Before putting on their wedding rings, men and women want to know all the pros and cons of marriage. For some, official painting is a way to prove their love for each other; for others, it is a way to reach a mutual agreement and a business agreement. In Russia, marriages are traditionally concluded for love, but in other countries girls do not always become wives of their own accord.
Traditions and foundations: how marriage appeared
For some couples, the usual registration in the registry office is not enough; they also get married in a church. This tradition arose relatively recently in Russia, but it is interesting that on the day of family, love and fidelity, July 8, which is also called the day of Peter and Fevronia of Murom. However, it will not be possible to get married in church on this day, because the eighth of July is a day of fasting.
When concluding an official marriage, the bride and groom must kiss each other, but this is not a simple tradition, but a necessity that appeared in Ancient Rome. When there were no certificates and seals in use, a kiss sealed the relationship between men and women who decided to become spouses.
Historically, in some countries to this day there is such a form as levirate - the transfer of a widowed wife to the brother of the deceased. This tradition continues in Australia, South America, Africa and India. There are other types of relationships - companionate, when a woman takes a widowed man as her husband.
However, this is not as bad as weddings in Bali, where the newlyweds have six teeth filed down, thereby removing six blemishes. However, the pain they experience cannot be dulled by anesthesia or painkillers.
In Japan, there was another tradition - temporary wives. Since before becoming a legal wife, a Japanese woman must save up money for a good dowry, she marries a foreign man for a short period of time - most often up to one year. He fully provides her with everything she needs, and only after this can the girl become a full-fledged wife for a Japanese man.
An unusual custom exists in Singapore. According to the established tradition, younger brothers marry only after the older ones, but sometimes it happens that the eldest dies. In order not to deprive others of the right to marry, the marriage with the deceased is registered posthumously, after which the rest can find an official wife for themselves. They do the same thing in China, but not to free younger brothers from obligations, but for fun, because an unmarried man can be very bored in the next world.
Russian customs can surprise no less. So Peter the Great issued a decree according to which only smart people who knew geometry and arithmetic could get married. However, this rule applied only to nobles. Another interesting thing is that since in some areas boys and girls were married at the insistence of their parents, a “bride substitution” could occur. The groom, who saw his betrothed only once, did not recognize her during the wedding, hidden under a veil and dress. And when the painting had already taken place and the substitution was discovered, nothing could be changed. The parents of several girls took this step, one of whom was beautiful, the others not so much.
Which is better: civil marriage or official
Modern people often do not want to enter into an official marriage, preferring to cohabit without any obligations. Supporters of civil marriage, without going to the registry office, consider special advantages in such relationships. We invite you to consider these advantages.
Advantages of civil marriage:
- No additional costs for preparation for registration in the registry office. Plus saving time.
- During the time they live together without a stamp in their passport, young people can get to know each other better, which will allow them to decide whether to enter into a legal relationship with this person or immediately break off the informal marriage.
- Lack of legal duties and responsibilities.
- There is no need to file for divorce. At any time, a couple can separate without the “paperwork” associated with the divorce process.
- A woman does not need to change documents when getting married and changing her last name.
People find other advantages in a civil marriage, but when viewed from a legal point of view, such relationships do not give legal rights to the spouses. For example, when a child is born in an unregistered family, the father will have to draw up adoption documents or recognize paternity, which will also require investment and time.
In the event of the death of one of the spouses, the second will not be able to inherit his property. Also, unregistered spouses do not have a legal right to receive survivor's pension payments in the event of the death of one of them.
The problems of illegal marriage are also clearly visible in the case when a couple decides to end their cohabitation, but already have jointly acquired property. Unregistered spouses will not be able to go to court to resolve controversial issues.
Wedding at 12: where is this possible?_12
The pros and cons of marriage do not matter when children are forced into marriage by their parents. This actually happens in some countries. A wedding is a historical ceremony during which the rights and responsibilities of both spouses are determined. Creating a family without registering a relationship is impossible. However, in some countries, parents themselves decide how and when to marry off their children. There are cases where girls become spouses at the age of 9 years.
In Europe, people most often get married when they reach marriageable age. In Hungary it is 18 years, as in Poland. In England and France, marriage is allowed from the age of 15-16, but provided that the children have become emancipated or the parents have given consent.
In Canada, the minimum age for girls is 12 years, for boys - 14 years. The same age is set in Chile and Ecuador.
On the territory of Russia, many marriage traditions developed with the advent of Christianity. This applies not only to age, but also to certain principles - for example, it is believed that a man should be at least 2-3 years older than his wife. In some regions of Russia, in the Caucasus, a guy can “steal” a girl, provided that she has reached the minimum marriageable age, and marry him. However, most often the initiators of early marriage (at 12-14 years old) are parents.
