Are witnesses needed when registering a marriage at the registry office, at weddings and weddings? (2021)

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

According to ancient customs, a witness at a wedding can be a young, unmarried friend of the bride who is not her relative. However, this is just an old tradition, based on beliefs and signs, and at a modern wedding it can be completely neglected.

The main qualities that a witness should have are sociability, originality and the ability to take an unconventional approach to any task, responsibility, and positivity. She organizes the bachelorette party and the wedding itself, so for this role the bride should choose her closest friend who knows her best.

Wedding courier

The witness plays the role of a courier who maintains contact between the newlyweds and the wedding market workers. Newlyweds should be constantly in the spotlight - at the disco they light up with the guests, at competitions they are active spectators or direct participants, at the table they listen to toasts without being distracted by various technical issues.

Seating of guests is usually done by the host and coordinator. But situations can be different, for example, at a banquet they served less cutlery than there were guests. While the attendant deals with this problem, the witness should do everything to make the person feel comfortable. After all, every wedding guest has two fears: “Where is my place?” and “When will I congratulate?”

The witness makes sure that everyone's glasses are filled. Witnesses must also accompany guests along with their parents. It is more convenient for parents to communicate with departing guests, learn about first impressions after the celebration, and have a drink “on the road.” And the witness must call a taxi, so he must have several phone numbers of different taxi services in stock. He also helps tired guests get dressed and walks them to their cars.

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

For the groom's best man at a wedding, according to customs, the same requirements apply as for the bridesmaid - he must be an unmarried young man. But in this case, traditions are also often violated; any friend or relative of the groom can play this role.

When choosing, you should focus on the same qualities as when choosing a witness.

The best man helps the groom in everything before the wedding and during the celebration, so he must be cheerful, but responsible.

How to choose a witness

It is believed that the witness should be an unmarried, undivorced girl, several days or years younger than the bride. Agree, when every second couple lives in a civil marriage, it is difficult to determine whether the girlfriend is married or not. But this is more of a practical idea. After all, according to the same signs, the witness should be the first to get married after the bride. From this point of view, it is interesting for an unmarried girl to play the role of a boyfriend. It is not advisable to take blood relatives, such as a sister, as friends. Complete ban on widows. Yes, the circle of acquaintances is sharply narrowing.

By the way, 100 years ago our great-grandmothers were given in marriage by a married witness. She dressed the bride, did her wedding hair, and after the wedding she braided a “female” braid. The woman shared her experience with the bride and helped with advice. In the church, it was the married couple who were taken as witnesses for the wedding. Their successful experience will be the key to the happiness of the newlyweds. Modern signs say the opposite, they say, you cannot take a married couple as witnesses. Allegedly, they will give their happiness to the young, or, on the contrary, destroy their marriage (I wonder how?). This is how modern signs contradict spiritual traditions.

If you approach the choice of a witness more soberly, then she should be a very organized, punctual and responsible young lady. At the same time modest. So that she doesn’t overshadow the bride with her charisma.

Can married or divorced people be witnesses at a wedding?

The condition that witnesses at a wedding must be unmarried (we are talking not only about family relationships between the bride’s friend and the groom’s friend, but also about marriage in general) is based on a sign. According to her, passion between witnesses on the night after the wedding is the key to a long and happy marriage for the newlyweds.

Another sign says that if the bride's friend and the groom's friend are husband and wife, the relationship between the heroes of the occasion will not be strong. The same thing supposedly awaits future spouses if one or both witnesses are divorced.

From the groom's side

The groom's witness also plays an important role. As you might guess, this is the person who is the best friend of the hero of the occasion. The one whom the groom trusts. Just like on the bride’s side, the future husband puts forward only one witness. It is appointed in advance. Now this is done at the stage of sending out invitations.

The witness is an important person. Some compare this person to the groom's "right hand" at the wedding. He will have to help his future husband in competitions and at ransom. We can say that the groom is the groom's keeper. And the groomsman at a wedding is the bride’s keeper. Previously, their presence was considered extremely important. Now, as already mentioned, this is not a mandatory point for a wedding.

