The meaning of the word "consolidated"
According to the explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by T.V. Efremov, this word has three meanings. Firstly, it is something collected from various places, composed of several parts. For example: p. concert, p. statement, p. battalion.
Secondly, this word is used when talking about marriage between a man and a woman. This is a civil marriage that is not formalized by a church ceremony.
Thirdly, this word is used in the concept of “stepchildren”. A stepbrother is a relative who is a brother through a stepfather or stepmother. But this category in the dictionary also includes children who have a common father and different mothers, or vice versa, a common mother and different fathers.
Full and half-blood relatives
The consensual type of relationship is the most common in the world. It is popularly known as “blooded”. In this case, the children have common biological parents. Such brothers and sisters have a common genotype, are similar in appearance, and can, in most cases, act as donors for each other if necessary.
Half-siblings are relatives who also have a genetic connection, but it is due to the presence of only one common parent, regardless of whether it is the father or the mother. Therefore, the likelihood of having common external traits or character types is significantly reduced compared to siblings.
For persons who are biological children of the same woman, but have different fathers, the term “fraternal” was introduced. In the opposite case, when children are united by a common father, but they are born by different women, they are given the status of “half-blooded”.
Step Siblings: Definition and Relationships
So, according to the interpretation of the word “step”, these can be people who are not actually related by blood, that is, daughters or sons of a stepmother or stepfather. Or a half-sister (half-brother) is the children from previous marriages of those persons who re-created a family, that is, not half-blooded, not half-brother. They only have one of their two parents in common (mother or father).
Such children, uniting in a mixed family, often enter into unspoken competition with each other for love and attention from their parents. In this case, maintaining a harmonious and psychologically comfortable relationship is not easy. But a lot depends on adults. Maximum tact when communicating, knowledge and adherence to basic rules will help you avoid problems and cope with difficult situations that arise. It is necessary to create all the conditions so that children, despite a divorce and a new family of parents, can learn to feel each other as members of a large, friendly family.
Sequence
The law knows 8 orders, therefore, when inheriting, the notary places relatives according to the order. This principle is enshrined in the articles of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation:
- The first group includes parents, children and spouse;
- The second includes full and half-blooded (that is, half-blooded, in cases where there is a common father) sisters and brothers, as well as grandparents on the mother’s or father’s side.
Unlike these relatives, step-relatives are not such. Since they are not in a kinship relationship, their connection is based on property relations.
Step-relatives do not belong to the second category, but only those who are related to each other by at least one parent. For example, half-born - by the mother, and half-blooded - by the father. They inherit in the absence of a will and heirs of the 1st line. Their children and nephews receive it only by right of representation.
Video about inheritance issues
Inheritance issues are perhaps one of the most difficult. In order to resolve them correctly, it is best to contact qualified specialists.
What to do in new circumstances
The changes that have occurred can lead to destabilization of the child’s psychological state. How a boy or girl perceives his mother’s (or father’s) new life partner also depends on the time that has passed since the separation or death of one of the parents. It is better that at least two years pass from this time.
A new family of people who have already been married often consists of parents and children who are not related by blood. It is most difficult for young family members to accept new circumstances who have not yet learned to cope with life’s difficulties, who do not know how to show patience and seek compromises. It’s precisely that they don’t know how, and not that they don’t want to, as many adults think, and sometimes they get angry with the offspring from their first marriage because they complicate the situation in the newly-made family, without jumping to the ceiling with happiness that they have a half-sister or half-brother. Determining the degree of similarity between children’s interests is the first step towards harmony. This is what parents should do.
Opposites
Another reason why you might hear “I hate my sister!” from one of the girls is that very often girls are very different from each other. They have different vectors of behavior and life positions. While one sister dreams of becoming a star, chooses a new expensive dress for herself and only dates rich men, another girl works at a simple job and appreciates sincerity of feelings and kindness.
A more down-to-earth girl will have a much stronger connection with her mother. However, she will never understand the behavior and actions of her sister. Accordingly, two reasons at once can affect the development of the conflict.
The first thing a more self-centered sister will notice is that she is not as connected to her mother. Of course, she does nothing for this and, by and large, does not want such a close relationship
However, seeing that her sister is actively discussing everything with her mother and they communicate like best friends, deep down she will experience disappointment and strong jealousy.
The second reason for disagreements and the phrases “How I hate my sister!” in such a relationship is that both girls simply do not understand how one can live this way
A more demanding girl will begin to create situations from childhood in which attention will be paid only to her. A calm sister will, of course, put up with this situation for a long time, since she has very tender feelings for her dearest person.
However, over time, pain and resentment will outweigh so much that love will gradually fade into the background, and hatred will begin to progress in the foreground.
Trust in a blended family
One of the main problems in new families is establishing trust between children from first marriages. A half-sister or half-brother is at first a stranger to the child. It is difficult for him to accept that now he needs to share the attention of his beloved parent with this stranger. Children on both sides experience this feeling of bewilderment. And, as a result, they resist the efforts of adults to force them together. It is a mistake to think that children in mixed families try to deliberately ruin relationships with new relatives. They just don't know them. And we haven’t yet learned to trust them. And in many ways, the relationship between offspring from previous marriages depends on the position of adults.