What are the differences between official marriage and civil marriage?
Citizens of the Russian Federation practice 2 types of marriage:
- Official – registered with the civil registry office.
- Civil marriage – this type of marriage means cohabitation without official registration of family relations.
Many people understand a civil marriage as an unofficial union of two people of the opposite sex that is not registered in the registry office. From a legal point of view, this definition is erroneous. A civil marriage is precisely an officially registered family relationship.
In everyday life, many do not delve into legal terminology, and are accustomed to equating cohabitation without registration in the registry office with a civil marriage.
Several points stand out that give a clear understanding of the difference between an officially registered marriage and cohabitation.
In the Russian Federation there are a number of regulations regulating the procedure and rules for entering into an official marriage. Unlike cohabitation, a legal union must be registered with the civil registry office, and the relations of the spouses are regulated by the Family Code of the Russian Federation.
Entering into an official marriage gives rise to mutual rights and obligations for the parties, the violation of which may lead to liability. Ordinary cohabitation is regulated exclusively within the framework of civil law.
Why is marriage needed?
Despite all the pros and cons of marriage, people tend to make their relationships official, and there is a reason for this. The subconscious desire for marriage is inherent in every person from childhood, provided that there were normal relationships in the family, and mom and dad raised their son or daughter together.
There are several reasons why young boys and girls strive to register a relationship - together it is easier to endure the hardships of life, rent an apartment or pay a mortgage, in addition, when living together, sex improves, which has a beneficial effect on health. Interestingly, since starting your own family is an important stage in life, people often give up some bad habits, such as smoking and regular alcohol consumption.
However, all this is typical only for a happy marriage. Many are afraid that they will not be as lucky as their mother/girlfriend/boyfriend, and therefore are in no hurry to officially register the relationship.
The reasons why people most often get married are simple: great love for a person, a desire to take care of him, to have children. For women, stability and a guarantee of fulfilling certain obligations are important. Men are more often in a hurry to make their girlfriend unfree, so that potential rivals can see that she is already busy with someone else.
An equally significant reason is the desire to obtain the status of “married” and to feel that one belongs to a unit of society.
Variable relationships - guest marriage - we consider all its subtleties in the article at the link.
Just a couple of centuries ago, marriage had nothing to do with love at all.
It was a purely strategic alliance aimed at expanding the zone of influence and increasing the total property of two families. The opportunity to choose your own spouse came only in the 20th century. Modern people have generally lost faith in the institution of marriage.
Not because it is being popularized, but because it is really gradually losing its meaning, the advantages that it gives are quite illusory, and besides, marriage itself cannot guarantee security, stability, and even less fidelity of partners. Nevertheless, there are still reasons to formalize your relationship.
Pros and cons of registering relationships3
You need to study the pros and cons of marriage before applying to understand whether it is really that important and necessary.
The advantages include the following: the possibility of concluding a marriage contract and documenting all rights to housing, movable and immovable property, having children in a protected environment, inheriting joint property in the first place. For women, as well as for men, the advantage is that if they are caring for a child and their spouse suddenly dies, the husband or wife has the right to count on survivor benefits.
If citizens give birth to a child out of wedlock, they will need to go through a long and inconvenient procedure to establish paternity. For official spouses, everything is much simpler - the child is automatically registered under their names.
Interestingly, according to the law, a woman is protected even in the first year of a child’s life - if she is pregnant or raising a baby, a man cannot file for divorce of his own free will.
If suddenly for some reason the spouse ends up in a pre-trial detention center, then only the official spouse has the right to visit, which can also be a significant advantage in some difficult situations.
There are also disadvantages to marriage, but most often these are disadvantages for men who decide to leave the family - they must pay alimony until the child turns 18 years old.
Other significant disadvantages are foreclosure against the spouse if the husband or wife cannot fulfill the obligations entered into for themselves. If the spouses decide to divorce, they also have to go through a complex divorce procedure, since property is divided in court. However, the latter circumstance can be called more of a plus than a minus, because at the end of an informal relationship it is impossible to prove that the item was bought by someone specifically or with joint money.
What does marriage give?
An officially registered marriage gives spouses legal rights and responsibilities regarding the management of family and household relations, raising children, and disposing of jointly acquired property.
Russia has various subsidy and assistance programs for young families. Legally married spouses can obtain a profitable mortgage for the purchase of housing under a government subsidy program that provides for covering part of the cost of real estate using funds from the budget.
Advantages
In order to determine the advantages and disadvantages of official and unofficial marriage relations, it is necessary to turn to family law (namely, to), as well as to other laws of the Russian Federation.