Why are witnesses needed?

How the celebration will go depends largely on whether there are witnesses at the wedding. The groom's friend and the bride's friend are the main assistants of the newlyweds during the pre-holiday events (bachelor party, bachelorette party) and the wedding itself.

They do everything to make sure one of the most important days in their friends' lives goes perfectly. The newlywed's friend watches her dress and appearance in general. The best man controls the atmosphere at the wedding, smooths out conflicts between guests, makes toasts and congratulations.

Wedding walk

It’s difficult to do everything in one day, so you need to clearly allocate time. It is better to organize a walk after visiting the registry office. If you plan to visit several beautiful places in the city, you need to create an optimal route to save time. A wedding walk in winter is best spent in a cozy cafe or photo studio.

Witnesses accompany the newlyweds everywhere. They make sure that the guests are not hungry, that everyone has glasses of champagne and sweets. The bridesmaid constantly monitors the bride's dress and helps to make it beautiful. She should have napkins, threads, a cosmetic bag, and spare stockings in her purse.

Responsibilities of witnesses during a wedding

What do witnesses do at a wedding? As during preparation, they make sure that the future spouses worry about organizational issues as little as possible and enjoy their celebration.

During the wedding, a witness from the groom's side:

helps a friend buy his bride. The best man should take a few small bills with him, as the groom will probably forget about it;
before the wedding ceremony, the registry office checks that passports and rings are in place;
during a banquet in a restaurant, monitors the behavior of guests and waiters, avoiding conflicts and other unpleasant situations;
doesn't drink too much alcohol.

At a wedding, the bride's friend acts as a maid of honor. Responsibilities of a witness:

carry out a ransom;
carefully monitor the bride’s appearance and inform her if her makeup has rubbed off, her tights are torn, or her hairstyle has deteriorated;
help guests find their seats in the banquet hall;
help the bride accept bouquets and gifts.

Both the best man and the bridesmaid should come up with several toasts and parting words to the future spouses. The witness's toast at a wedding should be original and memorable.

Wedding preparation

Witnesses provide support at all stages of the pre-holiday bustle: choosing a dress, accessories, jewelry, garters for the bride and a suit for the groom, buying flowers, ordering a car for the newlyweds, transport for guests, selecting music for the celebration, participating in the entertainment program, accompanying guests.
On the eve of the wedding, the witnesses organize a farewell party for the bride and groom. The groomsman's task is to gather friends for the bachelor party, and the groomsmen's task is to invite girlfriends for the bachelorette party. The holiday should be organized as fun and noisy, but, of course, within reason, so that you won’t be ashamed to remember.

Morning before the wedding

On the wedding day, witnesses must be on the threshold of the newlyweds' house in the morning. The bridesmaid gathers the bride, helps her get dressed, prepares towels for the ceremony, collects everything she needs for a walk in front of the restaurant, and helps prepare the bride for the photo shoot.

The witness is the main character, an assistant in the ransom of his friend's future wife. He must be prepared for surprises and surprises prepared by the bridesmaids. The main task of the honorary witness is to “sell” the bride at a higher price.

Actions at ransom

The bridesmaid carefully thinks through and prepares the ransom of her best friend, monitors the actions of the groom’s friends, and organizes the girls to help. The witness should not be confused in the presence of beautiful girls; he actively helps to win the bride away from her girlfriends, dances, answers questions, sings, gives a ransom, pours and distributes sweet gifts.

After the meeting of the bride and groom, the invitees are seated in cars and in a friendly cortege are sent to the registry office. Witnesses do not forget to make sure that the cars are decorated with balloons and ribbons.

Registration and wedding

You must arrive at the wedding building 15-20 minutes before registration starts. Witnesses give the newlyweds' passports to the registry office registrar, invite guests to the hall, and choose a melody that will accompany the ceremony. All actions are coordinated with the bride and groom.

