You know that things are not going well between you and your spouse. Your partner is sad and distant. He looked offended at the last conversation. You hope he comes to his senses. Perhaps he will let off steam and become an ordinary person. Instead, one day you come home and discover that his clothes have disappeared from the closets, and on the dining table there is a piece of paper inviting him to the registry office or a summons to the magistrates' court. Do you think this scenario is possible in your life? If you need a divorce lawyer, then contact us, we are professionals in this.
Financial difficulties
At the beginning of a relationship, this problem never arises: lovers are sure that heaven is in the hut with their beloved, and money does not play a special role. However, after marriage they are faced with everyday problems, the appearance of children - and this issue takes a significant position. The constant lack of money forces people to be in tension, which naturally affects relationships. It makes the situation worse if the couple is embarrassed to talk about money, or one believes that spouses should earn money equally, while the other expects them to handle household chores.
Reasons for divorce in the family
Today, unfortunately, the very concept of the value and inviolability of marriage bonds has been lost. The modern young generation is quite frivolous and not at all serious about family ties. Early family formation occupies the maximum percentage in the series of divorces. Due to the fact that, most often, immature young people who are characterized by a low spiritual and social level of development enter into marriage, they put intimacy at the forefront of family relationships. Young people believe that it is on intimacy that strong family ties are built.
The reasons for divorce in the family are also due to the fact that in modern society the roles of the strong and weak half of humanity have changed places. Today, most women perform men's duties. They are no longer satisfied with the role of just a homemaker. And men gladly give them their responsibilities.
Quite often, breaking the marriage bond is the only acceptable solution in situations where the relationship between the partners has not worked out. Most often, young ladies become the initiators of divorce, due to the fact that their expectations were not met. When they got married, they dreamed of a loving, caring, slightly romantic, devoted and faithful man, but the reality is that they acquire additional responsibilities and gradually become alienated from each other.
The most common reasons for divorce in a family are infidelity. Due to the fact that betrayal hurts the most important feeling of the two partners – love, which is an important motivational factor for starting a family. Cheating indicates disharmony, various accumulated contradictions, and unresolved conflicts between partners. Cheating on one of your partners is a fairly common behavior that can occur even in healthy families with stable relationships. Quite often, adultery becomes a frequent reason for the dissolution of so-called “precocious” marriages, in cases where both partners are very frivolous and do not realize the moral and value qualities of the family.
Devotion and fidelity in marriage, in most cases, depends on the behavior of the partners before marriage. According to statistics, the strong and weak halves of humanity who engage in sexual intercourse before marriage are much more likely to break the vow of marital fidelity. This behavior is due to the fact that early sexual life is based mainly not on mutual love, which subsequently leads to a decrease in obligations and a sense of duty towards the other partner.
Recently, the reasons for divorce in court have increased dramatically. Among these reasons are domestic violence, drug addiction or alcoholism.
Often, simple boredom is cited as the reason for family breakdown. The period of falling in love has ended, passions have calmed down, the time of “grinding in together” is far behind us, the partners have found family peace, and the dominant aspect of life together is the usual algorithm of actions, everyday life. During the first years of living together, the partners studied each other's shortcomings and advantages quite well and accepted them. They no longer expect absolutely any surprises from each other. Their whole life is scheduled by the hour - home, work, children, sex on holidays, etc. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that after a certain amount of time the partners move away from each other. Most often, a woman feels a man’s inattention more acutely, especially if she does not work and only takes care of the house and children.
Incomplete higher education or failure to realize oneself in the professional sphere makes women resentful of their partner, because she sacrificed so much for him. And at the same time, a man is not at all interested in a woman’s problems, because he has enough of his own. As a result, family relationships begin to collapse. The husband devotes all his time to work. The wife, tired of indifference and lack of communication, takes on a lover.
An equally serious test of the strength of marriage bonds is the time of waiting and the birth of the first child. A fairly large percentage of family breakdowns occur in the first years after the birth of a child, and during this period, the husband usually initiates the divorce.