Having carried out the analysis, we can conclude that the advantages of a legally formalized marriage relationship include:
Possibility of concluding a marriage contract
If for some reason the spouses want to secure property rights in documents, they have the right to draw up an agreement. In the absence of an agreement, all property acquired during marriage (except for that which was received as a result of a gratuitous transaction - donation, inheritance) will be considered jointly acquired. The division of jointly acquired property can be carried out by agreement of the parties, or through a judicial authority.
1st order inheritance
If the death of one of the spouses occurs, then, in the absence of a will, the second, along with the parents and children, will be the heir of the first priority. It is important to remember that in the event of receiving an inheritance, not only the property of the deceased will pass to the citizen, but also his debts. That is why, before entering into an inheritance, this fact must be taken into account, since in some cases the debt exceeds the value of the property and becoming an heir is not advisable.
Survivor pension benefits
Upon the death of a citizen, his spouse (as well as children and other dependent persons) has the right to demand the assignment of pension payments for the loss of a breadwinner. A person who is not a spouse or relative (including if cohabitation with the deceased continued for a long period of time) will not be able to receive such payments, even if other requirements are met.
Establishing paternity
If a child is born to citizens who are not officially married, they will need to go through the procedure of establishing paternity (the procedure is not complicated in principle, but it can cause certain difficulties). If citizens are in an official marriage union, then the child will automatically be registered with the spouses.
Husband cannot file for divorce
This advantage is a plus for women, but men, on the contrary, consider it a minus. So, if a woman is pregnant, or is raising a common child whose age is less than 1 year, then the man will not be able to dissolve the marriage - either through the registry office or in court.
Visiting a spouse in a pre-trial detention center
Unfortunately, the situation sometimes develops in such a way that one of the spouses may end up in a pre-trial detention center (SIZO). If we refer to Art. 395 of the Code of Criminal Procedure of the Russian Federation, it states that persons who are close relatives and relatives can obtain a meeting with a citizen who is in a pre-trial detention center. In accordance with Russian legislation (Article 5 of the Code of Criminal Procedure of the Russian Federation), close relatives are considered: husband/wife, mother/father, sons/daughters, adopted children/adoptive parents, siblings, grandchildren/granddaughters, grandparents. The legislator includes other persons who are related to the citizen as other relatives.
Possibility to choose a surname
Citizens entering into a marriage relationship (or who have already entered into a union) have the right to take a common surname (in this case, just as a wife can take the surname of her husband, and vice versa). At the same time, it is necessary to take into account that the surnames of the spouses can be combined, but on the condition that none of them has a double surname. If the marriage is dissolved, the surname can be returned.
Principle of equality
In accordance with the law, all life situations must be resolved by spouses based on the principles of equality. This, among other things, concerns issues of fatherhood, motherhood, upbringing and education of children.
Marriage according to Darwin - the evolutionary development of marital relations4
From the point of view of evolution, the family is important as a unit of society in which everyone plays their role - the mother raises the children, the father provides the family with food, clothing and everything necessary. This is a very general definition that has little in common with the modern institution of the family, but when this unit of society was formed, the motive was the following - a mutually beneficial mother-father partnership.
The first historically documented form of monogamy was the patriarchal family, ruled by the father. The transition from this form of family to a new, modern one did not take place immediately; many intermediate stages were passed through.
The first families were communities - large household families in which people of three and sometimes even four generations lived at once. Each family member performed his own function - ran the household, raised children, prepared dinner for everyone, collected food, hunted wild animals. The modern family is different, but despite this, at all times the evolutionary idea and function remains the same - the birth and raising of children, the protection of the wife under the “wing” of her husband.
Duration of marriage in different countries5
In recent years, there has been a tendency towards the devaluation of marriage. Divorce has become too easy, and spouses, after a strong quarrel that could have been resolved, rush to the registry office or court in order to sign a certificate of divorce.
The divorce rate is increasing, but the numbers vary from country to country. In Qatar (Daha), the overall divorce rate is 38%. More than half of couples break up quite quickly - after five years of marriage.
In the UK, the average length of marriage is 11 years, and the divorce rate is 42%. However, the highest probability of relationship dissolution is between 4 and 8 years of marriage, or after 11 years of marriage.
The Japanese also get along well with each other, with a divorce rate of 36% and most couples living together for at least 11 years. However, the trend is increasing as in recent years divorce is not considered an indelible shame. It’s interesting how a divorce ceremony works in Japan – spouses free themselves from the shackles of their former life by breaking their wedding rings with a hammer. Both are blindfolded.
In Mexico City, the average marriage lasts longer – 12 years. Previously, marriage in Mexico City was very short - about two years, but the situation changed when a special license was invented and introduced. The divorce process happens very quickly, however, more and more couples began to live together for a long time.
In Sydney, despite the fact that the divorce rate is quite high - 43 percent, people also live together for 12 years. They wait until the children grow up. Many even strive to maintain relationships for 20 years, so as not to traumatize their children with the news of divorce.