When the ceremony begins, the witness takes the groom's side, and the witness takes a place next to the bride. He is given the right to hold the wedding rings of the newlyweds. Not so long ago, the marriage registration procedure was confirmed by witnesses with their signatures. Today, this measure is not necessary, but if the registrar asks to complete this formality, you should not object.

At the end of registration, the guests congratulate the newlyweds; the witnesses are the first to express their congratulations. The witness opens champagne and pours it for the bride and groom, the witness accepts flowers from the guests.

Many young couples want to seal their union with a wedding. You can get married in a church on your wedding day or at any other time. The duty of witnesses in the temple is to support the crown over the heads of the bride and groom. They must be believers and baptized. Now this ritual has already lost its relevance.

Wedding superstitions

Many wedding superstitions involve witnesses. For example, in ancient times, the groom's friend and bridesmaid were dressed in the same clothes as the newlyweds. This was done with the expectation that the witness would literally replace the newlyweds in the event of an unforeseen situation.

In Rus', witnesses were required to perform small rituals so that the life of future spouses would be happy:

The friend makes sure that the bride is not jinxed. To do this, she pins a pin on the wedding dress and hems its hem.
The best man takes with him white threads, which will come in handy if the bride or groom drops the wedding ring.
At the end of the wedding ceremony, the groom's friend and the bride's friend kiss.

Despite many superstitions and customs, there is no connection between the behavior of witnesses and the life of the newlyweds after the wedding.

Traditions are not so important; the main guarantee of strong family relationships between spouses is love and mutual understanding.

Who can be taken as witnesses?

As already mentioned, today when registering a marriage you can do without witnesses. But in this case, the newlyweds are deprived of the most wonderful days before the wedding. After all, who, if not a close friend or girlfriend, will help in organizing the event and take on some of the responsibilities.

Previously, many newlyweds necessarily invited witnesses, since it was believed that the decision to get married without them was not accepted among friends and acquaintances.

There are long-established traditions of selecting witnesses. Some people neglect them, considering such rules outdated, while others steadily follow them, wanting to do everything as popular beliefs dictate. How to choose wedding assistants?

The groom's representative must be a man, and the bride's assistant must be a woman. Both must be unmarried. It is believed that if the witnesses are married, they may lose their marital happiness.
By tradition, it is allowed to invite a couple of lovers as witnesses. But it is best to make such proposals to single people who know each other little or are strangers at all.
These should be energetic and active people, then the wedding will be fun, and guests and newlyweds will remember the registration day for a lifetime. Do not forget that witnesses are sometimes responsible for organizing competitions, so assistants should be sociable and optimistic. If the celebration is led by a toastmaster, then the task of the witnesses is to take an active part in games and competitions.
It is necessary to choose those people who sincerely wish happiness to the young people, otherwise the atmosphere of the holiday will be ruined.
These must be responsible and reliable people, since their responsibilities include holding the event, buying the bride and preparing some stages of the celebration.
Relatives of the bride or groom can also be witnesses. However, close relatives, mothers and fathers, are traditionally not allowed to take such a role at their children's weddings. You should choose from more distant relatives - brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. However, there is one caveat: the bride should not choose her own sister as a witness.
When choosing a bridesmaid, the bride needs to take into account one more tradition: the bridesmaid should be younger than her, at least by one day.
Previously, only baptized and deeply religious people were taken as witnesses. However, during regular registration at the registry office, this rule can be neglected. If the newlyweds themselves are believers and, in addition to the painting, plan to get married, then observing this tradition is highly desirable.

Get ready for a toast at the registry office

You might think that choosing a suit and doing your hair is quite simple. In most cases, this is true.

However, your best friend's wedding is not just any ordinary day.

It can be surprising to realize that this is the last time you will see your friend before he gets married.

If you manage to find the right moment to make a toast, you will not regret that you prepared for it in advance. You will create a sincere, warm atmosphere and cheer up the newlyweds before the ceremony.

At large, carefully planned celebrations, it is easy to lose your emotional connection with the people who will be there.

A toast at the registry office is a short and quick way to take some time and show your love for the groom and respect for his life partner.