After the birth of a child, a man fades into the background for a woman. Quite often, young fathers make the same mistakes, piling all the responsibilities around the house and caring for the baby onto their wife. Therefore, a woman has almost no time left for her husband, since she gives all her time to the child. As a result, discomfort inevitably arises in family relationships; the husband feels unloved, deprived, and unnecessary. The wife may respond to all claims from her husband not quite adequately, with irritation. After all, she doesn’t get enough sleep for days, no one understands her, she’s tired. The man sees the only way out - divorce. In this case, complete freedom will come for him, without obligations and screams. To avoid this, both spouses must share the care of the baby.
Very often, drug addiction and drunkenness become causes of divorce. Such people should be treated early.
The housing problem is also one of the most common reasons for the breakdown of family relationships. At the stage of falling in love, it seems to young people that it is paradise with their loved ones and in a hut. However, the lack of their own housing and living together with parents leads to conflict situations and scandals. The consequence of this is divorce.
The inability of the stronger half to provide for the family and poverty become frequent reasons for the severance of family relationships. Due to constant need, the weaker half often has complaints against a man whose self-esteem suffers after constant reproaches. A woman has to provide for her family herself or find someone who will provide for her and her children. As a result, the marriage breaks up. Also, the lack of funds is due to the inability of partners to competently plan the family budget and different views on spending money.
Loss of love is also a common cause of marriage breakdown.
Important points when filing a divorce
When submitting applications for divorce to the court, it is important to indicate the true reasons for the divorce in two cases: when spouses divide jointly acquired property, and also when determining the place of residence of children.
Since, according to Art. 39 of the RF IC, the court may allow an unequal division of property acquired in a marriage union: the one with whom the child remains may be allocated a larger share (but, unfortunately, this does not happen often); if one of the partners did not receive income for unjustifiable reasons or spent the common property of the spouses to the detriment of the interests of the family, his share may be reduced. The growing number of divorces requires a responsible and conscious approach to creating a family.
After all, building family relationships is an entire art that needs to be learned: the ability to make concessions, show patience and support each other in difficult situations will help your marriage become strong and reliable!
Family psychology
For each person, the most important reasons for divorcing a husband or wife are different. It all depends on the initially set priorities, character, expectations and many other factors.
Psychologists believe that more often than not there are several reasons for ending a relationship. But one of them plays the role of that very last straw, when patience breaks and there is no desire to continue.
Unacceptable behavior
The most common reason why people get divorced is the unacceptable behavior of one of the parties. Moreover, this is expressed differently for everyone.
Factors for divorce are:
- disrespectful attitude towards each other in a couple;
- constant display of aggression by one of the parties or assault;
- moral suppression and humiliation of the spouse and/or children;
- sex in a perverted form, its complete absence or hyperactivity;
- one of the parties regularly lives outside the home;
- adultery, constant flirting with other partners;
- excessive control, mistrust, unreasonable jealousy.
The consequences of such unacceptable behavior are often very sad. It affects not only spouses, but also children. And if a man or woman is unable to control themselves and cannot stop it, then really the best way out is to get a divorce.
Financial difficulties
Another common reason for divorce. Moreover, the most difficult moments are experienced when initially everything was fine, but due to the loss of a job by one of the spouses or for other reasons, money suddenly became catastrophically short. It is important to be patient and work together to find a way out of this situation.
Often, divorce is filed by mothers of children whose father is dishonest in his responsibilities and does not want or cannot provide for them financially. In this case, the family code comes into play. After a divorce, the negligent parent will pay alimony - its amount is determined in court.
For financial reasons, marriages sometimes break up in which one of the spouses solely manages the jointly acquired property. It is especially sad when things and money are taken out of the house to be sold to satisfy their whims or addictions, and children suffer from this.
Conflict of interest
It is better to honestly voice your priorities and life values before the wedding, and not after it. This does not eliminate the possibility of a conflict of interest occurring in the future, but it does significantly reduce the likelihood. For example, for one of the partners it is important that there are many children in the family. Another is not ready to devote himself to parenthood, but is going to study or actively build a career.
A conflict of interest may arise due to:
- moving to a new place of residence;
- joining or leaving with one of the other family members;
- based on political, religious and other beliefs.
In most cases, with mutual desire, it is still possible to find a compromise that will suit both parties. But sometimes the conflict is truly insoluble and it is better for everyone to move on in life in their own way.