In the US, the overall divorce rate is 41%. The average length of marriage is 12 years and 2 months. Interestingly, the highest percentage of divorces - 60% - occurs in second marriages, and 73% - in third marriages of Americans.
Paris is called the land of love, and relationships there actually start easily and quickly. Despite the fact that couples who decide to divorce have been married for 13 years, the divorce rate is very high - 55%. Passions are running high!
In Russia, people live together for about 14 years before divorcing, but the divorce rate is very high - 51%. In Moscow alone, for every 100,000 registered marriages, there are about 50,000 divorces.
People live together for the longest time in Italy - 18 years, while divorce is extremely rare - in 30% of cases.
Flaws
In addition to the advantages, an official marriage union also has disadvantages (subject to certain circumstances).
Thus, the key disadvantages of a marriage registered in the registry office include: Jointly acquired property
As mentioned above, property acquired during marriage between citizens who registered their union is considered jointly acquired and is subject to division. If citizens do not formalize the union, then in the event of separation, each of them will remain with their property.
Foreclosure
In accordance with the law, if one of the spouses cannot cope with their obligations, recovery can only be applied to their own property. However, if the citizen’s property turns out to be insufficient, then the creditor’s representative has the right to legally demand the allocation of the share from his official spouse, which, in the event of a divorce, would be due to the debtor and to foreclose on it.
Alimony payments
In accordance with family law (namely Articles 89 and 90 of the RF IC), spouses are obliged to support each other financially. If one of the spouses refuses to provide financial support to the other, it can be demanded in court. Thus, the following have the right to appeal to a judicial authority: a disabled spouse in need, a pregnant wife or one raising a child under 3 years of age, as well as one of the spouses who is caring for a child with a disability.
Guinness World Record for longest marriage in the world6
Of all the couples in the world, Indians have lived together the longest - 86 years. According to traditional customs, the wedding took place very early - at the age of 12 years for the bride and 13 years for the husband. Despite the fact that the girl did not manage to finish her studies, she was busy with everyday life, children appeared in the couple only 15 years after the marriage was registered, but today they already have 7 children, who in turn gave their mother and father 15 grandchildren.
When asked if they lived happily, if there were quarrels, the wife answered “Sometimes,” but the husband, interrupting her, replied “Never.”
Interesting facts about marriage7
The origin of marriage occurred a very long time ago, at the dawn of human life, but at the very beginning, marriage had rather a sacred meaning. There are also cases in history where marriages took place between relatives, this is especially typical in the Middle East.
It’s interesting that in the modern world everyone is in favor of monogamy, but the original form was still polygamy. Surveys were conducted that showed that even today men are not against polygamy if it were allowed, but women protest.
The marriage certificate has only recently become so important, since 1639 in the United States. Before this, no documentary evidence of marriage was required, but accordingly, divorce could not occur, since everyone close to him knew about the marriage.
The relationship between a man and a woman has never been purely personal; society prefers to know, if only to distinguish married from unmarried.
Message from the Editor
We are looking for the most relevant and truthful information for you, since the relationship between the two opposite sexes is surrounded by a bunch of erroneous stereotypes. Would you like us to tell you how family life affects the feelings and relationships of partners? The results of many surveys and studies show that within 3-5 years from the moment of official registration in the registry office, the character of each partner changes radically towards secrecy. Meanwhile, experts have refuted all concerns on this issue. This situation is not bad at all. If you notice this in yourself or your other half, this indicates that your priority is working on relationships, which is the most important condition for a happy marriage.
Pros of cohabitation
In reality, everything is not as simple as it seems. Previously, in Russia, a de facto union had significance. It was enough to share one bed and lead a common life in order to be officially registered as a family. But in 1944 everything changed. From that time on, citizens had to undergo official registration of relationships at the registry office. In this case, persons living together could indicate the duration of the actual relationship. What makes an actual marriage stand out? All people speak out for and against this form of relationship. For some, living under one roof is enough; for others, it is important to have a stamp in their passport for peace of mind.
Among the positive aspects of actual marriage are:
- Lack of responsibility to your spouse. As was emphasized earlier, in conflict situations people can simply disperse without consequences.
- Freedom. Many people understand that actually living with a citizen is a kind of freedom. Today you can live with one person, tomorrow - with another. Nobody owes anything to anyone.
- Property relations. An undoubted advantage is the fact that everything acquired in a de facto marriage is not recognized as joint. What is bought by the husband belongs only to the husband. And all the wife’s property is only her property.
Perhaps all these features can also be considered disadvantages. A de facto marriage means a minimum of responsibility and a maximum of legal disputes if the parties have obvious conflicts.