If you want to take them by surprise with your words, then it is better to do this at the registry office, and not during the wedding toast.

Responsibilities of a witness before the wedding

If you are wondering what the main assistant does before the wedding, then there is no clear answer, and it all depends on the bride. But one thing is for sure, the witness is almost the most important person at the wedding, with the exception of the newlyweds themselves. Among the main assistance from the witness are:

Decoration of the celebration place;
Selection of live music, selection of songs;
Choosing a florist;
Selection of the most suitable photographer and video operator;
Creating a buyout situation and carefully considering all actions;
Help choosing the right dress and jewelry.

And this is not the entire list. Fulfilling the duties of a bridesmaid begins with going to dress shops, looking through many leading fashion magazines to find the most beautiful and luxurious dress for the bride, so that she becomes the center of attention.

The next stage is choosing a place for the banquet. Each witness is required to conduct thorough analyses, find out about all the advantages and disadvantages of each option, find out about the price for renting a hall, learn the range of menus, evaluate the interior design and find out whether it will suit the theme and style of the wedding celebration. The final decision on choosing a place is made by the newlyweds. Also among the responsibilities of the witness are some functions by type of administration:

A deposit is required;
Approve the menu;
All details of the event with the restaurant administrator.

It is also necessary to take into account another important responsibility - choosing a professional makeup artist not only for the bride, but for the host of the event. In this case, the witness also pays a deposit and meets with selected specialists to clarify all the details

What should a witness do?

The witness, or in other words the best man, is one of the first to know about the wedding, because he is not just an observer, but an active participant in the celebration. It is advisable to inform him about this personally and immediately express your wishes and explain what the witness should do.

So, his responsibilities include:

moral support of the bride and groom;
drawing up the image of the groom (helping to choose a suit, get dressed, maintain a formal appearance until the end of the appointed day);
organization of a bachelor party and a wedding celebration (choose and order a cafe, help prepare the text of the oath speech, etc.);
preparation of attributes for the bride price and active participation in this stage of the wedding;
storage of all documentation and rings;
participation in competitions.

The main thing that the witness should remember is that his friend’s wedding day should be the happiest.

Showing your creativity, making an original surprise, and maintaining a cheerful mood in every possible way is the direct responsibility of the best man. The witness should help him with all this.

Therefore, it is worth meeting her in advance and discussing the details of the wedding. Joint scenes and congratulations look original

In this case, it is important to rehearse everything and learn the words. The possibility of a witness touching alcohol before the couple arrives at the restaurant is not great, especially if he is driving

Creating the image of a witness

Of course, the bride should attract the attention of guests on this day. But the witness should not be too lost against her background and should be different from the other guests. The image of a bridesmaid should be thought out as carefully as the image of the bride herself.

Bridesmaid hairstyle for wedding

In our country, unlike Western countries, bridesmaids do not have their outfits and hairstyles chosen. Here the girl herself thinks through everything. But don’t do everything quickly, take time and think over your image.

The hairstyle should not overshadow the bride. If the young woman decided to stick to elegant and simple curls, then the witness should not do her hair with a lot of pins. Work with your hair without using a lot of rhinestones, extensions, hats and combs.

Last throughout the day. Complex shapes and clutter on the head are not our way. You will have to take an active part in competitions and dances, and help young people. Therefore, depending on the length of your hair, use hairspray and 1-2 accessories.

The witness's dress should be simple, but at the same time beautiful, not too flashy. You can consider a white version, but not floor-length and not made of satin/tulle, a lace version is acceptable.

Do not choose too revealing outfits - a deep neckline and open back are not acceptable.
It is better to use a pastel-colored outfit in which the use of rhinestones will be kept to a minimum. Avoid options with gold trim and other pronounced decorative details.
We advise you to avoid heels, as you will have to run.
If dresses of the same color are chosen for all bridesmaids, then the main one should choose a lighter option, this will allow you to stand out from the rest.

The witness should be beautiful, but still the background of the main character of the evening.