Why impose your life values on the other, if in the future both can find partners with whom they will coincide?!
Changing feelings
Our world is changing. Everything is in motion, everything smoothly flows from one form to another. Falling in love turns into love, and love... can also transform. For some it’s deep family feelings, for others it’s friendship, and sometimes it’s mutual hostility.
The reason “we don’t love each other anymore” only at first glance seems insignificant. In fact, it is precisely because of this that the majority of conflicts and those very irreconcilable differences arise. It’s just that people don’t always realize that feelings have disappeared.
By the way, psychologists say that when this happened recently, the extinguished spark can be rekindled. But for this both sides must make some efforts. If you give up mutual claims and grievances and focus on the positive aspects of your partner and life together, then the chances of success are very high.
Uncontrollable addiction
Until recently, the word “addiction” was associated exclusively with alcoholism and drug addiction. Today, so many people suffer from various types of it that psychologists are sounding the alarm.
Real bad habits that could well lead to the destruction of a family are:
Internet addiction: social networks, online games, online casinos and much more - everything that forces a person to spend most of his time in the virtual rather than the real world;- shopaholism: advertising, new brands, promotions, discounts, sales, discount cards become the reason why people stay in stores all day long... and sometimes spend all their money;
- dietomania: a craze for diets, various nutritional systems, which they try to “get” the rest of the family onto, or which lead to the development of diseases.
This list can be continued. But the problem is that a person is not able to get rid of such addiction on his own. In this case, only qualified help can save you from divorce, which the dependent party must consciously seek.
How to avoid divorce
And there are a lot of such stories. The root cause of why marriages fail is misunderstanding, disrespect and unwillingness to resolve conflicts. So we come up with excuses for ourselves that the characters are different, we are not ready to live together, etc. But, instead of destroying a family, and this is much easier to do, you need to learn to talk to each other in the language of love and understanding. Do not run away from a sinking ship when storms and storms come, but fight for your ship, in this case, for your marriage, for your relationships.
If a husband and wife do not learn to resolve conflicts together, then after a divorce each of them will be in a different relationship, will run away from problems in the same way, and any other union will be doomed to failure.
Whatever the situation happens, the main thing is not to give up. Win your soul mate again and prove to everyone that your family is a great value worth fighting for! So that no reasons for divorce can be applied to your family.
Different character
The reasons why marriages break up are now known. All that remains is to take a closer look at the main ones. As it has already turned out, the most common reasons for divorce are differences in character. There are three groups of spouses who dissolve their union for this reason. Let's look at what offends each of these groups.
The first group is youth
At the age of 20, today’s youth have raging hormones and want to get married quickly.
For some reason they think it’s easy and simple. However, you should understand that marriage is a big responsibility. After starting a family, it becomes clear that the lovers do not know each other at all, and conflicts arise from this. “They didn’t get along” - that’s what they say when they go to the registry office to sign the dissolution of the union. We expected an atmosphere of joy and celebration, but what we got was everyday troubles.
At 20, a person is not yet ready for responsibility, so early marriage of couples leads to divorce.
The second group are those who like to “struggle with shortcomings”
A simple situation - lovers have been dating for several years, they know all the positive and negative sides of each other. For some reason, they believe that after marriage everything will change, that women will be able to change their men. But does the representative of the stronger sex himself want this?
The character of an individual can only change if he himself decides to do so. This is a proven fact. “They didn’t get along” can no longer be said about such spouses; rather, this category refers to those who did not live up to their expectations from married life.
You also need to remember that if you fell in love with your chosen one at 20 years old, and decided to get married at 30, think about whether he is the same person or not.
The third group includes those who know each other thoroughly
Attention!
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Women sometimes believe that if they know their men well, the relationship is simple and can be left to its own devices after marriage.
However, if we consider the grounds on which a marriage is declared invalid, indifference will take one of the highest positions in the ranking. Husband and wife must work on their relationship every day; we must communicate with each other. Otherwise, factors will appear that will lead to problems, conflicts and quarrels. The reasons for divorce will appear on their own; the recognition of the union as invalid is something that you won’t have to wait long for.
