a refusal?

The refusal can be communicated in three ways - in person, in writing and by telephone. Let's figure out when and what will be preferable. It is important to consider the specifics of each type of failure.

Personally

Personal contact seems to always be the best option. But is it?

Of course, if you decide to refuse immediately after the interview, then it is better to do it verbally, looking the employer in the eyes. This option will not be amiss if you have already agreed to go to work. But if the reason for your refusal is that the distance from your home to your place of work is too long, then you should not go to the office to personally inform the employer about this.

Personal refusal is perceived better if you have managed to establish some kind of connection with the interviewer. In addition, if the vacancy is quite serious and the position is significant, then it is always better to report the refusal in person than by phone or letter.

Letter

A letter is preferable in the following cases:

• the position is not so serious that you need to go to the office for it;
• you were unable to establish contact with the interviewer, you are afraid of his ambiguous reaction, you are not sure that you can refuse in a personal meeting;
• you want to think carefully about the text and write a truly competent speech.

When writing a letter, make sure that the message reaches the employer, otherwise you risk violating business ethics.

Imagine this situation:

You sent a letter, thought it had reached the address, but after a while the employer contacts you himself to reprimand you for your absence on the first day of work, if you have already agreed to take the position.

Unpleasant situation, isn't it? And all because you made the wrong address, missed one letter, or sent a letter to the company’s old e-mail address.

Do you have doubts about the correctness of writing a refusal in writing? Check out this example of how to properly refuse an employer after an interview:

Telephone

A large percentage of people use a telephone conversation when they need to refuse. However, there is a possibility that you will call at an inconvenient time for the employer. You cannot accurately predict whether a person is ready to accept you, how he will perceive refusal, or whether you will be tactful enough.

Therefore, when choosing the form of refusal, decide between written or personal. Focus on the significance of the position to which you have been called, as well as whether you can personally, looking the employer in the eye, explain the reasons for the refusal.

What reasons should be given in the refusal?

The main rule to follow when refusing a job is to speak truthfully and honestly.

If the disagreement to enter into a relationship with the employer is due to personal reasons, then it is recommended to adhere to “standard” reasons, for example:

• I'm afraid that my experience will not be enough to resolve the current problem in production.
• Not ready for the working conditions announced at the interview.
• While making a decision on candidates for the position, I received another offer, which turned out to be more suitable.
• The level of remuneration is disproportionate to the level of responsibility.
• Circumstances arose that prompted an urgent move to another city or care for a sick relative.
• A vacant position is open in a structural unit located too far from your place of residence.

If you don't want to go to your scheduled interview?

We are talking about a situation where you have agreed to come for an interview at the appointed time and date. But for some reason they changed their minds.

Failure to appear will be a direct refusal to the employer. But you can’t just not come and that’s it. Even in such a situation, it is important to maintain business ethics.

Otherwise, the employer will draw certain conclusions, and this may have a negative impact on your career in the future. Especially if your paths cross again.

IMPORTANT! The higher the level of the vacant position, the more important it is to properly refuse the position. Managers and key persons of large companies often get to know each other. Therefore, there is always a chance that one day you will meet.

How to notify the employer? The best option is a personal call to him or the HR manager. Let them know you won't come for the interview. Perhaps during the telephone conversation you will receive more information about the vacancy and change your mind.

Giving a refusal after your own consent can be psychologically difficult. By the way, we wrote an article about how to say no to your boss.

If you are absolutely sure that you will not change your decision, that the conditions are not suitable, then you can write a letter in an official business style.

It politely informs the employer about the refusal, and also thanks for the opportunity.

What not to say when refusing a position

Not every reason needs to be given to the employer when declining an offer for a position.

There are a number of cases that it is more appropriate to keep silent or explain them by other relevant circumstances, in particular:

• The applicant is not loyal to the current company policy.
• There is a possibility that the company will be declared insolvent.
• When we met, the team showed unreasonable aggression.
• economy and pays wages in an envelope.
• The workplace lacks the minimum necessary equipment.
• The employer creates personal hostility.
• There have been reports that company management places emphasis on the religion of employees or requires the provision of personal information that is not required by law.

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Money issue

There is another factor that contributes to the refusal of a promotion. We're talking about wages. It is not uncommon for a company’s management, when giving a subordinate new powers, to save money and is in no hurry to significantly increase his salary.

“My colleague, a product manager, at one time rejected an offer for a promotion, since the amount of work and responsibility (including material) significantly exceeded the level of the promised salary,” says Victoria Zaborskaya.

– There was also a case in my practice when a well-proven employee was offered the position of head of a department without a salary increase. They were motivated by the fact that the subordinate did not have the necessary experience, and the new position would allow him to acquire it. The employee was discouraged and chose to change employers because he had lost.”

The reaction of employees is understandable, because when agreeing to a promotion, they foresee the coming rush jobs, after-hours and inevitable stress. A tangible increase in salary is a comforting compensation. If its level leaves much to be desired, the question arises: “Is it worth it?”

If you don't want to make a career, we'll fire you

However, there is a risk that comes with the initiative to reshuffle personnel.

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The culture of the organization and the behavior of the leader play an important role here.
If management is flexible, the employee can be returned to the position where he was initially successful. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen often. In a number of companies, refusal of an offered position leads to dismissal,” notes Maria Kovaleva, head of the development department of Gazprombank.
What is so confusing to a manager whose subordinate refuses career advancement? According to Maxim Sundalov

, the opponent of the increase suggests the following thoughts:

• Such an employee is not committed to long-term cooperation.
• Is the refusal caused by the specialist’s internal infantilism?

“Of course, this is not a reason for dismissal; this is information that, for example, our company takes into account when planning new tasks and building a growth strategy. After all, to develop a business, you need to understand what human resources you can rely on,” notes Maxim Sundalov

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Useful tips

It is important to maintain your reputation and not spoil the favorable impression made. There is a high probability of coming back to work for this company again.

The rules for constructing a competent refusal are as follows:

1. timeliness. You should not delay the conversation, try to hide from the employer, ignoring phone calls in the hope that the problem will be solved by itself.
2. Tact. You should briefly and politely indicate the reasons for the refusal and apologize.
3. Lack of emotions. You shouldn’t apologize too vigorously for a refusal, causing self-pity, hoping to adapt to an uninteresting job.
4. Honesty and frankness. A potential employer has the right to know the reason for the refusal if it is not of a purely personal nature.

Situations when it is better to hide the true reason for the refusal, come up with another explanation:

• 
  in the new position you will have to do work that is contrary to moral principles, deceive clients, and maintain false documentation;

• the employer promises to pay part of the salary “in an envelope”, does not register personnel in accordance with the Labor Code, ignores contributions to the Pension Fund;
• the company’s business is going badly, bankruptcy is likely soon;
• I didn’t like the staff and management of the company.

Important! If you are not satisfied with certain aspects of your job responsibilities, you should openly tell the recruiter about it. The employer has the right to meet halfway by changing or eliminating such points as far as possible.