Who are half-brothers or half-sisters in new families? Strangers or family? Near or far? Only the love and attention of adults, correctly distributed among newly made relatives, will help them become truly family, despite the lack of blood relationship.
Jealousy
Of course, with the appearance of a little sister, the older girl develops strong complexes. At the same time, she begins to compete with the baby, as she sees that her parents give her much more attention. She can declare in her hearts: “I hate my younger sister! Why did you even start her?”
Such competition most often occurs when the age difference between children is very small. If the older sister is already of a conscious age and understands her responsibility for a tiny child, then in this case such problems arise less often.
However, despite this, many girls very often pay attention and remember, even if unconsciously, that more attention was paid to their sister. They are not always right in such judgments
After all, when they themselves were babies, they simply do not remember that their mother and father also gave them all the love and care. At the same time, the girl received even more warmth, since she was the only child at that time.
How to bring stepchildren closer together
During disputes and conflicts, especially large ones, it is important that adults do not take the side of one of the children very clearly, even if the culprit of the quarrel is obvious. This will lead to aggravation of the situation, increase the antipathy of children towards each other and, importantly, give rise to the idea that parents can be manipulated. It is better to prevent such conflicts or, if they occur, to make every effort so that the children go to different corners and calm down. When they are capable of dialogue, you can calmly discuss what happened at a family council. This is the only way, gradually, without shouting, that you can bring your children closer together.
It is possible to overcome hostility. It is necessary to model situations where children will become allies on the path to some common goal. When they help each other, help each other out, are proud of their common achievements, empathize, sympathize, they become closer and closer. When children are same-sex, this, on the one hand, allows us to find more common ground. On the other hand, it intensifies rivalry. For a boy, a stepbrother is someone who seems like him and is fun to play with. But at the same time, he takes away his mom’s (or dad’s) attention. To prevent the child from having such feelings, parents must explain that the appearance of a new relative does not mean the loss of part of parental love, but on the contrary, it is an addition to the family, the acquisition of another loved one.
What role do conflicts play?
When a family is large, frequent conflicts of interests among its members are inevitable. Any conflict is an attempt to find boundaries.
Children do not specifically test our nerves for strength, as well as each other’s patience. They are looking for their place in the world, understanding through interaction the boundaries of what is permitted in the family and in society as a whole. By finding mutually beneficial options for eliminating contradictions, children not only learn to get out of momentary conflicts with others, but also solve the common task of arranging a harmonious community in a group of equal people. Understanding which methods of communication are acceptable and which are unacceptable is necessary for their mental maturation and socialization. When it comes to young children, conflicts, quarrels and fights are a clear illustration of the fact that the child feels offended by the infringement of his rights and is annoyed by the discrepancy between reality and his expectations.
Which in itself is absolutely normal: our freedom is limited by the freedom of others. Therefore, it is so important to learn to determine your own boundaries and the boundaries of others and, if necessary, influence them in socially acceptable and mutually beneficial ways. Denying the conflict both externally and internally, not recognizing your negative emotions, suppressing them, is destructive for the psyche
This takes away a person’s ability to influence the situation, creatively solve problems without encroaching on the rights of others, and, as a result, imposes restrictions on social adaptability. A better understanding of the social side of life by children is facilitated by such a family structure, when the younger generation has the opportunity to discuss their thoughts and feelings with their parents and, under the friendly supervision of adults, learn to practice behavioral skills in various social situations. Parents who are good at establishing an open, “accepting” and constructive discussion of children’s experiences, including in connection with emerging conflicts with siblings, create a reliable emotional basis for building a higher level of social intelligence in their children. At the turn of the 20th – 21st centuries, it was social intelligence that began to be recognized as the most important tool for achieving life goals in modern society.
To ensure children have a smooth entry into society, adults are obliged to teach them the basics of harmonious interaction with other members of society, including through establishing healthy relationships with those closest to them - parents, as well as brothers and sisters.
What else, besides parental participation, determines how relationships between children will develop?
Mistakes you shouldn't make
One of the main and serious mistakes is comparing children with each other. Under no circumstances should one child be used as an example to another, thus emphasizing inequality. A greater manifestation of parental love towards their own child also aggravates relations between stepchildren and provokes conflicts between spouses. Punishing one of the children in front of the other humiliates the dignity of the second child, which can make him angry. But most of all, such children are irritated by injustice, so its manifestations should be minimized in order to preserve comfort and tranquility in the house.
Who are half-siblings? Small personalities, big stubborn people, sometimes capricious and distrustful. But parental love and understanding can lead to the fact that in adulthood they will become close people and help each other.
A stepbrother is a new friend with whom you can fool around, fly a kite, and together build the best hut in the world. A stepsister is a friend with whom you can play with dolls and share a secret about your first love.
Sister's attitude
Why is a loving sister important?
A loving sister is much more than a good friend. The bond between siblings is very strong and this means that there is always someone you can count on in difficult circumstances. Despite rivalry in childhood and adolescence, jealousy towards parents, quarrels, people quickly understand that a loving, good sister is one of the most important people in life. Why?
- Emotional closeness and a sense of kinship allow you to understand each other without words. Only a sister can sometimes be trusted with things that cannot be told to a friend, husband or parents. And the spiritual, emotional and biological connection of twin sisters can be so strong that legends are made about it - the twins feel like a single whole, and feel the experiences and pain as their own.
- Children raised in almost identical conditions can be very different, sometimes completely different from either their parents or each other. They may have different views on life, react differently to events, and this is good - after all, each of the sisters complements the other.
- Only with your sister can you speak sincerely, without fear of awkwardness and misunderstanding. She will help you objectively assess the situation and will always tell the truth.
- A sister gives care and love, worries and sincerely worries about you, supports and protects.
Conflicts between sisters
Even good sisters can have conflicts, the cause of which lies in difficult childhood quarrels. Sometimes a mere trifle, remembered in early childhood, can poison life for a long time.
How to get rid of an unpleasant feeling? First of all, you need to formulate your complaints, and only then express them. Usually the conversation ends with the fact that the complaints expressed in person are accepted by the other party with surprise - after all, the sister may not even remember what happened in childhood, and may not suspect how much it poisoned the life of a loved one. A heart-to-heart conversation helps to re-evaluate the event and get rid of many years of resentment.
Big difference in age
When the age difference between children is too noticeable, this inevitably leads to a relationship where the older child takes care of the younger one. This family model is convenient for father and mother, but this does not always suit the children themselves, especially if they feel old enough and do not need intrusive care.
How to deal with this situation? A person’s first reaction to something he doesn’t like, as a rule, is a burst of anger - but this does not solve the problem. Anger needs to be analyzed, because it is the main indicator that guardianship is crossing the comfort line of a young sister or brother. You need to figure out what exactly irritates you in the behavior of your relatives. After the list of annoying actions has been determined, psychologists advise talking to your sister or brother in the format of a calm message about your dissatisfaction.
The first attempt at such a conversation may not be successful, but over time the conversations will give the desired effect. The main task in the fight against obsessive care is not to allow yourself to be manipulated, to infringe on self-esteem and not to freak out. Only a calm, confident rebuff will help you cope with this situation.
How to improve relationships between sisters
It’s wonderful to have a loving sister, because this is, in fact, one of the closest people. But sometimes relationships are aggravated by quarrels that the conflicting parties cannot forget even in adulthood. How can you deal with this?
- Be prepared for the fact that reconciliation will not happen “suddenly and immediately” - it may take a lot of time to forget about the past.
- Don’t be afraid to look stupid trying to make contact - after all, it’s better to try than to regret what you didn’t do.
- Accept that your sister has her own point of view on childhood events and discuss them - for example, if you were the “favorite” in the family, admit it. Perhaps this kind of recognition is what is missing to improve relationships.
- Say sincerely, from the heart and confidently that you want to restore warm communication.
- Remember that a reunion with your sister may not happen right away - just a neutral relationship will be enough to start with. Sometimes it is not possible to restore relationships at all, but at least an attempt must be made. In addition, this will help, if not make peace, then at least get rid of the acute feeling of hostility, because a sincere heart-to-heart conversation will not leave people related by blood indifferent.
The attitude of modern society and the law towards consanguineous marriages
Our ancestors knew about this, prohibiting marriages between siblings, taking as wives girls from afar, from other settlements. It was not for nothing that the peoples of Africa or the North living in an isolated space had a custom: a stranger was obliged to conceive a child to a chosen woman.
The opinion that the closer the parents are in blood relationship, the mentally and physically weaker their offspring, has existed for more than a decade. This fact is explained by the fact that the probability of encountering the same pathological genes is too high.
Categories of permissible and valid marriages
Will the marriage be valid if the groom's parents do not know about it and, accordingly, did not give their blessing? About two months later we divorced, no children. Two years have passed, now there is a man who wants to marry me, but his mother is against it because I am divorced. Although she herself is divorced, she says that she will abandon her son if he chooses me. Can he marry without permission?
If your bride is a good person, a believer, and especially of your nationality, then there are no problems or obstacles. 1. After a divorce, a woman can get married only after three months, during which it is revealed, among other things, whether she is pregnant from her previous husband or not (see Holy Koran, 2:228). Now I find out from certain “ulamas” that my marriage is invalid and that she and I are living in sin, and our children are illegitimate.
Is it possible to marry your cousin? Marriage between cousins
Lawless Heart. These words have been around for many years, no one knows who first used them, but they are still relevant today. The issue of consanguineous marriage was hotly debated both 200 years ago and in the modern world. There are always two points of view in any dispute. This question is no exception. Opponents refer to the genetic deviations of children from such a marriage and its unnaturalness, while supporters believe that marriages between relatives, in particular cousins, are a completely harmless phenomenon. Let's try to figure out whose point of view is closer to the truth.
Modern scientists, conducting various experiments, have determined that it was consanguineous marriages that became the most important reason for the extinction of the dynasty of the Egyptian pharaohs. They also constantly say that children whose parents are close relatives are more susceptible to various physical anomalies. A striking example of this is the children of royal dynasties, who were much more likely than others to have various genetic diseases.
